Gabe is gone, obviously, so I am going to be talking about the movie trailers today. Fun, right? A little change can be fun sometimes. Like when you part your hair on the opposite side and you look so different. Or when you write about the movie trailers rather than the writer who usually does it. You know? Change! Let’s watch some trailers together!

The Letter

OH MY GOD. Oh my god. Oh my god. This is the best movie trailer I have ever seen in my entire life. I am so upset that I am sitting alone in my apartment right now and I can’t see anyone else’s faces when they watch this movie trailer. Did David Wain make this movie?! (NO!) (He didn’t!) (It was directed by NYU film professor Jay Anania!) I’ve hardly even wrapped my mind around what I just saw enough to be able to say anything about it. Winona Ryder, what are you doing?! James Franco, I definitely know exactly what you’re doing! I don’t remember the last time I was this excited to see a movie. It’s going to be on VOD. “It’s going to be on VOD.” – Me, right now, to everyone on gchat. THE PART WHERE HE BLOWS ON HER AND IT IS SO DRAMATIC? THE PART WHERE HE I GUESS FINGERS THE GIRL OR SOMETHING AND THEN THE FACE HE MAKES? This is perfect. Someone call off all of the Oscars from now until the end of the world, we have a winner.

10 Years

There are a lot of people I like in this movie, but holy moly does this look like a terrible movie! Also I cannot ever see Justin Long without thinking about how much of a jerk he definitely is in real life. Also I don’t know why Jake Johnson wasn’t cast in the Jake Johnson role. That seems like it would’ve been an obvious choice? Gonna have to give this one a big PASS!

Seven Psychopaths

So like Choke meets New York Minute? Got it. Love you Sam Rockwell, but I don’t think so in this case! Mainly because of the title cards, those are some horrible title cards! But also Tom Waits is in there for a second and I do love Tom Waits so it’s possibly a tossup but to be realistic I think I’m going to have to pass!

Keep The Lights On

I’m not sure why this one gets to keep all of its awards when the trailer for The Letter has been released?

How To Survive A Plague

Yes! I want to see this.

Great Expectations

I didn’t watch the whole thing because it was too boring, but I know some people enjoy movies like this for some reason and, if you are one of them, I am sincerely happy for you. Enjoy the movie! I hope you have a good time!

Deadfall

WHOA! So many big shocks, right in the first 30 seconds! But, well, I don’t really know what this movie is about. Hitch rides and then kill the family of the driver and serve them for dinner to each other because of how lonely and cold you feel and how beautiful you are? Weird idea for a movie, but ya gotta do you, Deadfall!

Stage Fright

Hahahaha. You know how newscasters are always talking about how places might be haunted after someone dies in them. The news! But yes, yes, for the love of god yes! This looks great. Great meaning terrible and comically amateurish and done-to-death (so to speak!) but also I want to watch it because, unlike Gabe, I love scary movies. And I have a special place in my heart for Blair Witch-style scary movies. And I have another special place in my heart for movies that sound like they’re part of R.L. Stein’s Fear Street series. So this is just hitting a lot of good heart places.

The Last Stand

No!

Comments (31)
  1. Kelly, Seven Psychopaths is from the dude who did In Bruges which is the best

  2. You know, when I read what Kelly wrote about the trailer for The Letter, I thought maybe she was being facetious (aka lying). But nope, that looks terrifying in a very satisfying way. Good trailer.

  3. Ok, yeah, no, there is no way I am seeing Keep The Lights On. I’m sure it is great and amazing, but I am equally sure that it will rip my heart out and make me cry all the tears and that just seems unfair. There should be tears left over for everyone else. I

  4. 10 years from when? Those people are in their mid-thirties at their youngest.

    • college? Is it a college reunion?

      And for a minute I thought this was like “Valentine’s Day” or “New Years” or whatever.

      • It’s the 10 year reunion for the seminal movie Valentine’s Day and I don’t even have a date!!! [Looks wistfully at the boy across the desk at my job at POPULAR MAGAZINE.]

    • Yes, also Ron Livingston? What?

      Also I have a friend who recently complained (not to me but in a blog post…) that her ten year reunion made her feel old. Needless to say I rolled my eyes a LOT because I am somewhat older than that.

  5. Why did the producers of Deadfall go and spend all that money teaching Eric Bana how to lose the Australian accent and sound like Matthew McConaughey? Just hire the source to begin with!

    Acting!!

  6. What if In Bruges is like Asia’s “Asia”? Fool me once, “Alpha”, shame on you. Fool me a second time, shame on Seven Psychopaths.

  7. Wait, Justin Long is a jerk in real life? But he was Warren Cheswick.

  8. I still can’t believe they’re saying Keep The Lights On is canon in the Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark universe.

  9. We JUST had the Great Expectations with Scully as Miss Havisham, an Abercrombie model as Pip, and Viserys Targaryen as Herbert Pocket. I don’t really think we need another one.

  10. Before I watched the trailer for The Letter, I thought the top photo referred to Lady Mary. And although I love Winona Ryder, I would like to see Lady Mary go toe-to-toe with James Franco in a movie.

  11. oh, winona ryder. you beautiful, perfect, terrrible actress.

  12. remember when arnold schwarzeneger was a govenor, you guys?

  13. Too many fucking movies. Who’s paying for all these movies?

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