“I have been through so many relationships in which it seemed like each of us were holding back from expressing the true extent of our feelings. And for what? To hold onto some sense of power? To keep from letting the other one know how much they could truly hurt us? It’s self-defeating, exhausting, and has made me more than ready to be in a relationship based on honesty and overwhelming love. That is why I have chosen to enter into a relationship with the boy who has been making YouTube videos about how beautiful I am and how much he loves me, though it is unclear whether or not we have ever actually spoken to each other. I know what you’re thinking, and I’ll tell you that at first I wasn’t convinced either. A boy who makes videos about how much he loves me and puts them on YouTube? I know! But to borrow a line from the The Perks of Being A Wallflower trailer, “we accept the love we think we deserve.” And it wasn’t until his most recent six-minute long video, and the epilogue that follows, that I was convinced that he is what I truly deserved. I love him. I love him, I love him, I love him.” – Emily

We all have to go through a lot of pain to come up with ideas for how to describe our feelings, but I’m glad this kid found the perfect way to do it, and the perfect shirt to do it in. God bless these two lovebirds. (Thanks for the tip, djfreshie!)

Comments (51)
  1. I’d like to write a love song to that shirt.

  2. Okay, buddy, good luck competing with THIS guy!

  3. “Hey Emily, I didn’t really learn ALL of the words to this song, but, I mean, come on, amirite? Anyway, if you also want to watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves later I’d be down for that. I’ll have to put on a different shirt, though.”

  4. i’m so happy i’m not this poor kid’s age now. i thought of all kinds of creepy ways to be “romantic” towards the girls i had crushes on in grade school. if I was 12 or 13 now, i would’ve made so many of these videos and they would be around forever.

    tip: try to record your singing when nobody is home, that way you don’t have to mumble quiet enough so no one hears what you’re doing in the closet.

    • Yes! Fun Game: what the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done to woo someone when you were that age?

      I wrote a love letter to a guy and thought it would be romantic to spray perfume on the paper but instead of, like, spraying the air and waving the paper through it, I just sprayed directly onto the paper so there was this weird grease-looking stain at the bottom. Sent it anyway, though, obv.

      • made a mixtape when i was 11, in which i recorded my feelings in between songs via a $3 microphone. and then never gave it to her.

        i am so glad cassette players no longer exist, because that tape is probably in my house somewhere.

      • I don’t know what the most embarrassing thing was, but there’s no way it could have been any worse than the constant erections.

      • cure lyrics in a yearbook.

        • No, it was the whole song. I wrote the whole song in some guy’s yearbook so he’d understand how I felt. Because only two people got me — this guy and Robert Smith. His friend responded by putting Teen Angst by Cracker on a mixed tape for me. It was a weird love triangle. Bizarre, even.

      • I walked two and a half miles in -20 degree weather on the offchance of meeting up with someone at the mall. It is really surprising, and also possibly a shame, that I survived into adulthood.

      • Wrote letters to a girl, like snail mail kind of thing, stamped it, put in the mail, and it probably was delivered to her house a day or two later — we only lived 5 blocks away from each other. And I would see her at school, and I would see her on the weekends ’cause she was part of the group of friends, and weeks would go by and she never brought up any of the letters that included my feelings. Which in turn hurt my feelings.

    • Seriously when I was 12 all I had was my parent’s boombox that had a mic in it. Those tapes of me singing songs I made up have surely disintegrated by now.

  5. That kid is the real-life 80s-movie protagonist of our collective dreams.

  6. Oh this kid. This poor kid. He reminds me of my brother at 13 or 14. Of course, I never would have let my brother film this and put it anywhere anyone could find it ever. And it’s life lessons like this that I have imparted on my little brother that have allowed him to do stuff like get married and breed and I’m stuck posting on the Internet with you jerks.

    Just kidding, love you guys.

  7. At least he’s pretty okay at air guitar. I mean not great, obviously, but it’s better than his singing. I dunno. Actually maybe that juxtaposition is just making his singing seem worse. I dunno. Stay positive, kid.

  8. Can I make a serious, if perhaps unpopular, request? Can we not make fun of friendless kids trying their little hearts out? This kid is so socially awkward and unaware that it makes me squirm thinking about how horrible school must be for him. I’m sure he gets it bad enough from his own peers, he doesn’t need to be made fun of by adults as well. I’m sorry to be such a Debbie Downer, but it just bums me right the fuck out.

  9. Bryan Adams just has that effect on people. If she doesn’t like the tape, he can just make another one to “Please Forgive Me”.

  10. man, I just feel like visiting this very sweet, loving boy, patting him on the shoulder, and then lifting my shirt and showing him my boobs. and then I’ll say, “That is the only time that will ever happen to you now, you know, because of the horrible thing you did on YouTube, and also you’ve ruined that poor girl’s life because everyone is going to sing that song to her whereever she goes and it probably won’t be long before she hangs herself. but anyway, did you like the boobs?” which is just a dumb question because obviously he’ll like the boobs; my boobs are great. not to brag or anything.

    • i hope this is the evolution of “It Gets Better” made for straight kids.

    • Enjoy them while they last, young’un. If I have but one regret in life it’s that I didn’t go braless more often when I could have gotten away with it. Now my poor girls are trapped in an underwire prison for the rest of their miserable lives.

    • Now that I know how you will handle it, I’m probably going to spend the rest of today picking out a terrible song to mumble to you.

      • aw, you’d dedicate the video to me, huh? you know, it might have gone your way (vis-à-vis boobs) if you did it for someone else, but to do something this horrendous and dedicate it to me, thus dragging me down with you in your internet shame? here’s a dramatization of exactly what would happen:

        HOTSPUR: [does what this gentle, oblivious child did in the video did, and dedicates his even worse version to Althea Quinn and her boobs]
        ALTHEA: [calmly jumps into her invisible jet AND FLYS THE FUCK OUT OF IT OVER TO HOTSPURS PLACE OF RESIDENCE]
        [ding-dong (SHUT UP HOTSPUR EVEN IF YOU DON’T HAVE A DING-DONG I WILL DING-DONG THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FAKE DOORBELL ANYWAY)]
        HOTSPUR: Hi! I’m ready for your boobs!
        ALTHEA: [immediately maces hotspur in the face]
        HOTSPUR: [astounded, screams incoherently]
        ALTHEA: astounded you, didn’t I!
        HOTSPUR: YES!!
        SUCCESS, THE END

  11. I’m assuming Mike the camera man is some sort of friend? Well unless this kid edited out hours of footage in which Mike beseeches him to reconsider, Mike is the worst friend.

  12. Four for you, Thomas Lo Coco! You go Thomas Lo Coco!

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