As Gabe mentioned, I was away on Friday. And now that I’m back on Monday, GABE ISN’T HERE! Are we the same person? Maybe! It’s possible, but I’m not going to tell you yes or no. That’s your jigsaw puzzle. What I will tell you, though, is that Gabe is actually going to be gone for a few days, and in his place we’re going to have some fun guest writers! DO NOT FAINT IN SHOCK AND EXCITEMENT! It’s Monday and you do not want to start your Monday out with a faint. It’s going to be really great, though. I’m very excited. Today’s guest is going to introduce herself shortly! You can watch people faint until then, or you can do honestly whatever else you want in the whole world. It’s a free country. Do you. (Via BIOTV.)

Comments (22)
  1. Ok, so we know the guest writer is a lady. I think the only logical conclusion is that it is evil Kelly, from the evil twin universe. We will know she is the evil Kelly because she has a goatee. Also, her byline will read “Evil Kelly Conaboy”.

  2. Two important questions:

    1. Will these so-called “guest writers” follow the set schedule of a post every 45 minutes, or do I have to totally rethink my refresh schedule?

    2. Why are none of these so-called “guest writers” me?

    • That’s a great question! Enlist the Monsters to write a post or two!!! Give it to the #1 comment writer, have them expand on their awesome Gold-medal-winning comment, or just Op Ed it. Let’s all have fun!

  3. Was my favorite part all of the people who went into zombie mode first, stumbling around, arms listless at their side (the Army guy being of course my favorite in that genre) or was it the quick cut of three or four wedding faints back-to-back (my favorite there being the woman who takes out the brides knees).

  4. This is why I always carry a fainting couch around.

  5. The girl at the :25 had the same expression as one of my students who fainted while giving a speech back when I was a T.A. Fortunately, the cell phone era had started and at least three other students had already dialed 9-1-1. Pretty sure I still gave her an A.

  6. I am just disappointed this wasn’t used as the background song

  7. Just want everyone to know that I am a big fan of this video. Except, the guy at 1:16 actually frightened me, as I thought his neck was about to snap clean off.

  8. I read something interesting the other day about how human biology mimics the “playing possum” thing in times of extreme anxiety or stress, which is why we faint. — predators/enemies assume we have dropped dead and leave us alone.

    Or maybe they all had low blood sugar / pressure. Either way, that bridesmaid is going to be in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE.

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