Hollywood is now developing a live-action/animation hybrid Alf reboot movie. The working title is No Duh, Of Course. It’s going to be so great. America’s teens are like “Oh man, I’m going to sell my skateboard for a ticket to this movie I can’t wait to see it. Let’s eat Pop Rocks and listen to the hits on the radio!” America’s youth already cannot get enough of the new Alf movie! #ALF is trending worldwide on Twitter and he is everyone’s MySpace Top 8. But the question that remains is who should play him? If you really want to get the kids to the theater, you’re going to go with someone like Jaden Smith probably. But then again, this is nostalgia bait for an aging part of the population, so maybe someone like Mark Paul Gosselar would be better? Then again, that’s a little silly, and what people go for these days is darkness, gritty reality. If you want to do for Alf what Christopher Nolan did for the Batman franchise, then I think you’re going to go with someone a little stronger, like maybe a Dame Jeremy Renner. Then again, Paul Giamatti would really bring out the comedy in the neurotic alien. (I cannot remember if Alf is neurotic or not, but let’s just say that he is because none of this is real.) Or you get one of these new hunks, a Liam Hemsworth, a Taylor Lautner, a Jared Leto, and you make Alf more fuckable. Now he’s an international sex symbol. He eats cats, GET IT? Gross! Who should play Alf? How about McCauley Culkin? I feel like he’s kind of a sad case these days. Let’s bring him back the way Quentin Tarantino brought back John Travolta. Seems like no one has thanked him for that in awhile, by the way. Thanks, man!

Comments (40)
  1. So glad my mom never threw out my Alf lunch box. Time to post that thing on eBay and watch the money roll in.

  2. lindsey lohan is interested…but i think she could loose the part to Donald Trump.

  3. Well, I’m pretty horrified to report that after assuring Google that I didn’t mean to search for “sexy elf,” I found this:

    So let’s say Channing Tatum as Alf with this costume concept?

  4. I do a really good impression of Willie Tanner asking Alf not to eat the cat. I’m just putting that out there. #THESECRET

  5. Ummmm why are we acting as if anyone but Andy Serkis could do justice to this role?

  6. I always thought that Dave Coullier had a striking resemblance to ALF. Maybe its time to give Uncle Joey a call!

  7. I vote for the same guy who did this:

  8. Saul Goodman

  9. Mitt Romney should play ALF.

  10. get Rodney Dangerfield on the phone!

  11. Not to get all #grossgum on you guys, but an uncircumcised penis does a pretty good job.

  12. A movie “Alf” about a guy named Alf? Tyler Perry is listening…

  13. Guy Fieri

  14. Sarah Jessica Parker

  15. It’s got to be Michael Madsen in full on Mr. Blond mode.

  16. Sony Picture Animations has gained the right to make an ALF movie. Please help keep the ALF movie from becoming a CG live animation movie by signing this petition.

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