Casting calls are almost always hilarious. Look, if you want to see an alien shove itself into a human flesh suit in Men in Black and walk around all herky-jerky for the big guffaws, then someone has to put out a casting call that says “Seeking weird looking man who might just be a suit of skin wrapped too tightly around a gross alien spider body who can walk like an absolute mess. Must own trenchcoat.” That’s how the magic is made! But the latest round of casting calls for extras on the Altanta set of the second Hunger Games movie are pretty funny. From ONTD:

African American Children 12 and younger Light-medium skin tone very thin. Need to have the ability to cry. Want to see distress in their eyes. Would love to see their crying ability on tape.
Subject “CRYING CHILDREN”

African American female darker skinned very thin age 60-80. Needs to have a hunched back or the ability to lose like that for an extended amount of time. Also need to have the ability to cry. See the pain in their eyes. Would love to see a video of them crying.
Subject “CRYING GRANDMOTHER”

African American female darker skinned tall and muscular age 16-15. Again the ability to cry. Would love to see them cry on video.
Subject “CRYING MUSCLE”

Hold on, guys. THERE ARE MORE! In the event that you cannot cry on video, there are plenty of roles for people who look deathly skinny and poor with bad teeth and ugly faces. I’m sure there’s a part for you! Take a look:

The extremely skinny any ethnicity and gender. Please submit 3 pics that shows your thin body frame and women no make-up please. We need to sell starvation and poverty.
Subject “THE SKINNY”

Caucasian women with weathered faces. These are hard-working women that have been through alot. This is where your no make-up is going to sell it. No photo shop show us the real you. We need the character faces to bring the scene to life.
Subject “WEATHERED”

Caucasian men and women that are skinny that have irregular teeth. You need to a a thin stature as well. Please send a picture of your smile for us. No make-up. This goes with the starvation and poverty.
Subject “TEETH”

Caucasian Men and women with very thin frames with acting experience/ Please attach pics that show your thin frame as well as your acting resume.
Subject “YELL”

Seeking Children 1-17 very thin frames for the older ones more so. This goes hand and hand with starvation and poverty.
Subject “Children”

If you fit the descriptions listed above then please e-mail Idiomavailcheck@gmail.com please include 3 pics (head and body) age, ht, wt, and all contact info. Please list any additional info that was listed with the role you are submitting for. Please put appropriate listing in the subject box. Attach Videos and resumes as well.

Ahhhhhh! This guy knows what they’re talking about. We need to sell starvation and poverty. No photo shop. Please send video of crying black children to famousmoviestar@showbiz.biz. Subject: “Nightmare.”

Comments (15)
  1. Sounds like Joan Rivers’ comeback might be continuing at a solid pace if she goes out for that “weathered” casting call.

  2. “Caucasian man with an obsession for balloons. Must really enjoy kissing, cuddling, and sleeping with balloons. So much so that it will disgust us and the viewers simply watching you do it.
    Subject: BALLOON LOVER” -Ad from NATGEOtv

    • “We’re running out of content. Kelly, I need you to put out a casting call, we might need to fake some of these!” – Gabe

      “Hairy spiders, molting or not. The bigger the better. Must be able to jump and/or hide. Please send 3 head shots, a body shot, and a short video (preferably under 30 seconds). You will not be compensated for your work but you may include it on your acting resume.” – Kelly

  3. I always wondered about casting calls for people who are specifically meant to look awful. Like, the fat ugly mannish girls who guys wake up next to after drinks in comedies, or the creepy snaggle-toothed yokel with a hairy pot belly in horror movies that involve road trips. Now I know. #TLC #learninggum

    • I always wanted to go out for one of those, like the “before” picture for a workout program or something. Then my wife could tell people she’s married to a model.

    • I also wonder how excited women are to be cast as that. “I got it! They must think I’m really horrible! This could be my big, ugly break!”

  4. The good news is, there’s a sure-fire way to make children of ANY ethnicity cry. The bad news is, it might be counter-productive, as they will no longer have any sort of hunger whatsoever.

  5. is this a casting call or a fasting call amiright?

  6. “Crying Muscle” a Lars Von Trier Joint

  7. I feel like whoever gets turned down will be automatically sent over to whatever Tyler Perry movie he’s shooting at the time. “Sorry, you’re not crying/thin enough. Head over to the dude in a wig and dress across town.”

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