Oh, brother. Want to know about something that I don’t care about at all? Everyone is screaming “yes,” right? “Tell us tell us tell us tell us tell us!!” Well, fine, something that I don’t care about at all is SHARK WEEK, which begins this weekend, on Sunday. Ugh. Olympics and Shark Week back-to-back? It’s like television and social media have turned against me, all at once! Shark Week annoys me a lot because — Well, really I am very impressed with whoever came up with the idea for “Shark Week” because what a genius that person was. What a genius way to get a bunch of jerks who couldn’t care one bit about sharks or the Discovery Channel in general all year long to, for some reason, go bananas over sharks for a week in August every year. Head’s up, jerks: YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT SHARKS! And neither do I! I do think that the buzz about “Shark Week” has died down over the years, but not enough to not annoy me so much. I apologize if you do care about sharks, though. Maybe you studied them in college? If so, I can understand your excitement about Shark Week. Finally, people are paying attention to the thing that you love. That must be very nice for you! But everyone else is a lying jerk. Either a lying jerk or someone just trying to find a little joy and camaraderie in this bleak world. ONE OF THE TWO! Anyway, let’s get to the animal videos!

10. Cat Walks Cart

9. Cat Chat

8. Man Silences Geese

7. Dog And Dolphins

6. Kangaroo And Lemur Play Tag

5. A Great Puppy In Slow Motion


3. Golden Retriever Puppies

2. Talking French Bulldog Has A Terrible Voice

1. Perfect Family Needs To Get A Deer Out Of Their House

Wow, what an enjoyable family! GIVE THAT FAMILY A TV SHOW! But every episode is 5 minutes long and it’s only them trying to get different kinds of animals out of their house. Perfect. Perfect show idea. Pretty much the rest of the top five are just cute puppies this week? I apologize for the lack of diversity there, but I only have what the Internet provides, and this week the Internet has provided A LOT of cute puppies. This is, of course, with the exception of the surprise frog attack. I hope your speakers weren’t up to loud! My apologies if they were, but not really, because sometimes you just have to LIVE A LITTLE!

Comments (19)

  2. that deer could seriously fuck some shit up. put the camera down and get that kid out of the way!

  3. Kelly — It annoys me too. It would make me happier and make more sense if the footage they show of sharks during shark week is of sharks being kind, lovable creatures. In college, I took a whole class on Literature & the Pacific, and one of the videos we watched was this documentary about this guy trying to show people that sharks aren’t actually vicious predators, but the media has made them out to be to promote good TV, because people want to see violence. And so then Asian countries show off their masculinity by finning (yes it is the act of cutting off the fins of sharks and tossing them back into the ocean, finless and unable to swim, therefore dying) sharks and making, what I’m told is, terrible shark fin soup. And sharks are on the verge of extinction because of it, and this mindset that sharks will KILL YOU when in reality if you approach the shark calmly enough, you are able to hug it. It’s kind of magical.

  4. That poor frog girl! Some person, could be anybody, really sympathizes with her! Because some person was once carrying a huge terra cotta pot with an aloe plant in it from one side of a porch to the other when a frog jumped out of it and onto somebody’s arm! And then that person screamed not unlike the girl in the video and dropped the huge terra cotta pot on the ground and it shattered everywhere and got terra cotta shards, potting soil, and aloe all over the place. Could’ve been anyone really.

    Haha, oh man, that deer family! That video is perfect.

    Also, was anyone else getting concerned for the dog in the dog and dolphin video? I was just worried it was getting so tired! How long can a dog tread water? You could tell he was worn out at the end! Otherwise, that video was beautiful. I want to go to that place where the dolphins just come up to your boat and you can swim around with them! Where is that?

  5. some of the people at my work call periods shark week and it makes me so mad.

  6. In my next life I want to come back as that Black Lab.

  7. Here is my heart, slomo puppy. It is yours to keep: you earned it!

  8. Today’s puppies are brought to you by xylophones.

  9. I love the ending to the deer video. I did not expect the dad to go from “oh dear this is not good” to “holy bleep!”

  10. Hey, Kelly, no need to apologize about lots of puppy videos. We know you’re working hard to find the deep cuts of animal videos, such as the kangaroo and lemur video.

    Speaking of kangaroos, has anyone seen this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2182470/Orphaned-kangaroo-wombat-inseparable-friends-share-pouch.html?

  11. Dog swimming with dolphins video is just so sweet, so summery, that I am now longing to be on a tropical vacation even more than I was this morning.

  12. video #1 – what are the chances they homeschool, 90%?

  13. You put that golden retriever video at #3 as a goof, right? Cause that is the greatest video ever made

  14. Dad couldn’t curse in front of the deer, is all. “Parenting.”

  15. Kelly, no need to apologize for the large amount of puppy vids. We know you’re trying to accomodate us cute animal completists with the deep cuts like lemurs and kangaroos.

    Speaking of kangaroos, this will give you soul diabetes: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2182470/Orphaned-kangaroo-wombat-inseparable-friends-share-pouch.html

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