If you walk in on your parents having sex, just go downstairs and shove some pasta in your face. Don’t ask any questions. Whatever you do, do NOT have a conversation with the people raising you. They don’t want to talk to you anyway. They just want to fuuuuuuuuuuck! “Make me feel good!” That’s your mom. “Make me some pasta!” That’s you. It’s called the circle of sauce and we’re all a part of it. (Via Adweek.)

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Comments (39)
  1. I saw this ad and was trying to find it online so I entered in “Ragu Child Sex” in the search bar and so now I’m going to jail bye guys.

  2. Judging by that kids jowls, those parents must fuck a lot.

  3. In Italian, a “ragu” is a meat-based sauce, if you catch my drift.

  4. I love a good origin story:

  5. When my wife and I cook the same food, usually we can agree on who does it better. However, we both make some kickass ragu, and have been feuding as to who makes the better ragu, to the point that we are actually having a cookoff this Friday, and inviting people over to judge. I took time off of work Friday just to make my ragu, as it takes several hours and considerable effort.

    What I’m trying to say is, fuck this noise, Ragu is NOT garbage sauce from a garbage jar.

  6. I think the last thing you’d want to eat is Italian after seeing your parents play “hide the cannoli.”

  7. Ragu leads to Prego.

  8. Have some Penne with your Penetration!

  9. Ragu: For when teaching the lessons of life is just too hard.
    “Mommy, why is grandma laying in that box?” – Marinara!
    “Dad, Erica smiled at me and something happened in my pants.” – Bolognese!
    “Where did mommy go?” – Mushroom and basil!

    • “Why is there white powder all around your nose?” — Puttanesca!

      • Puttanesca literally means “Whore’s sauce.”

        • jk. It means “in the style of whores.”

          • Thanks, lawblog. I actually knew it had to do something with “whores” because Putta means “whore” or something like that.

            The story goes, since you are all so very much interested: in Italy, the puttas/whores would have to not only please their men, but also feed them, and be a semi-wife for a night or an hour or something. And instead of making a full-blown meal, pun aside, they just threw whatever they had at hand into a pot and made a sauce that had a variety of things, ranging from asparagus to corn or whatever. It really didn’t matter because the men just needed food, and so did the putta and just scarf back some of that stuff and they can get to doing the dirty.

    • “Dad, Erik smiled at me and something happened in my pants.” — Alfredo!
      (I’ll see myself out thanks.)

  10. This is NOT how I wanted my kids to find out why they’re on the atkin’s diet.

  11. That kids parents when they woke up that morning: “Theme of the day: Saucy!!”

  12. The good news is the kid grows up to be Jerry O’Connell and making his own babies with Rebecca Romijn!

    • Stand By Me and Rebecca Romjin are the only things that guy has been in that I liked.

    • I thought the same thing, and almost posted a similar picture but then Penne/Penetration…couldn’t resist! Like these parents apparently! Have sex RIGHT when your kid’s coming home from school! We’ll reward you with pasta!

  13. This is essentially a whiskey commercial.

  14. Jeez, look at the horror on that kid’s face. What exactly did he see?

  15. Ragu: Helping kids get an early start at eating their feelings.

  16. “If I’d been the dad in this commercial, it would have ended differently. I’d have gone to the kid and said ‘Everything’s going to be okay. You’re safe now. Let’s have some pasta.’”

  17. Just want to say that the title of this post and all of the comments have given me a much-needed laugh on a rotten day!

  18. Is that why most kids are overweight these days? So instead of fitness programs, the government just needs to encourage parents to put locks on their doors?

  19. Oedipus sauce.

  20. Where was Ragu during my childhood… when that happened…

  21. I am immature.

  22. When I was but a little egg– maybe 7 years old– I was really afraid that there were monsters under my bed. I used to insist on sleeping in my parents’ room at night, because, as we all know, monsters don’t hide under parents’ beds. My dad was getting pretty fed up with this, so I decided one night that I’d have to convince him I was *extra* scared. I snuck out of bed, down the hall, opened their door, and screamed for dramatic effect. You know, because of the monsters?

    Apparently my parents thought I was screaming because of something else, something that I couldn’t even see because it was so dark. But anyway, that’s how I got my first sex talk.

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