Wassssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuup!

Yo young women who don’t just reTumbl things but occasionally post original content and young dudes who aren’t afraid to show enthusiasm for things as long as the enthusiasm is genuine. Today I want to rap at you about cool merch 2.0. In particular, u r going 2 die when u here about this new Katniss brooch. LUV! From the HollywoodReporter (schwing!):

Target is going high-end for The Hunger Games DVD and Blu-ray release. In addition to offering pre-orders of the discs, the retailer has announced that it will be selling a solid 14-K gold Mockingjay pin, like the one Jennifer Lawrence’s Katniss wears in the film, for an astonishing $999.

So sick. It combines your favorite things: obsessive pop culture fandom and gratuitous public displays of personal wealth! And OK, so maybe there’s something a bit grotesque about a $1000 piece of costume jewelry based off of a dystopian nightmare in which economic disparity leads to the entertainment spectacle of children slaughtering other children, but IT WOULD LOOK SO PRETTY ON YOU AT THE WINTER DANCE! And if mommy won’t buy it for you because sometimes the Valium makes her forget things and daddy’s always at work, you can just earn the money yourself, just like Katniss would do, by babysitting all of the children. Girl Power! Take them in the backyard and play Hunger Games with them. You be the thimble. The black baby is Prue. And XBOX and skateboards and energy drinks and gossip. Facebook.

Comments (27)
  1. Last weekend, I was at a bargain bookstore and saw The Official Hunger Games Cookbook, which is just a terrible name for a cookbook, but also, what?!

    • pages and pages of rabbit and rodent stews.

      step 1 is always “Forage”

    • You don’t like lamb stew with fried plums over rice?

        • Well, “dried plum” is just another word for “prune.” So no.

          • Don’t shoot the messenger, man. I can’t help it if Suzanne Collins doesn’t know the word “prune” or “editor”.

          • Didn’t you hear the news? Prunes are REBRANDING. They’re dried plums now. Teens have never even heard of a prune. Please dust off and re-write all your prune laxative jokes for a new generation.

          • I’d just like to say that I upvoted R2D2, Esq.’s response because I laughed out loud at the “editor” part. But my thumbs-up click turned out to be a thumbs-down click. And this isn’t the first time this has happened. This comment deserves ample amounts of upvotes!

    • You guys, I was wrong, it’s the UNofficial cookbook, and I highly recommend reading the reviews on Amazon. This goes for just about any product, but especially those with crazy fandom. My favorite is a woman calling herself “grandma” who gave it 1 star because one of the recipes was lifted from a cookbook that was published in 2006. How did she know about this plagiarism? One can only assume “Grandma” is reading cookbooks word-for-word, and making mental cross-references whenever something seems familiar. Frankly, I’m glad she is not my Grandma.

  2. I believe it’s pronounced “Tar-jay”

  3. Finally I can be as cool as my grandparents with their Logan’s Run hand-diamonds ($9,999, adjusted for inflation).

  4. i bet they’re gunna make a reaping.

  5. So Target refuses to sell Channel Orange but will sell a brooch from a character name Katniss, whose partnering tribute in the film is Peeta, of which if you combine the names becomes Peeniss. Just sayin’.

  6. nothing at target should cost more than $25*

    *nothing I buy at target costs more than $25.

  7. i think it’s fair to say they’ve really missed the mark on this one.

  8. that hungry game chick is pretty

    • Oh, look who suddenly wants to talk and talk about Hungry Game even though when it came out he was so upset whenever other people even thought about it. Whistling a different tune now that he realizes she’s pretty!

      She is pretty. I have been working on my List and she is on it. I’m not sure what my pickup line is yet. “I knew you were pretty first,” maybe.

      • “You want to go to an island with me? No murdo.” (That was the best combination of murder/kill and no homo I could come up with. Sorry, guys, I’m hitting Submit Comment anyway.)

      • Steve probably just read that Ms. Portman is now a Mrs. and is looking to fill the void. Jennifer Lawrence seems great. I think we should encourage this.

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