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After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Free Bates Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
The Aura of the H-Man | Aug 2nd | Score:51 |
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I demand a boycott of fucking Facebook Connect!! |
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| Posted in: Oh, Actually, Boycott Chick-Fil-A | |||
| #4 |  |
facetaco | Aug 1st | Score:55 |
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Does Clive Palmer fall asleep halfway through every movie? |
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| Posted in: Billionaire Finally Attempting IRL Jurassic Park | |||
| #3 | |
facetaco | Jul 30th | Score:55 |
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The number 1 reason not to vote for Barack Obama is the same as the number 1 reason not to vote for Mitt Romney: You’re 6 years old. |
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| Posted in: Top 10 Reasons NOT To Vote For Barack Obama | |||
| #2 |  |
catweazle | Aug 1st | Score:56 |
| Posted in: Journalistic Think Piece: Is Shrek Real? | |||
| #1 |  |
topknot | Jul 30th | Score:58 |
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10. He is the reason there are no more WMOAT posts. |
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| Posted in: Top 10 Reasons NOT To Vote For Barack Obama | |||
[Assoc. Ed. Note: Whoa! So good, you guys! Great job, topknot! VERY great job, catweazle! Good back-to-back, facetaco! Sorry about Facebook Connect, H-Man! Have a good weekend everybody!]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
| #1 | Chris Wei | Aug 2nd | Score:-26 | |
| When you buy something, you’re buying a good or service. You’re not buying politics. All you’re ethically responsible for is what ends up on the receipt. Once the transaction is done, the relationship between customer and corporation is over.
If I go to Chick-fil-A to eat a sandwich, what the COO ends up doing with that money, no matter how wonderful or horrible it is, isn’t my concern and isn’t my responsibility. It’s not my money anymore. It’s his. People should be able to buy whatever they want without being accused of “saying” something politically, if indeed all they’re trying to “say” is, “hey, these guys make damn good waffle fries.” And Chick-fil-A makes damn good waffle fries. |
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| Posted in: Oh, Actually, Boycott Chick-Fil-A | |||
[Assoc. Ed. Note: Gabe, and others, have already responded to this in the thread. You should read their responses.]
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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catweazle | Jul 31st | Score:42 | |
| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Free Bates | |||
[Ed. Note: Congratulations, catweazle! You earned it.]
This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice
| Eric Shorey | Aug 1st | Score:20 | ||
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KELLY!!!! I got invited to a really awkward meeting at work in which the CEO decides she wanted to have coffee with the plebes that work under her so she can get to know us better or WHATEVER. Anyway, she started talking about her pet pigs (named Hamlet and Francis Bacon) and I VERY QUICKLY inquired as to how affectionate they are on a scale of cat to dog. The answer is: LESS THAN CAT. Pigs are very skittish, apparently, and you have to really socialize them before they have any desire to cuddle (she said she takes books into the barn and reads to them so they get used to people being around / human voices)! Also, they love grapes. So, there you go. |
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| Posted in: The Petting Zoo: The Week’s Top 10 Animal Videos | |||
[Assoc. Ed. Note: Thank you so much for this terrible news, sincerely.]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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heimaey | 9:39am | Score:6 | |
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Happy Birthday Gabe – gives you hope as you get OLDER doesn’t it!?!?!?!?!?! |
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| Posted in: Let’s Pole That Vault Today, Guys! | |||
[Ed. Note: Thank you. I guess so.]
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Hey, Monsters, If you’re visiting Chicago this weekend for Lollapalooza come to this. Some of our friends from Splitsieder might even join us. https://www.facebook.com/events/473770555968165/
why you so far away, VG meetup? ew to the south loop.
Is anyone in chi actually going to lolla? it just seems stressful.
Sorry, man. Aftershows. Dum Dum Girls and White Rabbits that night. Seriously, though, no joke, I was at the Angels-Sox game tonight with KROQ’s and MTV’s Kennedy and she gave me a media pass, so I may end up going to Lolla itself.
Also, third time in the ball. Woohoo!
Welcome to this week’s Reverse Commentator Ball. Steve Is out at a Harmony Korine film festival today so I will be filling out for him. We had a fun week, we are still anticipating Katherine Chloe Cahoon’s Music Video, but I am in good authority to report that they are one scene away from finishing principal shooting. Look for that in the upcoming weeks.
After the scroll, the five Highest Rated post, as voted on by me, the Lowest Rated post, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.
Top Five
5. The Petting Zoo
4. Warning: This Photo Of Idris Elba Kills Women
3. A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Vertigo, NOT Citizen Kane, Named Best Film In Sight & Sound Poll
2. Billionaire Finally Attempting IRL Jurassic Park
1. Oh, Actually, Boycott Chick-Fil-A
[Ed. Note: Every once in a while I ask myself, “Why would I, a man whose shirt says 'Genius at Work,' spend all his time reading a mid-size pop culture blog?" Then I read a post like FIl-A and it all makes sense. PS. This Week In GIFs! Was actually number 3, but we all know that this is a blog about visual arts and therefore moving images are disqualified from the top 5.]
Editors Choice & Associate Editor’s Choice
Krispy Kreme Gets Pranked.
This Is Just A Very Good Commercial For Ice Cream
[Ed. Note: These are just the best type of weird Internet video junk out there. They’re funny, quick, and best expressed in the medium. Congratulations, you’ve earned it.]
Worst Post of the week
Top 10 Reasons NOT To Vote For Barack Obama
[Ed. Note: This is like Bill O’reilly and Honey Boo Boo Child had an abomination. This video was funny and all, the write up and comments were great but it bothered me too much to find the lighter side of it.]
Really glad someone has decided to carry on with this undertaking, I started this commentator reverse ball shit, and this is all the mother fuckin thanks that I get? Funny how time flies, I’m just having fun, watching it all fly by
Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to wish Gabe a happy birthday earlier but here, I got you two presents big homie.
Here’s an ad I designed for you. Feel free to use it as you wish, Guaranteed to double site traffic.
Also, irrefutable proof that Shrek is real.
Happy birthday, Gabe. Thanks for all the fun. And here — a friend sent me this photo of herself and asked me to post it:
(Godammit, the schoolbus was Kelly’s doing. But you can still talk about it! If you want!)
Was it Gary? This seems like his kind of stuff.
I knew it! further evidence:
That looks more like Snooki’s ultrasound than Shrek.
Happy Weekend, gang! Be excellent to each other. I’ll be seeing some of you in about an hour!
Woah, #1 comment? Thank you guys! Today is a good day! I won money for a paper I wrote! I’m seeing Neil Young tonight! Exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!
One more long post, Sorry I got these all in right now but I gots to go so here’s the last: I don’t know what to say really.
One week
to the biggest Monsters’ Ball of our Monster lives
all comes down to today.
Either
we heal
as a team
or we are going to crumble.
Comment by comment
gif by play
till we’re finished.
We are in hell right now, monsters
believe me
and
we can stay here
and get the shit kicked out of us
or
we can fight our way
back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One upvote, at a time.
Now I can’t do it for you.
I’m too old.
I look around and I see these young faces
and I think
I mean
I made every wrong choice a seasoned commentator could make.
I uh….
I posted wrong links to pictures
believe it or not.
I chased off
anyone who has ever upvoted me.
And lately,
I can’t even stand the face I see in my avatar.
You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That’s, that’s part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is commenting.
Because in either game
life or commenting
the margin for error is so small.
I mean
one half step too late
you plagiarize commentate
One half second too fast
and you don’t quite read the post.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game
every minute, every second.
On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that’s going to make the fucking difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.
I’ll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.
Now I can’t make you do it.
You gotta look at the monster next to you.
Look into their eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a monster
who will sacrifice himself for this site
because he knows when it comes down to it,
you are gonna do the same thing for them.
That’s a team, monsters
and either we heal now, as a team,
or we will die as individuals.
That’s monstering guys.
That’s all it is.
Now, whattaya gonna do?
who is that? is that Leeton Meister or whatever her name is?
No, it’s Blair Waldorf.
wwwwwhhhhuuuuuuutttt!!!????
You guuuuyyyysssss a woman I work with just got back from Stockholm and was wearing a shirt that says “I <3 Stockholm" and I laughed and laughed and laughed and everyone thought I was crazy and then I found out that not one single person in my workplace of about 30 people, INCLUDING a girl with a degree in Psychology, has ever heard of Stockholm syndrome before!! I did not know this was possible. But most importantly, "I <3 Stockholm" is the funniest shirt I've seen since the "Mercutio Drew First" shirt that I'm going to wear to Shakespeare in the park.
R2′s choice for this week is a comment by hotspur, because he always tells the best stories. It’s a great comment and you should read it!
http://videogum.com/563591/today-we-are-all-orson-welles/where-were-they-then/comment-page-1/#comment-9462592
I love Gary.
I’m a fan of Patrick M’s comment, mostly because Gary is so damn funny. http://videogum.com/563591/today-we-are-all-orson-welles/where-were-they-then/comment-page-1/#comment-9463682
Yeah, I won #1! and I get to see Neil Young tonight!
Keep on rockin’ in the free world!
I posted this on another post, but I want to post it hear so everybody has another chance to see it. I think it’s important. Especially if you are interested in seeing how poorly the Chick fil a workers were treated, and not just by the homophobes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thNqs9fPcgM&feature=player_embedded
Have a great Olympics weekend everyone!!!
And don’t forget that after the sports are over, a wonderful crime drama-comedy will start airing on NBC!! It is called Grimm and it is very entertaining!
Had a weird dream that this girl I know lifted up her skirt and showed me how the flesh in the inside chunk of her right thigh all the way down to her calf had been cut out and replaced with chocolate ice cream cake and chocolate chunk bits. She wanted me to eat it.
Way gross, Steve Pornwood.
kind of like that tom petty music video where alice in wonderland is a cake and they’re going to eat her up, you remember that one or is that before your time?
You must have me confused with young man fatima.
HEY! Don’t come around HERE no MORE.
Happy weekend everyone and congrats ballers! And Happy Birthday Gabe! Enjoy!
and think about this this weekend:
FUCK me. KILL ME. Please. HOW THE fuck did we ever come to this–the bastardization AND TRANSFORMATION OF a feeling of spirituality, that which represented OUR OWN human ability TO MOVE THROUGH art, scripture, OR OTHER MEDIUMS to empathize with EACH OTHER across time and BOUNDARIES that theologians AND PHILOSOPHERS much smarter than I have come TO BELIEVE IS RELIGION, OTHERS “freedom,” or many other NAMES, INTO a fucking excuse TO STUFF OUR fat fucking FACES with only recently unfrozen CHICKEN patties all while PROCLAIMING THE presence of SOME GOD (certainly not ONE I’D claim to have FELT) in between the holes of SOME FUCKING WAFFLE fries and the arrhythmic SOUND of chewing CUDS punctuated only BY THE further sullying OF SONGS that represent a ROMANTIC IDEAL THESE motherfuckers can’t even begin TO UNDERSTAND.
FUCK.
Large amounts of sugar and fat negatively impact the brain. The most obese regions of the U.S. are in the southeast, e.g. Mississippi, Alabama, the Carolinas, and other places I’m not in the mood to research and possibly Florida, which are popularly known for high rates of evangelical religiosity. I’m not saying this is the reason, but when I am saddened by the actions of some people in this world this sounds more scientific than “all people are guaranteed to be selfish and idiots.”
welcome to the future… we are so deeply fucked.
happy birthday Gabe
Is that Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia the tv show?
GUYS. I KNOW it’s the weekend and NO ONE wants to get real RIGHT NOW other than REAL FUCKED up, but holy shit, Y’ALL, I don’t know IF I’M GONNA make it through to NOVEMBER. STRAIGHT fuckin equal parts ANGRY AND depressed.
what about? do you hate Obammy that much? why dont you chill out and remember the Clinton Dole nonsense from the mid 90s and take a chill pill
I’M TALKING about the ludicrous FUCKIN circus and orgy that POLITICS+THE media+STUPIDITY has become.
THIS IS MY FIRST TIME IN THE BALL! Thank you, thank you everyone, thank you CEO of Crown Publishing, thank you Hamlet and Francis Bacon, and thank you Kelly. I know I might have disappointed you Kelly, but I think this information is important and knowledge is power and you learn something new every day and whatever.
Is it time I get off this facebook connect thing and make a username like a real monster? Apparently, facebook connect is disliked in this community, WHO KNEW.
Congrats on your first Ball!!! I am very grateful, if also very disappointed, to find out the truth about mini pigs.
Happy weekend and happy birthday to everyone, but especially Gabe!
Thread of the week.