Kelly: Hello Gabe
Kelly: How’s it going?
Gabe: hey kelly
Gabe: i’m feeling HOT HOT HOT
Gabe: i’m feeling HOT HOT HOT
Kelly: Uh-oh! Hot stuff over here!
Gabe: inappropriate
Gabe: go to HR and hand in your resignation
Kelly: IT WAS WORTH IT, GOODNIGHT!
Kelly: Can I ask you one question though before I leave
Kelly: please please please please please
Gabe: it depends
Gabe: is it wildly inappropriate?
Kelly: Well if it being wildly inappropriate is a problem I can think of a new question
Kelly: Would that be ok then?
Gabe: SECURITY!
Kelly: NO WAIT
Gabe: escort this woman from the blog
Kelly: ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS
Kelly: WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE GREATEST FILM EVER MADE?
Gabe: oh, easy
Gabe: Citizen Kane
Gabe: definitely, hands down
Gabe: no bones about it

Kelly: Hah! I can see how you’d think that, and for the last 50 years you would’ve been right, but actually according to this year’s Sight & Sound poll the answer is Vertigo.
Kelly: Sorry! You were very close.
Gabe: that doesn’t sound right
Gabe: what is the Sight and Sound poll?
Kelly: It’s a poll that the London-based film magazine Sight & Sound has published every ten years since 1952 on which movie is the greatest movie of all time
Kelly: Duh
Kelly: I thought you liked movies?
Gabe: i love movies
Gabe: i HATE polls
Kelly: Ooohh that explains it then
Gabe: hard to believe that citizen kane finally got knocked down from its number one spot by that up and comer, VERTIGO
Gabe: our thoughts and prayers are with the ghosts of the friends and relatives of the ghost of Orson Welles on this difficult day
Gabe: everyone who ever even saw Citizen Kane is dead, right?
Kelly: Oh definitely
Gabe: that movie is like The Ring
Gabe: except that everyone who watches it
Gabe: dies within 100 years

Kelly: hahaha
Gabe: what a good poll
Gabe: who is responding to this poll?
Kelly: EVERYBODY!
Kelly: 846 critics and 358 directors
Gabe: this cannot possibly be a real poll
Kelly: including
Kelly: like
Kelly: woody allen
Kelly: and also quentin tarantino
Gabe: haha
Gabe: those two
Gabe: you think they get brunch together?
Gabe: and talk about the oldest movies they can think of?
Gabe: “ooh, good one, Quentin, that movie is very old.”
Gabe: “here is another old movie I will name.”
Kelly: “Aaahh, what is this, brunch? Aaaah brunch, what is brunch?”
Kelly: That’s my Woody Allen impression
Gabe: it’s terrible
Gabe: and somehow anti-semitic i think?
Kelly: Oh puh-leeze
Kelly: But anyway yeah I do think that they go to brunch together and talk about that
Gabe: what is the point of a poll
Gabe: that not a single person could possibly care
Gabe: about the outcome of the poll?
Gabe: THIS. CHANGES. NOTHING!
Kelly: How dare you diminish this moment for Vertigo
Kelly: Vertigo has been standing in the shadow of Citizen Kane since it came in #2 for greatest film in the Sight & Sound poll 10 years ago
Kelly: And today, on its big day, you say NO ONE CARES?
Gabe: ptooey
Gabe: i spit on this poll
Gabe: besides, everyone knows The Avengers in IMAX 3D is the greatest movie of all time

Kelly: It’s weird how that didn’t even make the top 10
Kelly: Clueless isn’t in there either which seems like an oversight
Gabe: what about the Total Recall remake?
Gabe: i know it’s not out yet
Gabe: but
Gabe: i feel like people knew about it when they were responding to the poll
Kelly: Yeah definitely
Gabe: also The Hunger Games
Gabe: is very popular
Gabe: which means it’s great
Kelly: also when 50 Shades of Grey is going to be a movie
Kelly: Where’s that?
Gabe: well, in 10 years
Gabe: when they exhume everyone’s corpse
Gabe: and ask all the skeletons to name the greatest movies
Gabe: i think there are going to be some changes for sure
Gabe: 1. The Avengers in IMAX 3D
Gabe: 2. 50 Shades of Gray 3
Gabe: 3. The Avengers 2 in IMAX 3D
Gabe: 4. The Wire
Kelly: hahah
Kelly: Ugh I can’t wait for that list, that is a list I can definitely get behind
Kelly: Better than this sleepy garbage
Gabe: that’s going to be the other big news story of the day
Gabe: “2022: Film & Sound releases it’s list of the greatest movies ever made, The Avengers replaces Forrest Gump for #1″
Gabe: “In related news, Kelly Conaboy finally gets behind the list!”
Gabe: “Just one decade after not being able to get behind the list, Kelly Conaboy gets behind the list. ‘This is a list I can get behind,’ said Conaboy from the unemployment line.”
Kelly: “In more related news, who is Gabe Delahaye? I don’t remember, do you? All I remember is that he died 10 years ago of old age but that’s it, I can’t remember anything else.”
Kelly: “All we can find is this photograph”

Gabe: RUDE
Kelly: IT’S NOT ME IT’S JUST THE NEWS
Gabe: 100 percent of people polled agreed
Gabe: you are rude
Gabe: you are #1 greatest rude
Kelly: Well I polled myself and agreed that you started it and you are actually the #1 greatest rude
Kelly: So
Kelly: :( I’M SORRY NOW I FEEL BAD
Gabe: YOU SHOULD
Kelly: WELL I DO AND I APOLOGIZE, I’M SURE YOU WILL NOT DIE OF OLD AGE THIS YEAR
Gabe: WELL NOW YOU HAVE CURSED ME
Gabe: I HOPE YOU LIVE FOREVER
Kelly: NO!
Gabe: YEAH!
Kelly: THAT IS A MUCH WORSE CURSE!
Gabe: I HOPE YOU LIVE FOREVER AND NEVER DIE BUT ALWAYS KNOWING THAT YOU CURSED ME
Kelly: NO GABE NO!!!!!!!
Kelly: My one consolation
Kelly: Is that I will forever know which movie got the top spot in the Sight and Sound poll
Kelly: I will pray it to you every 10 years so you know, too
Kelly: And so that one day my curse may finally be broken
Gabe: every ten years when some movies that nobody cares about are placed in an order that doesn’t mean anything
Gabe: that is when i will return to haunt you
Kelly: :( It will be nice to see you

Comments (60)
  1. I’m surprised Howard The Duck didn’t make the 2022 list, AT LEAST. 80′s movies really set the bar high for movies after this masterpiece came out.

  2. Everyone knows it’s a tie between Mary Poppins and Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Gotta have music to be number one.

  3. Can I please get the Real top 8 movies of all time? thank you in advance.

  4. And yet again, Biodome goes unrecognized.

  5. re: Gabe and Kelly, haha, nailed it!

  6. Citizen Kane isn’t even the best Orson Welles movie. It’s got to get in line behind Touch of Evil and F is for Fake. I mean, what other documentarian would order a steak au poivre while narrating his film? A genius, that’s who!

    • Also The Third Man! Though I have to admit – I haven’t seen Citizen Kane. Does that mean I have more than 100 years to live or is that a logical fallacy?

    • F for Fake is pretty great! I love that scene where Welles is having dinner with some pals. Not only does he order steak au poivre but clearly he’s eaten an entree already! Round 2! Plus the fact that he’s totally messing with you throughout the the film.

      • I should have added. F for Fake shows that Welles has gotta be at the top of the list of famous people dead or alive that would be awesome to hang out with. Most famouses I don’t think I’d want to have dinner with but Welles and select few I would. Ultimate dinner party guest list of famous people.

        1. Orson Welles
        2. Tom Waits
        3. Bill Murray
        4. Winston Churchill
        5. J.R.R. Tolkien
        6. Neal Stephenson
        7. Stephen Fry
        8. David Mitchell (Peep Show not the novelist)
        Maaaaybe Paul F. Tompkins

  7. vertigo is a really good movie tho

  8. i like vertigo and i like these friendly chats almost as much as i liked hunt for the worst movie of all time

  9. I love Vertigo, by the way. It is one of my favorite movies. I have the poster up in my house, and it clashes with the green paint but I don’t even care. Thank you, poll, for validating my choices.

  10. I would also watch a movie called Escort This Woman From the Blog. I would probably vote for it in a poll.

  11. Clearly, U2′s song pushed Vertigo over the top.

  12. I’m still waiting to find out what the worst movie of all time is GABE!

  13. What!? Jack and Jill didn’t make this list?!

  14. Oh man, I was so bummed that there was no chat posted yesterday, but this was totally worth the wait!

  15. I think it finally took #1 because of how The Artist defiled it. Sympathy vote.

  16. Apparently pre-1930s movies were the fucking bomb, since they make of 30% of the top 10.

  17. Top 10 Movies of All-TIme based on the poll conducted by College Dorm Magazine

    1. Blow
    2. Boondock Saints
    3. Anchorman
    4. Goodfellas
    5. Boiler Room
    6. the Shawshank Redemption
    7. Happy Gilmore
    8. Wedding Crashers
    9. The Hangover
    10. The Magnificent Ambersons

  18. I always thought Rear Window, North by Northwest, Rope, Psycho, Strangers on a Train, and probably others, are all so much better than Vertigo, which gets creepy in an awkward way and slows down a lot in the second half.

    And Lady from Shanghai is better than Kane.

    Now you know!

  19. So I had to take my puppy to a faraway vet today, and since I’m in California I missed like the WHOLE DAY of Videogum, and it was like the BEST DAY? UGH. Lively political discussion! Amazing lady-boner-killing Ryan Lochte clip! Amazing lady-boner-resurrecting Idris Elba photo! I’m happy I at least made it in time for THE BEST Gabe/Kelly chat in recent memory! I LOVE THIS BLOG, PLEASE NEVER CALL SECURITY ON ME GABE.

  20. My best movies ever list is way more funny than their list for sure:

    1. Annie Hall
    2. Groundhog Day
    3. This Is Spinal Tap
    4. Toy Story
    5. The Truman Show
    6. The Big Lebowski
    7. Tampopo
    8. Back To The Future 1 and 2
    9. Being There
    10. The Princess Bride

    After watching the Sight & Sound poll winners, you may feel a sudden urge to hang yourself. After watching my list, you may feel a sudden urge for PIZZA!!

  21. Any list of the best movie ever made should include at least three Coen Brothers movies, and none of those should be A Serious Man. Because that movie was not in any way a good movie.

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