Poor, ruined Hollywood baby Lindsay Lohan is in “the news” today for what some are calling a bizarre request she made of the crew while filming a sex scene for her recent project, The Canyons. OH GOODIE TELL ME MORE. From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan was EXTREMELY hesitant to shoot a steamy sex scene for her new movie “The Canyons” last week — but we’re told, she quickly changed her mind … after the crew fulfilled an extremely unusual request.

Sources connected with production tell TMZ, the scene required Lindsay to go topless — but she was so uncomfortable with the idea of baring her bosom in front of the set’s 10-man crew, she asked them to strip down with her … to their boxers.

The crew was hesitant at first — but according to sources, they eventually obliged, stripping down and shooting the entire scene in their skivvies … and it all went off without a hitch.

Obviously, everyone in the news biz is talking about this because HOW DARE SHE? Everyone with eyes and the Internet or a magazine has seen her naked already, so why should she feel uncomfortable getting undressed around ten male crew members? Just because ALMOST EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WOULD? Gimmeabreakaboutit. What is upsetting, though, is that I don’t feel like she took enough time in her plan for feeling comfortable in the situation. The guys just have to be in boxers? Use your head, grrrrrrl! Here are a few ideas for next time:

- Everyone else on set has to have sex for real while she’s having sex for fake.
- No one is allowed to breathe, beginning when she takes her top off and ending when she puts her top back on.
- Men In Black neuralyzers after every take for everyone.
- A book of compliments gets passed around set after the scene is filmed and everyone has to write something in it about how Lindsay looked nice, but nothing too specific that it seems like they’re REALLY remembering it.
- Crew members have to make sex noises while filming all non-sex scenes.
- Everyone has to bring Lindsay a small, homemade gift so she feels appreciated.
- Everyone has to wear the mask of a different president and NO ONE gets to be Obama.
- Crew has to learn a cappella version of Lindsay’s favorite Misfits song and sing it as quietly as possible during the take.
- Lindsay gets to point out one of the flaws of each crew member in front of everyone and then laugh for as long as she wants.
- Sirens go off if anyone gets a boner even slightly, NOT TO BE CRUDE.

Now we’re thinking!

Comments (22)
  1. Demon pe…Daemon pelem lup….Daemon pellem lupim–Fuck it, I quit.

  2. From now on, the crews for all movies must be half men and half women.

  3. “I don’t know why you guys are so against this idea, Terry Richardson always volunteered to take his clothes off.”

  4. If Lindsay is shooting a nude scene in a billiard hall, everyone in the crew has to bring her an 8-Ball.

  5. She was just recreating the same scene from Cracks in the Shell (Die Unsichtbare), right?

  6. She just needs to tell herself that at least she’s not shooting that one scene from Requiem For A Dream. You know the one.

  7. You don’t even want to know what the Human Centipede cast demanded.

  8. It’s so full of sarcasm, but “poor, ruined Hollywood baby Lindsay Lohan” is also just so, so true.

  9. Whatevs, she’s just more comfortable in a room full of dudes with visible boners.

  10. “Lindsay gets to point out one of the flaws of each crew member in front of everyone and then laugh for as long as she wants.”

    LOLZ! But seriously, this is just terrific. Great idea, Kelly.

  11. From now on, all male crew members must be Terry Richardson.

  12. If this was anyone else, it would be a charming, funny story from the set. But since it’s Lindsay Lohan, the preexisting narrative is one of the out-of-control washed-up starlet being crazy.

    There’s a nearly identical story (can’t remember those involved) in which a well-known actress wouldn’t do a nude scene unless the director also stripped. If anyone remembers who this was, my brain will stop itching and I will be eternally in your favor*.

    *Give you an upvote.

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