Hey, so you know the rumor — like, the BIG rumor? I mean, I guess a more direct question would be: Have you talked to anyone lately? On gchat or even in person, if possible? If so you’ve probably heard the news that Emma Watson was most likely going to be cast in the girl role of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie adaptation. AHHHHHHHH, right? I know! OUR DREAM COME TRUE! An actress from when she was a baby in Harry Potter in the role of a girl in a sex movie based on a fad book for older women! “I thought science DIDN’T know how to produce reality from eyelash wishes yet,” we all thought. And unfortunately I am here to report that science apparently does NOT. From EW:

The Internet got all sorts of excited last week when rumors began to surface that Emma Watson was in talks for the role of Anastasia Steele in the film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. Not so fast, says Watson. “I haven’t read the book, I haven’t a read a script, nothing,” Watson tells EW. “There are so many movies you become attached to when I’ve literally never even received a phone call. It was the same way with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo – I never even saw a script!”

HASN’T EVEN READ THE BOOK? NEVER SAW A SCRIPT FOR GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO? It’s like you can’t believe anything you read on websites anymore these days. I’m so sorry about having to break the news to you like this, but here are some other rumors to hold you over — each about as true as the rumor you just lost. “Emma Watson To Play Ms. Santa In Bad Santa 2.” “Emma Watson To Play ‘Expert’ In Rush Hour 4.” “Emma Watson To Take Break, Focus On Family.” “Emma Watson Tapped For Swann’s Way 3D Adaptation.” DO YOU FEEL BETTER NOW? I hope so. Try to have a good afternoon if possible! I’m so sorry, again!

Comments (38)
  1. Who cares about that? I just want to know if she’s DTF!

  2. More like 50 Shades of Naysaying.

  3. Yes, but what does her inner goddess think about this?

  4. Has anyone seriously read this thing? I read part of it out of curiosity, and it has to have some of the worst writing I’ve ever encountered. It’s kind of incredible.

  5. Another male masseuse claims Watson groped him!

  6. I am getting seriously concerned that there is some sort of photographer conspiracy to make celebrities do ridiculous things with their hands.

  7. Accio rumormill!

  8. Though based on the picture, it surely looks like she’s been rehearsing that crazy wild peep-through-an-asshole s&m sex thingy.

  9. Lorelei Gilmore is Mrs. Santa’s Sister, so the role of Ms. Santa should be up for grabs. #fingerscrossed

  10. Emma Watson in Tyler Perry’s House of Potter

  11. wait, the main character’s name is ANASTASIA STEELE???????

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