10. He loves coffee flavored yogurt.
9. His best friend is a cat burglar.
8. He wants to sew your grandma’s mouth shut.
7. He runs the bath for terrorists so it will be ready when they get home.
6. He wants to eat everyone’s pets.
5. His face actually belongs to someone else and he used Face/Off technology to steal it.
4. Michelle Obama hates the American smell of fresh laundry.
3. His favorite song is “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Wiser.
2. He wants to give our money to one of those “homeless” crusty punks who doesn’t seem like he/she is actually homeless.
1. America!

So that’s 20 reasons now. (Via GotchaMedia.)

Comments (77)
  1. The number 1 reason not to vote for Barack Obama is the same as the number 1 reason not to vote for Mitt Romney: You’re 6 years old.

  2. You know, I hate to be debbie downer, but I’m not convinced that this child’s qualifications as a political analyst are entirely legit.

  3. 10. He is the reason there are no more WMOAT posts.
    9. He started the “What people think I do, what I really do…” meme.
    8. He is the Downvote Troll.
    7. Amelia is his favorite movie.
    6. He hates corgis.
    5. He has Chet Haze on his workout playlist.
    4. He wants less sand.
    3. He thinks Breaking Bad jumped the shark around the end of season 2.
    2. He never watches the Petting Zoo.
    1. He has a Muse google alert.

  4. I watched this with no sound, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what the reasons were based on teh visuals:

    1. He doesn’t believe that I chopped down all those trees by myself
    2. He thinks that this little girl shouldn’t have to pay me $10 for putting a bandaid on her knee
    3. He wants to make it illegal for me to marry this baby
    4. He prefers peanut butter and bacon bits to peanut butter and jelly
    5. He wants to force me to wear a seatbelt at all times like some kind of wimp
    6. He is a cat person
    7. He is trying to deny me the right to protect my barbed wire fence with my airgun
    8. He doesn’t think that this low camera angle makes me look like a hero
    9. He wants to make it legal for these two male action figures to marry each other
    10. He doesn’t know how to hang a map of the world straight

  5. Number 1 reason I hate this video: This kid’s parents are clearly assholes.

  6. Aww the outtakes are so cute! Just kidding. They highlight how horrid this kid’s parents are.

    Also…he lets BAD GUYS into our country and wants to take guns away from GOOD GUYS? And #1 is the BIRTHER ARGUMENT? This is tongue in cheek, right? Like, the people behind it are totally awful people who think illegal aliens are ruining the country but this video is sort of meant as a “joke,” right?

  7. also, the image of a 6 year-old with a gun is actually a decent argument FOR gun control of some sort.

  8. I’m not voting for Obama because he’s too nice to give this kid the wedgie he CLEARLY deserves.

  9. what bad people does obama let into the country little racist shit? or are you just referring to immigrants as “bad people?” if i had my chancla i would throw it at this kid.

  10. Aren’t babies pretty much burdens by definition? Not that we should get rid of babies or that people don’t love their babies, but they are definitely a burden.

    • What did Obama do that was remotely interpretable as saying “babies are burdens”? I can’t think of a single–

      ZOMG, wait–is that a reference to how the Supreme Court ruled abortion legal in 1973??


      Although, if you’re 6, I guess 12 seems pretty old.

      • I think he said something about if one of his daughters got pregnant in high school the baby would be a burden, which, duh, it totally would be. The people making a thing about it want to both deny the girl the option of having an abortion and stop her from getting welfare and food stamps if she does have the baby. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but they’ve been saying it for decades.

        George Carlin said back in the ’80s “they’ll do anything for the unborn, but once you’re born [raises middle finger] you’re on your own…”



        • You know, I don’t really get this trend of conservatives making up shit to be upset about. I tried to joke about it downthread, but I have so little sense of humor about it, I can’t stop myself from commenting here too.

          I recently did a lot of emailing with a Republican friend who was out of his mind about how Obama said “If you have a business, you didn’t build that.” So I showed him the full quote, including the part where Obama said individual initiative was key to success–and my GOP friend then agreed the upsetting quote therefore didn’t mean AT ALL what he’d thought it meant when he got angry about it–but he was still upset that Obama said it.

          At that point, what?!? “It still demonstrates that Obama has socialist instincts.” Which–wait–WHAT? HOW? You just said it DIDN’T mean anything like that, and you agreed it was basically the same thing Romney said two days later. Now you’re saying even though Obama clearly didn’t mean what you thought he meant, you’re still going to hate him for what you thought he meant? IT MAKES NO SENSE AND I HATE IT.

          • Ugh, your friend sounds dumb. I bet they share this video on facebook.

            The Democrats do that kind of selective editing too, it’s just that Republicans are way better at it.

          • Well, thanks for insulting him, I guess?

            The thing about it is, he’s really, really smart. That’s why I bother emailing him on politics.

            And he was no fan of Bush. So he never tried to selectively-edit Bush into greatness.

            But there is a blind spot where he will react with anger to Obama (evidently) saying, “When a girl who’s 15 has a baby, that’s a burden,” instead of reacting with, “Jesus, that is irrefutably TRUE.” It’s a weird, weird blind spot.

          • In your friend’s defense, MARY WAS A VERY YOUNG TEENAGER so… JESUS.

          • And if you don’t think explaining to your husband that you’re still a virgin even though you’re pregnant isn’t a burden…

  11. I KNOW it’s not his fault at this point in his life and he’ll figure it out when he grows up (or won’t and then it WILL be his fault,) but smug little kids make me so angry.

  12. Don’t let the government control your audio levels!

  13. “In five years we’ll all either be working for him… or be dead by his hand.” – Jack Donaghy

  14. You could have blown me over with a feather when I realized the kids’ dad drove a 4X4, WHAT WERE THE ODDS???

  15. that’s Sixpence None The RICHER, you history’s greatest monster!

  16. Expect to see this child on Fox & Friends within the week.

    • oh, most definitely. those dingbats love having babies on the show to discuss politics. which, frankly, if your analysis is being provided by someone who just graduated from kindergarten, you really need to think about how well thought out your positions are. it doesn’t make you look that smart.

    • How would you tell the difference?

  17. Number six? Don’t even get me started on number six…

    I’m really happy this kid is pro-mining for oil and coal. As someone who is staring down a very real probability that mined coal will be transported through my community six times a day in proposed open-air rail cars — that even our power company is contesting — so that mining conglomerates in Montana can find a market in China (because all of this is getting shipped to China), assholes like this piss me off to no extent.

    PGE’s concerns about coal dust and air quality are echoed by residents along train routes from Montana and Wyoming’s Powder River Basin mines to the ports. For the Kinder Morgan project, trains would run through the Columbia River Gorge and north Portland before heading on tracks paralleling U.S. 30 up to Port Westward.

    The $150 million to $200 million project would provide 80 full-time jobs and $3.7 million a year in property taxes, Kinder Morgan says. Port officials say discussions have focused on exporting 15 million tons of coal a year in a first phase, with potential for another 15 million tons in a second phase.

    So it will take 60 years for this project to even pay for itself, only 80 jobs will be created and the INSANE amount of air pollution caused to residents (including me and my dog) isn’t even factored in consideration? GREAT IDEA. I guess the good news is that it isn’t a sure thing yet, and protesting will still actually make a difference???

    Fuck these people. Fuck these anti-clean-air-initiative people and their idiotic children who will actually live to see their asshole parents’ actions’ consequences.

  18. I can’t wait for the director’s cut of this to surface where reason #1 is ‘He’s Black’

  19. It must be fun being conservative. If you can’t find any real reasons to dislike Obama, all you have to do is pretend he did a bunch of stuff he never did, and hate him for that. Party on, assholes!

  20. He takes money from people who work hard and gives it to people who don’t work at all? OBAMA IS THE TOOTH FAIRY!

  21. Republican’s keep mixing up when something is “so obvious even a child could see it” and when it’s “so stupid only a child would believe it.”

  22. ugh, i can’t wait until obama wins re-election and he finally makes good on his promise to round up all these patriot folks into concentration camps so i can finally get some peace of mind.

    • I’m looking forward to the mandatory gay marriages for all!

    • Personally I’m excited about the death panels! Under Obamacare, starting in 2014 we have to report to a Death Panel at the end of every year–even if we voted for him!–and they review what we did that year to decide if we live another year. You guys, I’m finally going to be so productive!

      • I already filed an extension on that. Form DP77 — I get extra six months to kill my kidneys a little more so it’s cheaper for them to just let me ride it out.

        • If I have a lazy or drunken year, I’ll just go on foodstamps. According to Obamacare Section 112, Paragraph 99, the Death Panel has to make sure you live if you’re on foodstamps.

          • You can’t get alcohol with foodstamps. You’ll have to grow medical marijuana for children and use that cash to pay for your booze. Didn’t you read the fine print in subsection M, clause 420.2 amendment B12?

          • Hmmm, I was counting on my medical-marijuana-for-children profits to pay for the mandatory conversion of my car to Solyndra Power. Well, maybe I’ll make do by following the procedure outlined in Volume XIX, Chapter 78, Footnote 32, Subfootnote 6, “Application for Official Training to Be a Terrorist in The War on Christmas.” It comes with a $200 per diem for life, a free house, a Cadillac, an autographed photo of Sean Penn, and no suicide bombing is required in the first 3 years.

  23. What is #8?! He thinks babies are perverted?

  24. Well if a six-year-old says so, I probably shouldn’t vote for Obama. I mean, six years of learned wisdom is hard to argue with.

  25. He has to be elected because otherwise this nation will prove that once you go black you can go back. And that’s just not realistic!

  26. I wonder how he feels about Kid President.

  27. This kid is going to grow up so gay. I’m calling it – holla at your boy in at least 12 years, you little dish you.

  28. 6-Year-Old Boy Will Give You “10 Reasons NOT to vote for Barack Obama” on watch?v=VS0jhoWhqI8&feature=plcp

  29. 6 YEAR OLD BOY WILL GIVE YOU 10 REASONS NOT TO VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS0jhoWhqI8&feature=plcp

  30. I was on the fence about abortion, but…. uh… yeah. Seeing this kid I think maybe it’s not the worst idea.
    heh… his parent’s messed him up real good.

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