This week is SNOB WEEK over in Movie Trailer town. We’ve got a trailer for The Life of Pi AND Cloud Atlas. Michiko Kakutani gives these trailers FOUR STARS. I heard Leonard Lopate is going to interview these trailers on NPR today and ask them about GAY MARRIAGE! There’s also a movie with Lizzy Caplan, and some other movies, and most importantly a very very good looking DANCE BATTLE MOVIE, which, like, at what point do we just agree that every movie should be a dance battle movie and get on with it already? Oh well. Let’s at least get on with this already:

Life of Pi

I hated this book and what the hell is this movie? It looks like The Lonely Bones but with less child-rape-murder and more CGI tigers. Blugh.

Man of Steel

The rebooted Zak Snyder Superman movie doesn’t come out for a whole year, but until then we have this beautiful Levi’s commercial. Buy Levi’s.

Bachelorette

This looks good! It’s like OUR generation’s Bridesmaids. Seriously, though, people get lazy with comparisons and that is a very easy and obvious comparison to make but this looks good. Right? Right.

Battle of the Year

It is sad for this trailer that the trailer for Battlefield America came out first, because otherwise this would be the best trailer ever. Are you even serious right now? A dance battle movie that takes place in a PRISON where the retired, alcoholic, down on his luck coach is played by SAWYER and also he is a DANCE BATTLE COACH THOUGH? I will never forgive or accept Chris Brown back into my heart after all of the horrible things he has done, but if anything could ever have made me forgive or accept him back into my heart, this would have been it. A for effort. Stay in jail, though, dude.

The Oranges

Sure! Why not? My close, personal, I would say best friend in the whole world is in it, Alia Shawkat. Also: Dr. House fucks Blair Waldorf? DOES CHUCK OR SOME RELEVANT CHARACTER FROM HOUSE BECAUSE I’VE NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN HOUSE KNOW ABOUT THIS?!

Jack and Diane

What? Wait. What?

About Cherry

No thanks! The movie looks totally fine and it’s got James Franco in it and the shadowy underworld of porn is a totally reasonable thing to explore in a film but I’m just, personally, going to say no thanks but good luck to you and your movie!

Cloud Atlas

Cloud Atlas was a good book. You should read Cloud Atlas! I feel like David Mitchell’s jigsaw puzzle maze fiction is sometimes a little too overwrought and a little too “a-ha!” for my taste, but I did think Cloud Atlas was nice. And this movie looks “moving” and “pretty” and has lots of good actors in it and love and fate and all that. But maybe just read the book, huh?

Comments (45)
  1. Cloud Atlas is so good! I have high hopes for the movie, which probably means that I doomed it to sucktown. Sorry everyone. I’m why we can’t have nice things.

    • I loved the book, and the movie seems pretty at least? Though I’m not sure how they’re going to fit all the story into a 3 hour (?) movie. I’d watch a nested mini-series. Also, read number9dream, everyone!

      • Read Black Swan Green too!

        • Yes!! Read everything by David Mitchell, but Black Swan Green first!

        • I liked Black Swan Green but not as much. There were great parts, but it didn’t stick with me in the same way. Child narrator, maybe? (I do have this quote on my Facebook page: “If you show someone something you’ve written, you give them a sharpened stake, lie down in your coffin, and say, ‘When you’re ready.’”)

      • I loved number9dream! Although his latest, The Thousand Autumns of Jakob de Zoet, is my favorite of his. It was such a great story. He’s best when obsessing over Japanese culture, I think.

        • Yes, GREAT BOOK!

        • His writing is always fantastic, but I didn’t love that one. I thought the love story was uninteresting and kind of baseless (like Orito was awesome, but Jacob didn’t know that when he fell for her), and then we were supposed to start caring about this gouty captain who was introduced like 2/3 of the way through? Because he had a red-head son who died? Some of the parts I enjoyed most were probably the most low-brow parts, like the very gothic/sensational shrine storyline.

          Anyway. I think part of this might also be that I’m an Asian woman and the white man falling in love at almost first sight with a flawed but beautiful Japanese flower didn’t really do anything for me. I did love the writing, though. That opening birth scene was intense.

          • That’s some very careful reasoning not to care for the book. I respect that. I was just swept up in the language, the setting, and the characters. Loved all the stuff in the shrine.

            It’s great that there’s a lot of fans of David Mitchell here, yet we all like different books. I didn’t much care for Black Swan Green, for example. But at least we can agree that number9dream is brilliant with its crazy Yakuza mobster storyline and ominous repetition. Great stuff.

          • Yes! He’s a really brilliant writer. Even the books that I didn’t like as much were well worth reading.

    • I feel like at worst it will be a really interesting mess. Right, Tom?

      • Hmm, now I’ve watched the trailer I am not very impressed. The book doesn’t bonk you on the head over and over and over and over and over ad infinitum about the “thesis.” Having the same actors play all the characters seems both too on-point and also sort of missing the point. It’s not about literal reincarnation, after all.

    • I’m going to have to read the book before I see the movie, but was anyone else disappointed when they googled Cloud Atlas and saw that it wasn’t written by David Mitchell of Peep Show and That Mitchell & Webb Look?

    • Even if the movie turns out to be not the greatest, we’ll always have this amazing trailer. I have never been this excited for a film promising so much crazy Tom Hanks hair.

  2. There was a rumor years ago that Jean-Pierre Jeunet (sp?) (the guy who did Amelie) was going to do a Life of Pi movie. I read the book because I like a lot. I think that would have been a lot better. Because that trailer was not very good. In my opinion.

    O my goodness when will this day be over.

    • I like that director a lot***.

      Look I am going to blame my useless comments on mercury being in retrograde. Did you guys know mercury is in retrograde? It totally is.

  3. I loved Life of Pi, but that movies looks straight up bad. Why did they need to make it look like everything is made of candy?

  4. I completely forgot about Man of Steel when I went to see Dark Knight Rises, it was a pleasant surprise, though I can’t tell if it’s the “alien trying to find his place in the world” theme that got to me or Gandalf’s “death” music.

    • THAT MUSIC. So funny! I kept expecting someone to say, “Give them a moment for pity’s sake!” “By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs!”

      • HA! I’m not the only one who thought of LOTR. All I could think of through that whole trailer is how I wanted to punch Frodo’s weepy little face.

      • I listened to the full song online just to get it out of my head and midway through the video I hear Frodo yell “GANDAAAALF! NOOOOOOOO!” I laughed myself silly.

  5. HENRY & CASEY! I love Lizzy Kaplan even though she gets to make out with Adam Scott. (Less jealous that she gets to make out with Matthew Perry, but if you’d asked me when I was in high school, I might have had a different opinion, though not that different.)

  6. Woah, why is Dr. House sleeping with Blair Waldorf?

  7. Bachelorette: “We’re all unlikable assholes!”

    Jack & Diane: No John Mellencamp song? WTF?

  8. from imdb: “Jack and Diane, two teenage girls, meet in New York City and spend the night kissing ferociously. Diane’s charming innocence quickly begins to open Jack’s tough skinned heart. But, when Jack discovers that Diane is leaving the country in a week she tries to push her away. Diane must struggle to keep their love alive while hiding the secret that her newly awakened sexual desire is giving her werewolf-like visions”

    makes sense. clears it all up, right? right.

  9. Eh, at least they didn’t make Pi a white kid.

  10. I vaguely remember us making fun of James Franco’s line “I do exist.” This movie must have been in lingo for a long time saying “I do exist.”

  11. Bachelorette has the guy who is playing Liz Lemon’s current boyfriend (James Masden? Marsden?) and Bridesmaids has the guy who played Liz Lemon’s old boyfriend (Jon Hamm). COINCIDENCE?!?!?!?!

    • I was going to say it’s like Mean Girls meets Bridesmaids which I guess is really the same as saying “our generation’s…”

      I don’t think most people know what a generation is btw.

  12. If that Man of Steel trailer teaches us anything, it’s that Terrance Malick should direct Levi’s ads.

  13. put catherine keener in anything and i’ll probably watch it. the movie she did before with platt, please give… adorbsies. she is a big pull for me, no idea why. it’s my Diane Keaton conundrum… I cannot resist anything with freakin Daine Keaton in it… *shrug*

    in other news… Blonde Tom Hanks.

    BLONDE
    TOM
    HANKS

  14. “I hated this book and what the hell is this movie?”

    Kelly, it’s a movie based on a book that you read and and probably your dad read, and it’s coming out in December so it’s what you’ll see when you go home for the holidays, because, god, there has to be something you can all agree on.

    I didn’t make it all the way through the trailer, but that’s not the point.

  15. I’d like to say only four words about that Life of Pi trailer.

    WHAT. DREAMS. MAY. COME.

  16. The Oranges: [obligatory derogatory comment-ory on upper middle class white people-tory]

  17. Gabe’s love of dance battle movies reminds me of my love of Magic Alcide, the real star of Magic Mike, the greatest movie of all time.

  18. Odds on “Solsbury Hill” appearing in “The Oranges”: 1/50000000

  19. 6 YEAR OLD BOY WILL GIVE YOU 10 REASONS NOT TO VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS0jhoWhqI8&feature=plcp

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