Earlier this month, we got the news that there were three different Wikileaks movies currently in production, each of them waiting to see how the story pans out before committing to an ending, which we then figured out for them. Now that we did that, it looks like they’re moving onto solving other problems like who should play the weirdly kind of cute if you just look at him very fast and don’t notice the hair or most of the face and if you don’t know that story about how very creepy he was to that girl that one time, or this, et al.: Julian Assange. From Deadline:

Here’s something a bit dishy for a summer afternoon. I’ve heard that Jeremy Renner, about to open in The Bourne Legacy, is looking hard at playing Julian Assange in the WikiLeaks film being developed by DreamWorks. The studios is also having conversations with Twilight Saga‘s Bill Condon about directing, though nothing is set on either front. I had also heard that the WikiLeaks film might move toward independent financing. Word from the studio is that DreamWorks is keeping its project–

Blah blah blah blah blah — let me cut you off, Mr. Deadline. The important PIECE OF DISH is that Jeremy Renner might be the one to play Julian Assange. BUT, AHHH, IS HE THE RIGHT ONE?! If we’re only going to get three different tries at this, they’ve got to be perfect! Here are some others you should consider:

Spike, From Buffy the Vampire Slayer (obviously)

Joffrey, Whoever That Is

Carson Kressley

Austin Scarlett

Every Member Of No Doubt

Neil Patrick Harris

A Blond Child

Maybe Billy Corgan?

Thom Yorke For Sure

Rory Culkin

It’s important to note that almost all of these are VERY good. Who do you think should play Julian Assange in this one Julian Assange movie?!

Comments (28)
  1. Tyler Perry.

    • Wiki-Leaks (The story of a cop named John Wiki who is undercover as a plumber)

      • Dang you , Fresh, you’re not taking that script writing job from me.

        • BNPG: Tyler Perry Presents Videogum Monsters:
          Notsew Fast ( The story of a time traveling baby in witness protection)
          Lil Bobby Tables (the story of a furniture maker forced to choose between Tilda Swinton and her Furniture business)
          Frank Lloyd Wrong (the story of a man falsely accused of stealing Dr Who memorabilia)

    • Madea: You’ve got to treat your incontinence.
      W. Leaks: I don’t think I’m strong enough.
      Madea: Of course you are, you’ve got the strength God gives all people to survive. You just have to tap into it.

  2. Kevin Spacey in a Julian Assange wig:

  3. (that’s not a political statement, I just really wanted to use this photo. Assange probably gets laid, right?)

  4. Van Der Beek. Totes.

  5. Meryl Streep from The Devil Wears Prada!

  6. Nah guys sorry but it has to be Jeremy Renner because he has a contract to be in every movie from now on, apparently.

  7. Julian Assange but bald is…

    Colin Mochrie from Whose Line Is It Anyway!

    • One of my favorite things about Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World Proopcast is that occasionally he will tell yet another story about him and Colin getting stoned while on tour.

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