It’s been almost two years since the Internet said goodbye to the Juggalos and their brand of mind-blowingly silly but also totally offensive and hateful when you think about it on-line trolling. It’s never quite as fun when the person you are laughing at figures it out and starts doing it even more. Schadenfreude runs on authenticity! Not to mention the fact that every year everyone laughs at the publicity run-up to the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, and then at the event itself people have bottles crushed into their eyes and human feces rubbed into the wound. LOL? But even if we should, as a general rule, ignore these yucky demons, the release of the annual infomercial advertising the Gathering is a cherished tradition at this point, and tradition is what ties us together AS A FAMILY. This year’s infomercial is 23 minutes long, the longest infomercial for a nightmare weekend in hell ever! And has a zombie Apocalypse theme! And introducing: JAMIE KENNEDY!

“Moonwalk bouncies, bitch.” This is OUR summer solstice. (Via Gawker.)

Comments (50)
  1. I am absolutely certain that the Gathering of The Juggalos is the worst place on Earth. Still, I feel strangely compelled to see it for myself.

    • You ever seen someone from afar and think, “Wow, I bet I know what you smell like.” And it turns out, yes, they smell exactly like you think they smell? Rotting foodstuff and unwashed hair? It turns out, all of those people… they all get together in (SURPRISE!) Illinois.

  2. “Overtaken” is one word. Go back to school, clowns.

  3. Your guide to the coming of the Apocalypse:

    Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson plan to spawn – Check
    Juggalos make a 23 minute informercial – Check
    Someone sends me an unsolicited lolcat – the day is still young (it is only 2am here)

  4. The Juggalos have militarized. Time to call in a drone strike.

  5. I recently Netflix’d Jamie Kennedy’s “film” on Heckling and feel that it maybe got released a bit too early.

    He is going to get so much Faygo thrown at him oh my lord have mercy oh wait even Jesus Christ knows to stay away from The Gathering damn.

  6. George Clinton. I’m relatively certain he will be struck with a Faygo bottle full of poop.

  7. There’s something wonderful about them screaming “Don’t be a corporate drone! Think for yourself!” Then immediately following that with “Come to this place! There’s other people who think just like you!”

  8. RIC FLAIR!!!

  9. Well, at the very least we can expect another SNL parody this fall?

  10. I didn’t make it all the way to the end, but I like to imagine it included the line “And also, making her first appearance at this muthafreaking gathering, Belinda Carlisle!”

  11. Uh so I started the video because I thought Gabe was joking when he said it was 23 minutes long. Paused forever at 00:01 (or until I leave this screen).

  12. Guys, I don’t have 23 minutes to watch this, so if someone can tell me what time Paul Krugman is going on stage to discuss the LIBOR crisis, that’d be fantastic.

  13. Danny Brown, Raekwon, GEORGE CLINTON AND PARLIAMENT FUNKADELIC (?!?!), and The Geto Boys? I’m willing to take my chances with the Juggalos for that line up, see all y’all ninjas at Cave in Rock, woop woop!

    • Oh good, I’m glad someone else thinks so too, I was worried I was turning into a juggalo. If it wasn’t for all the jugallo bands and jugallo related activities this would be a pretty cool festival.

  14. Until recently, I thought I could live my life free of Juggalos; however, they have been slowly taking over.

    I work at a Starbucks, and as I am sure you all know, we offer free Wi-Fi. Lately two Juggalos have been coming in and staying for hours upon hours (like my whole 8 hour shift, and then some) and using our internet. It really peeves me because they NEVER buy anything, but they bring in McDonald’s and other grossness. One day they brought a 2 liter of Faygo (NO LIE!) and bag of Ruffles with onion dip. For some reason, we can’t ask them to leave. Now the pack has grown and there are 4-5 of them there at a time. They just sit their taunting me, and I don’t know how much more I can take.

    On top of this, my neighbors to the right are Juggalos, and they are just the fucking worst. They like to use our garbage can instead of theirs to throw away their Burger King bags and cigarette butts. My huz just put a bunch of rotten fruit in their garbage can, so I guess the war is on. Anyway, the ultimate betrayal…We considered ourselves pretty good friends with the neighbors on the left, until one night, I came home and saw the Juggalos walking out of their apartment!

    JUGGALOS ARE RUINING MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. This is a good video, with a good message and all, but I gotta masturbate at least once, I MEAN DAMN!

  16. Seriously, though, Rakewon, Danny Brown, Geto Boys? Man, this festival is getting too commercial, I remember when it was all about the Faygo and neden, man.

  17. There’s no mention of “HELICOPTER RIDES” this year. This infomercial is invalid.

  18. Maybe “Improv Everywhere” can flashmob as a Juggling convention.

  19. I watched… the whole damn thing. Then I realized it was 23 minutes later. Dafuq, indeed.

  20. This must be an East Coast reference because I have never heard of Juggalos or Faygo and I can’t Google them because they sound like things I don’t want in my search history.

    • Oh, what sweet bliss, to never have heard of Juggalos. I think back to the heady days of 2009, before I ever knew of the Insane Clown Posse or the Gathering of the Juggalos. It was a happier, simpler time in my life. So, dear martinmegs, cherish and maintain your ignorance for as Lady Bracknell once said, “Ignorance is like a delecate, exotic fruit. Touch it, and the bloom is gone.”

  21. When you can’t properly pronounce the name of the state your having your music festival in, one should take that as a sign to not have one at all.

  22. hopefully it’ll be like the gathering in the highlander movie with lots of decapitation until it’s the last juggalo standing.

  23. I don’t know what’s more disappointing. That Boondox will be not participating in this year’s Gathering or that I know who Boondox is and realized he was absent.

  24. The quality of this video reminds me of my fav childhood PC game Goosebumps: Escape from horrorland.

  25. They call it a place of “love and peace” but it’s followed by a dude just shooting down a couple of zombies who represent the “mainstream masses”. That’s just rude juggalos

  26. I’m not going if Buttsnack’s not playing.

  27. “How can we make the Gathering even more horrifying, ninja?” “Add a fucking wrestling robot?”

  28. danny brown, nuff said

  29. I really want to know what kind of SEMINARS they are offering.

  30. Just wanted to point out the fact that Millionaires are one of the listed performers.

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