Yo diggity yo dogs!

Wasssuuup dudes who learned how to skateboard from their grandfathers and girls who are doing chores around the house to save up enough money to launch their Etsy store. It’s been 4eva since I rapped at u bros! And unfortch I’ve got some totally bogue news today. XBOX 3SUXTY! Apparently Andrew Garfield (the Spider-Man!) and Robert Pattinson (the Twilight!) might hate each other, which is not chill at all. Can’t we just get along? That’s a famous quote from 1993, just 14 years before u were born! To the new sadness, from Dlisted:

The source says that it disgusts Andrew that he’s put into the same category as RPattz, because he considers himself a highly serious actor who delivers his farts with more raw emotion than RPattz delivers his lines. (Side question: Do vampires fart?) The source went on to say that at a wedding for some Hollywood producer last month, Andrew and RPattz barely looked at each other. The source added this shit: “The truth is, Andrew can’t stand Rob. Andrew hates that they’re put in the same category because they’re both English and around the same age. They don’t enjoy hanging out. Andrew considers himself a ‘serious actor’ and sees Rob as the equivalent of a cheesy boy bander because of Twilight.”

Awwwwww! Guys, we can have our differences but we got 2 try 3 squash our beefz. Life is hard enough, so if u hate somebody, learn 2 love them. You never know, maybe you will become MySpace Top 8s! Such a summer bummer. I sure hope these two talented guys can learn to settle their differences and go to the same nightclubs together. Think about the nightclubs!!!!

Comments (24)
  1. That depends: is Robert Pattinson a Monday?

  2. Related: Apparently Garfield has a “man crush” on “dreamboat” Ryan Gosling

  3. First of all, I didn’t know Garfield was British. Second of all, I didn’t know Garfield was Aslan.

  4. “he considers himself a highly serious actor who delivers his farts with more raw emotion…”
    Obviously this is the new system of measurement for actor comparisons. Thank you Andrew Garfield for your contributions to Acting Science.

  5. Come on, those two have nothing in common! Except that they’re both white British dudes with big stupid hair playing Americans in major movie franchises, and both are in fake relationships with their co-stars.

  6. Everyone knows that Spiderman origin stories are more serious drama than Twighlight because Peter Parker is an orphan. I mean, doy.

    BTDubs Gabe, all the kool teenz are now saying 5ever because it’s like 4ever but one more.

    • Isn’t the vampire in Twilight really old? Statistically speaking, he’s probably an orphan too.

      • He is old. But I think that he is in, like, a vampire family? I don’t know. True blood vampires can have sex with their siblings/children and still pretend that it is a serious familial bond, I don’t get vampires.

        • UGH, I hate that I know this but: Edward is actually an orphan at the time he becomes a vampire. His mom dies of Spanish Flu and I think his dad was dead already? (Presumably murdered by a ruffian who just stole from a wrestling promoter and/or bodega.) And he is dying of Spanish flu too so his “Vampire Dad” decides to vamp him up to save his life. BOO THAT I KNOW THIS INFORMATION. (In my defense, I’ve seen each of these movies several times WITH THE ACCOMPANYING RIFFTRAX. They’re very funny. Ch-ch-check them out!)

      • He’s a 104-year-old virgin and he knows lots of languages because vampires don’t sleep and he had lots of time for self-improvement while his vampire “siblings” were off banging each other all night. This isn’t really related, it’s just my favorite small detail from the Twilight books and I try to share it with people as often as I can to offset the fact that I’ve actually read the Twilight books.

  7. I actually don’t want to hear ANY raw emotion in farts, thanks.

  8. Teen Korner is written by that tall rat faced cop from The Killing. He’s from tha streetz, ya heard?

  9. No one born 14 years after the L.A. riots has any idea what MySpace is, Gabe!

  10. oh crap, does not looking at people mean you don’t like them now? sometimes people aren’t looking at me, what does that mean!

  11. Andrew Garfield’s life is Twilight

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