It’s so easy to look up to the lives of Hollywoods starlets like Chloe Sevigny (yes?) and think, “Boy, I wish I had their life.” They probably get to eat at a restaurant every night, and go out on dates with handsome millionaires, and stare endlessly at their flawless faces in any mirror they come across, and whenever they want to go to something and it’s sold out it doesn’t even matter because somehow they get a ticket, and also they get all their dresses for free. Right? That’s what you probably think? “Oh, all of those things sound wonderful, especially the guaranteed fact about getting all your dresses for free.” Well, lady, I hate to tell you this, but YOUR FANTASY IS A LIE!!! Take it from Chloe HERSELF. From Out:

For the British premiere of Hit & Miss she requested about 20 dresses for consideration, but only received two. “Aren’t I one of the top searches on, for crying out loud?” she says with mock disgust. “How hard is it to get a fucking dress from Valentino?”

My goodness. Only two out of twenty! That is embarrassing, Chloe Sevigny! Proof, ladies, that you can work for your whole life to get into one of the top searches on, the #1 website for Style, and STILL have to deal with the same no-dress bullshit. I guess what they say is true — “There’s no such thing as a free dress.” “Even when you’re going to wear it on a red carpet.” Sometimes I feel like we shouldn’t even try anymore. Very disheartening. Valentino, man. (Via Dlisted.)

Comments (22)
  1. “Who do I have to BLOW to get a dress around here? Put your fucking hand down, Vincent Gallo!” — Chloe Sevigny

  2. That was a completely normal reaction. Good job, Chloe Sevighygh. Celebrities, they’re just like us! They throw tantrums when very expensive designers won’t send them a free dress just cause they asked for one even though they’re part of the only group of people who could actually afford that dress. Just like us!

  3. at least the Laser Tag Emporium was kind enough to donate to her worthy cause

  4. That’s why I prefer the Tilda Swinton routes of either making one’s own clothing using elfin secret tailoring techniques while singing folk songs in the glen under a full moon, or stealthily sneaking into museums and making off with priceless historical frocks.

  5. Sensing an opportunity, the Hanes Her Way brand manager is tracking down Chloe’s address to ship over a pallet of sensible yet stylish underpants.

  6. being as she is also one of the top 20 searches on, she’s gotten hundreds, if not thousands of dick picks every week.

    she seems to think it works the same way for dresses on

  7. So we’re just ignoring the part where is says “mock disgust”?

    • Yup!
      Because even though she’s joking (or half joking), she’s still talking about how she’s used to getting free dresses from Valentino and that not getting free dresses from Valentino is really unusual. And that’s a weird and hilarious thing to talk about! Take all the free dresses from everyone, of course, but sort of shut up about it!
      Plus she knows her search ranking. Google yourself much, Chloe Sevigny?

      Also this is a comedy blog where we make fun of silly people for being silly. It’s kind of our thing.

      • I strongly doubt that she is even in the top 10 searches on, unless she’s secretly Marc Jacobs or something.

        • It looks like she is #5 at the moment. I think she’s pretty popular in the world of fashion, but my knowledge of the intersection of celebrities and fashion is murky at best.

          • For realsies? That blows my mind. She is not at the peak of her own relevance in the fashion world, though she did just do a campagin for Miu Miu.

          • I know she has been a face for Chloe (see what they did there?) and I think she was a muse for Marc Jacobs, and she keeps popping up at various shindigs I follow (look at online)(in my sweatpants)(because I fail at fashion).

        • She searches for herself on a lot.

      • I got nothing against making fun of Chloe Sevigny (did you know she was “discovered” by Sassy magazine?) but, it’s not like she gets to keep the dresses. They’re free rentals. Anyway, it looks like she recovered okay by gluing together a bunch of coasters she must have had lying around her fancy apartment. Sad she’s basically sacrificing a coffee table, though.

  8. Well one way or another, she ended up with a Versus dress so she should probably stop complaining.

  9. Shouldn’t the title be “Chloe Sevigny auditions for Game of Thrones in bad ass scale mail, Gentlemen”?

  10. Maybe if her request letter didn’t include phrases like “has to be very Chloe Sevigny, you know?” and “how about like a see-through sheath made of mirrors” she would get more bites? (By the way, that’s how celebs get free dresses. Through request letters.)

  11. I hope everyone has been pronouncing dresses the same way Chloe does: “Dress-eees”!

  12. What did you guys wear to the blog today? I’m in a pair of faded Levi 569s (grr!), black Converse hightops that strengthen my back and legs by offering no support (muscular!), and a shirt that turned up for the first time in 10 years on a recent closet clean-out (vintage!). The shirt is black and it says Paramount, and it does not mention that at Paramount my job was mainly to get snacks for tense people.

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