Benedict Cumberbatch, am I right ladiiiiieeeeees (and fellas who really enjoyed the BBC’s updating of Sherlock)?! BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH! What a perfectly named dreamboat, NO LORRIES. Obviously, you are not the only one who is in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. Come on. It’s a big world out there. All the ladies love him. Don’t be selfish. Many of these ladies have apparently taken to calling themselves “Cumberbitches.” (Great work picking out your name, gals. You’re going to sweep at this year’s Namies!) This is enough of a thing, this Cumberbitches thing, that there is already a @cumberbitches Twitter handle with almost 30,000 followers. And he gets asked about it in interviews. Here’s his answer from his interview with InStyle UK (via Celebitchy):

On The Cumberbitches: “I wish my 15-year-old self had known about my allure to the opposite sex! It’s flattering, though I worry about what it says for feminism, it’s quite a pejorative term… Cumberbabes might be better.”

HE IS WORIED ABOUT WHAT IT SAYS FOR FEMINISM. Of course he is. “The main thing that concerns me about my female fans is that I haven’t made their brains, which are their real erogenous zones, explode out of their vaginas yet. Hold on. OK, there we go.” (Two seconds later he points out that he really wants to have a baby. GUUHHHHHHHHH, LADIIIIIIIEEEEEEEES ARE YOU OK?!?!?!!?!) This guy! Benedict Cumberbatch! Please be careful out there, girls. This sex monster will clearly say ANYTHING.

Comments (63)
  1. I AM NOT OKAY, FETCH ME MY SMELLING SALTS.

  2. Cumberbitch sounds like part of a great derby name.

  3. I tried to register http://www.twitter.com/cumberboners for us guys, but a vegetable fetishist already took it.

  4. Thanks, Benedict Cumberbatch. You’ve restored my faith in other people. It’s going to be a good day.

  5. Shun the frumious Cumberbatch!

  6. We get a free Gabe/Kelly mix-up reply for this article right? Just checking….because it’s very confusingly written.

    Here it goes:

    LOL Kelly….Cumberbitches be CRAZY! AMIRITE Kelly?

  7. Somewhere, there is a very attractive cucumber salesman scratching that nickname off of his list.

  8. “BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH! What a perfectly named dreamboat, NO LORRIES.”

  9. Cumberbabes is kind of worse. I mean babes feels more demeaning than bitch. Maybe that’s just because I am a total bitch and I own that shit !

  10. So yesterday I saw this picture of Chiwetel Ejiofor knitting:

    And now after this I think I need to move to England.

  11. #tosh4moriarty

  12. Can’t wait to watch the new BBC reality show, The Cumberbachelor

    • I’d one of those crazy bitche…. I mean BABES that would lose her shit within the first 5 minutes after meeting the bachelor.

      NONE OF YOU LOVE HIM LIKE I DO.

  13. I’m a huge Sherlock Holmes fan and Moffatt’s update is probably the best thing in the world (I may have painted Sherlock and John shoes a few weeks ago). Though I agree with heimay above that Cumberbabes might be more demeaning, I love that he worries about feminism..


    Also, did anyone else read Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy to know more about his character or was it just me?

    • If you stare at this gif for more than a few loops, it starts to make you feel a little crazy. (Just me, maybe.) Also, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is near the top of my list. Bought it to read in time for the movie, but I was battling Moby Dick like the entire theater run. Sigh.

  14. They should have cast Tosh point 0 as the Moriarity nemesis in the Sherlock series

  15. That picture and I need to be alone for awhile. Excuse me.

  16. This is the third wave Bendicoot Cumbersnatch, they’re just takin’ it back.

    Like the night, but less doing and more tumblr. #feminismjokesforfeministsbyfeminists

  17. Also relevant

  18. So I gasped and said “Oh god” when I saw the tweet about this story, because I thought it might be something bad, but then I gasped and said “Oh god” when I read the actual story because *swooooon*.

  19. I’ve been vaguely interested in watching Sherlock for a while, and this might get me to queue it up. (I’d heard the name Benedict Cumberbatch, but didn’t know that 1. he was a real person and 2. so good-looking. Also, the nod to feminism.)

  20. I can be such a Cunterbatch sometimes.

  21. Gabe, thank you a gajillion times over for this post. It has made my day.

  22. He’s the only reason I’m thinking of seeing War Horse.

  23. First of all, this post is amazing, no one breathe too hard on it, this is its preciousness.

    Second, really, people think babes is worse than bitches? Bitches, please.

  24. Is it time for me to make my joke that he’s “quite the cumbercatch,” or has that time passed?

  25. If he had been born in the US, what would his agent have changed his name to?

    Ben Batch, probably?
    B.C. Starr?
    Johnny Britt
    Birch Blayde?

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