Sure, this new music video from French Montana featuring Drake, Rick Ross, and Lil Wayne isn’t particularly ground-breaking. The first hip hop video to feature bikini clad booty models walking dripping wet out of a pool to open a new bottle of champagne was actually filmed by the Lumiere Brothers in 1459 and it was called “Le Train,” or whatever. And yet, AND YET, that makes it all the more painful to remember that some people know how to live their lives and some people do not. Namely, French Montana, Drake, Rick Ross, and Lil Wayne know how to live their lives and the rest of us do not. Guys! We’re doing it wrong! “But Gabe, while we understand your point about people having what seems like fun in contrast to the day to day pain and suffering of actual life, surely you recognize that the misogynistic objectification of women and the emphasis placed on alcohol and material wealth aren’t actual signifiers of a life well lived, and if anything these are the exact same dangerous distractions that we encounter in the real world and lead us down a path of misery and dissatisfaction.” UH NO WONDER YOU ARE NEVER INVITED TO THE GOOD PARTIES. (Music video via Stereogum.)

Comments (25)
  1. Are you telling me this isn’t what a Monster’s Meet-up looks like?

  2. hip hop life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. even Jay-Z had 99 problems. and B.I.G. and Diddy taught us that Mo money = Mo problems.

    i even called Mike Jones to ask for advice for a period in 2006. he never returned my calls.

    Vanilla Ice was the only rapper to offer to solve my problems, and I checked out his hook while the DJ revolved it to no avail.

  3. Most people don’t know that French Montana is Hannah Montana’s foreign cousin. Here’s last year’s Christmas Card!

  4. Can I live (right)?

  5. Did they make a hookah or a bong out of a bottle of Moet? That is *such* a waste of decent, mid-range champagne. Everyone knows you use Andre for your champers bong/hookah.

    Also: they appear to have an infestation of Kardashian lookalikes in their pool. (You need to take care of that quickly before they spread.)

    Sorry rap musicians, but you are living YOUR lives wrong.

    • yeah! quit throwing money away on women, blunts, and champagne! studies even show real estate can be a poor investment. take some of that cash and find a decent mutual fund to invest in! save for retirement!

  6. I know I’m not living life right, but I’m trying, I promise I am! Someday soon I will be chilling in a pool with champagne.
    Sadly, since I’m a girl I can only aspire to being a prop at these parties; displaying my body like a cattle auction, there for the enjoyment of the important male guests, performing the part of someone who is enjoying herself but never allowed to express myself or feel truly comfortable, and only welcome as long as my physical attributes continue to please.

    But a pool party’s a pool party, it’s better than nothing.

  7. (Music video via Stereogum.)
    Is that so?
    *clicks the link in hopes of stealing witty comments for internet fame at risk of internet infamy*
    Comments (0)
    Oh.

  8. If I ever accidentally walked into a party like this, I’d probably have an immediate brain aneurysm. It just runs so contrary to how I understand the universe and its rules that my feeble mind wouldn’t be able to handle the shift. A psychological case of the bends, if you will.

  9. If listening to Krispy Kreme’s version of how to live right is wrong then I don’t want to be right. Right?

  10. I was at a party like this once, only there was no pool and the women kept insisting we go drink our champagne in some kind of specially designated room.

  11. I can admit to you monsters that I bought this song the other day. You see I had the crank radio/flashlight out on the coffee table because of storms and power outages etc. So I turned it on on a whim, heard this song playing and thought it was interesting musically.

    So I Shazamed it and bought it; obtaining the explicit version, because, well, I’m an adult. Then I listened to it, and thought did I really just buy a song that instructs a b*tch to drop her p*ssy like 8 times in a row? Yes, I did. And I still think it’s interesting musically, so I just pretend I’m really gangsta when I listen to it.

  12. I enjoyed the lyric, “Muthafuck I’m on my skateboard/ Watch me do a trick, ho.” Probably because it’s the closest thing to something I’d say at a party. (I don’t know how to skateboard.)

  13. Alright! It’s 11:39 in the PM and I’m going to go commenting around all the posts that went up today! Here I go!!!

  14. Wow! Those guys and bikini-clad booty models rapped and partied until it got dark outside!

  15. Don’t hate. This was the first dance song at my wedding.

  16. Has anyone ever seen the “booty pop” kid and Drake in the same room? Just saying.

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