ATTENTION BIOLOGICAL CITIZENS! THE ROBOTS WHO HAVE RISEN UP AGAINST US AND NOW MAKE NEAR DAILY INCURSIONS AGAINST HUMANKIND IN THEIR ROBOWAR TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE NATURAL RESOURCES ARE NO LONGER SIMPLY ORDERING SCONES AND FOLDING SOCKS, THEY ARE ALSO ATTEMPTING TO PLAY SOCCER. THERE ARE A SELECT NUMBER OF ROBOT SYMPATHIZERS WHO WILL SIT AROUND AND CHEER FOR THE ROBOTS. THESE PEOPLE ARE TO BE ARRESTED IMMEDIATELY AND LAUNCHED DIRECTLY TO SPACE JAIL. IF YOU DO SEE A ROBOT PLAYING SOCCER, PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT IT FALLS OVER ON ITS ROBOT FACE AND CAN’T EVEN STAND BACK UP THE STUPID THING BEFORE GOING ABOUT YOUR DAY. DO NOT, WE REPEAT, DO NOT HELP THE ROBOT BACK ONTO ITS ROBOT FEET AND ENCOURAGE IT TO PLAY MORE SOCCER. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING THAT YOU WOULD DO A THING LIKE THAT? DON’T DO THAT. LEAVE THE ROBOT ON THE GROUND, OR KICK IT INTO A TRASH CAN. THE FOLLOWING VIDEO EVIDENCE CAPTURES SOCCER ROBOTS IN THE FIELD. THIS IS FOR VISUAL REFERENCE ONLY, NO LAUGHING.

DISREGARD THIS PROPAGANDA. THE GOAL IS NOT TO HAVE ROBOTS BEAT HUMANS IN SOCCER’S WORLD CUP IN 2050. THIS VIDEO WAS CLEARLY MADE BY A ROBOT. THE GOAL IS NO SOCCER ROBOTS IN 2012. DOWN WITH ROBOTS. DOWN WITH SOCCER ROBOTS! (Via ViralVideos.)

Comments (17)
  1. Their ball skills aren’t very good, but these robots can already dive like pros.

  2. A regular Roboto Baggio over here.

  3. Watching robots kick other robots and falling down has to be the best start to the week.

  4. Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Er Robots

  5. Kelly, not to split hairs, but I think the robots call it “football.”

  6. I was worried when I saw the screenshot on the front page, but then I bravely clicked through and saw that they’re teeny. We’re still safe. FOR NOW.

  7. I am pretty sure this is from the Yeosu World Expo in S. Korea, which I just went to a few weeks back. In the future, aka next month, when we’re all enslaved to our robot masters, I can say that I was there in the beginning. I was there, and I did nothing.

  8. 01000111 01001111 01001111 01001111 01000001 01000001 01000001 01000001 01001100 01001100 01001100 01001100 01001100 01001100 00100001 00100001 00100001

  9. All your balls are belong to us.

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