You know how sometimes you really wish garbage would fall down from the sky, so you could eat it? Like I know we all have our own garbage here on the ground for us to eat, but you know how sometimes you’re not sure that that garbage is going to give you enough gastrointestinal problems, so you really wish a bunch of the RIGHT kind of garbage would just fall from the sky, directly into your mouth? Well Taco Bell heard that wish, made by the town of Bethel, Alaska, after they had been PRANKED into thinking they were getting their own Taco Bell chain, which they were not, and Taco Bell made that wish come true. From the LA Times:

When Taco Bell executives learned of the cruel joke, they sent a free consolation package on Sunday bearing 950 pounds of beef, 500 pounds of sour cream, 300 pounds of tomatoes, 300 pounds of lettuce and 150 pounds of cheddar cheese.

No word yet on whether Bethel should expect a more permanent Taco Bell in the future.

[UPDATED, 10:50 a.m.: Taco Bell says it currently doesn't have plans to set up a Bethel store.]

Ulterior motives? Not necessarily – Taco Bell Chief Executive Greg Creed told the Associated Press that “if we can feed people in Afghanistan and Iraq, we can feed people in Bethel.”

That update is from 10:50AM THIS MORNING, EVERYBODY! Up to the minute updates on this situation. Anyway, yes, obviously, everything about this is good and correct and what makes it even better is that the kind of tacos they delivered to Bethel are the Doritos kind. Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum. Let’s see this “airlift” in action.

I say “airlift” in quotes because, like, what? Why would they airlift a truck full of ingredients? I don’t believe they airlifted this truck all the way to Bethel from wherever it was before that. I believe they airlifted it from behind those trees to in front of those trees, but THAT’S JUST ME. Maybe you live in a more wonderful and magical world than I do, where Taco Bell does indeed airlift trucks full of ingredients to Bethel. That’s good for you, sincerely. That world must be beautiful. (Via ViralViral.)

Comments (35)
  1. I don’t know why you have to be so cynical, Kelly. Flying the ingredients in by truck was just the most efficient way to get these people the tacos they deserved.

  2. Fairly certain the Dharma Initiative is behind this somehow.

  3. I think “tacos” should also be in quotes considering the fact that Taco Bell doesn’t serve edible food

    • yep, my editor took a look and came back with this:

      “I say ‘beef’ in quotes because, like, what?”

    • It’s frankly quite amazing to me how many Americans actually sustain life eating almost nothing but gross simulated food products with basically zero nutritional value. I guess “life” should be in quotes there.

  4. Wrong border.

  5. You see how excited these people got over the prospect of having a Taco Bell in their town? Now every time some asshole tells me how cool and rugged they think it would be to live in Alaska I can remind them it’s the kind of place that makes you grateful for Taco Bell.

    • When your usual diet consists of ‘stuff that froze to death on the back porch’, even “tacos” begin to look appealing.

      Note: look, not taste.

  6. My comment disappeared into the void. Sorry in advance if this posts twice!

  7. Sorry, guys. You got to pick up the taco shells on your own at the supermarket. You might as well pick up everything else while you’re there instead of traveling to our weird little truck of beef and sour cream.

    • You also have to make the tacos yourself, and you don’t even get to mix all the different kinds of sodas together at the soda fountain afterwards.

  8. “Back that garbage truck right into my mouth.”

    - Alaskan Me

  9. I think they did it as an airlift just to make the Inuits dig through their dictionary to find the right word for thiis particular kind of snow.

  10. Is anyone else worried about how Carlos is going to feel about this?

  11. The hoax is on Taco Bell.

    There is no town named Bethel, Alaska. It is actually just a big old lady named Bethel.

    And boy does she like ‘tacos’.

  12. I used to love Taco Bell. Mexican Pizzas are delicious. And, we had a Pizza Hut/Taco Bell, so you could get two delicious garbage meals at the same time.

    Then came the day that I found something weird in my taco that I had been eating, and later broke into hives. That was about ten years ago. I think I may have tried to eat there once again, but the “taco hives” incident has just made it too difficult.

  13. Why the hell doesn’t every town in Alaska have its own Taco Bell? They’re just Arizona with snow.

  14. Taco Bell just smells like chemicals to me. I think I missed the imprinting stage. But I have been suggesting that Poquito Mas do something like this to my town for awhile.

  15. What, no video of people running to the loo?

  16. Taco Bell is great. You all need to come down from your ivory towers and enjoy it with the rest of us.

  17. I understand your suspicion about the airlift, but allow me to clarify. Here is a map of Bethel, Alaska:

    Please note that THERE ARE NO ROADS INTO OR OUT OF BETHEL WHATSOEVER. For real. The choice was either put the garbage-food on a helicopter, or float the garbage-food up the river on a barge, and the latter would take weeks.

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