Last night I watched a documentary about “The Dream Team,” the 1992 USA Olympic basketball team that had every famous basketball player in the entire world on it, not because I am interested in any word that I just wrote but because sometimes in life you have to make compromises, and in the documentary they talked about why Isiah Thomas (a basketball player) wasn’t included on the team, and that was because he was a jerk and no one liked him I guess? But then today I saw this picture of Shaq, and it was so perfect, and I thought, wait, WHY WASN’T SHAQ ON THE TEAM? “Did Shaq get snubbed, too?” I wondered. “Why didn’t anyone in that documentary talk about Shaq, perfect Shaq, and why he wasn’t included?” So then I looked it up on the Internet, and as it turns out Shaq…wasn’t drafted…or something…until 1992? And…couldn’t be…? Listen, I got bored VERY VERY soon after I tried to find out why Shaq wasn’t included on the 1992 USA Olympic “Dream Team,” so I don’t actually have the answer. (Also I’m almost positive that it was a VERY dumb question to even ask.) But I did try to find out! And it was all because of this photo of Shaq on the set of Grown Ups 2 and how incredible it is, and also: look at how small that can of Hawaiian Punch looks in Police Officer Shaq’s hand!! And that’s what’s important. Trying. Also what is important is CAPTIONING THIS PHOTO!

Winner will receive special mention in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Click through for full-size Shaq with full-size Hawaiian Punch. (Via PopCultureBrain.)

Comments (43)
  1. Shaq paused for a moment to reflect, for he had realized the he was indeed the best actor in Grown Ups 2.

  2. Listen, I might not “like” “sports”, but I’m pretty sure that’s Larry Bird.

    • Larry Bird isn’t bald!

    • It is not Larry Bird bcoz he doesnt have bald.
      He maintains his hairstyle and health and very much consious on this.
      And i came to know he takes [url=]diet meal plan[url] to keep his health fine.

      Jahn smith

  3. Sadly not the most ridiculous Shaq has looked in a movie.

  4. Guys, guys, did you know that Shaq is an honorary US Marshall and was a reserve officer in the LA Port Police?!!?!

    You probably already knew that.

  5. Rad Afro-Skullet, guy

  6. Caption contest aside, this photo is making me thirsty for a product that may longer exist.

  7. “Ridiculous.” -Charles Barkley

  8. He doesn’t even show up on the main IMDb page for this movie. He is a bench warmer on the cast of Grown Ups 2. Where is his pride?

  9. “kazaam, kazaam, kazaaam…”

  10. There is no way that this is a normal-sized can of soda.

  11. An estimated 60% of NBA players declare bankruptcy less than five years after retiring.

  12. “Shaq in Grown-Ups 2 is a SLAM DUNK!” – your local TV station

  13. He looks like a real blookhead.

  14. Bubba Smith is not amused.

  15. These aren’t handcuffs – these are Shackles.

  16. Shaq insisted on a chonmage haircut as a personal nod to the period films of Acura Kirbysaurus, Shaq’s favorite Japanese filmmaker, and his inspirational center for this ronin-esque police officer character.

    Also, this is for the Police Academy reboot, not Grown Ups 2.

  17. Grown Ups 2: Star Trek 3

  18. This is what happens when you let Aaron Carter beat you at basketball.

  19. Kelly – even though Shaq was still a college student, he could have been selected for the team because there was a spot reserved for a college player. That spot went to Christian Laettner, who was certainly a very good college player, at least in part because he was white and handsome and went to Duke.

  20. Casting Louis C.K. as a cop in “Grown Ups 2″ was a bit of an odd choice, but requiring him to play the role in black face made no sense whatsoever.

  21. Aw! Shaqzilla!

  22. Happy Madison’s resident tailor was thrilled from the start to put down the khakis and ball caps, to work on a project he could experience the genuine feeling of accomplishment, which hadn’t happened since making a cape during the Little Niki era. Upon finishing the gargantuan garment he swooned inside the front pocket never to be seen again.

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