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The idea of a fireworks show is always a very exciting and promising idea, I think. “It’s going to be so beautiful,” you say to yourself. “I love fireworks.” “I cannot wait to see fireworks.” “I wish we could watch fireworks together every week.” “The gold ones that turn glittery when they fall are my favorite, can’t wait to see some of those bad boys.” Those are all examples of things that people have maybe said. But in practice — and especially in practice the night before you have to go to work in the morning, when you are so thirsty but you’re on a friend’s roof and would have to walk down eight flights of stairs to get a glass of water, and also you’re so tired and dirty from being on the roof and being at a barbecue earlier and it is so hot outside and you so badly just want to go home and take a shower and go to sleep — fireworks can be a little one-note. Beautiful, for sure, NO ONE is saying that fireworks aren’t beautiful, but the show is always somewhere around 80% longer than necessary. If we’re being honest with ourselves. Last night in San Diego, the city’s fireworks display (which was billed as being “bigger and more intense than in past years,” LOL) accidentally went off all at the same time, awww, and it is being talked about as an error, but, uh, maybe it was not as much of an error as everyone is saying? 15 seconds of the loudest noise you’ve ever heard and all the fireworks at once and then you can go home and go to bed? THAT SOUNDS GREAT! Here, see if it looks great to you:
“BOOM.” – Those fireworks. Nice job, boys. Very efficient. If we could have this instead of a normal fireworks display and then just distribute some of those illegal fireworks that look like real fireworks randomly around everyone’s neighborhood, I think we could all have a pretty pleasant next fourth of July. Thank you, San Diego. You stupid genius. (Via Geekologie.)
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“Yeah I approve”
Also, whoever set those fireworks was a real blookhead, probably wasn’t even wwtching what he was doing -_-
“Blookhead” is my new favorite insult.
Substituting a “W” for an “A” is my new favourite wctivity.
That was the best fireworks display I’ve ever seen, because it was the most explosive and least tedious one I’ve ever seen. Now excuse me while I go home to shower and sleep.
Reminds me of my wedding night (in that I spent it in San Diego).
If this were a KY commercial, the lady counterpart would not be looking so satisfied.
i had a great view of the action.
HA-HAH! That was the sound that I made, very loudly at work. Thanks to you!
I hate it when things accidentally go off all at the same time and only last 15 seconds.
Something something penis something.
fuck that little kid and his whine. does he realize I spent my entire childhood hoping something like that would happen?
i hope his dad spends the rest of that brat’s life reminding him how he felt when all the fireworks went off at once. “No, son, you only get one piece of halloween candy per day. Remember how you felt when the fireworks all went off at ounce? let’s not have that again. you like your fun and excitement to be long and drawn out affairs with a tiny payoff at the end. By the way, I got you some M. Night Shayamalan movies to watch while the rest of the family goes to see the Avengers.”
“We can only ride one ride at Disney World today. Remember the fireworks???”
I was on a boat about a 100 hundred yards away from one of the barges and you could feel the explosions in your chest. We thought the dock blew up at first. It was one of the most incredible, terrifying things I have ever witnessed. All fifteen seconds of it. Then we waited and waited… finally the police told everyone that the show was over.
That’s what she said.
Kelly, I think you are on to something. My dog is terrified by fireworks, but at some point last night in the 4-5 hours of explosions exploding outside of my window (why my city wants to only light fireworks above my house is beyond me), my dog kind of started to block out the noise and only shook and cried a little… whereas every OTHER GODDAMN NIGHT THIS SPRING AND SUMMER the 2-3 fireworks that go off right before we go to sleep keeps him up for way longer and he’ll sprint from wherever he is and pace and cry and want to go out but not want to go out because it is scary outside, etc. etc.
And I just heard two or three a few minutes ago. Right after noon. On a Thursday. And now he is trying to sit on my lap.
I don’t remember my point. I was up until 2:30 because of the damn fireworks.
My July 4th plans revolved largely around my dog, since he’s only been with us for a few days. He wasn’t scared at all! It was amazing. He did, however, spend all day running around my parents’ yard terrorizing other dogs. Very energetic basset hound.
Yeah, we did a 3-mile walk after work on Tuesday and about 5 miles yesterday, which might have helped… though the dog Xanax did the heavy lifting (sedating). My guy wasn’t afraid of fireworks at all until after he left the “fire hazard” safety of California to move to some weird place that rains a lot and sells ginormous bottle rockets in makeshift stands about 10 blocks from our place. Portland doesn’t mess around. Last year a restaurant a few blocks over burned to the ground bc of a stray bottle rocket or 800. I’ve already seen 4-5 missing dog fliers in the past week due to pre-4th celebrations. I’m honestly considering leaving for California next year since rural Oregon is apparently actually much MUCH worse.
I am so, so grateful that the dogs in my life don’t really care too much about loud noises. We had a couple random barks, but no freaking out like that. But I have done some petsitting for an aunt whose dog has absolutely Woody Allen levels of neuroses and 4th of July, New Year’s Eve, and any really loud thunderstorms (which, living in Florida, happen all the time) are just miserable, nightmarish ordeals. There’s not enough “Pet Ease” in the world.
Is it weird that I genuinely feel bad for all of those planning to leave 20 minutes before the show ended to beat traffic crowd? Their plans were RUINED. I bet it was terrible getting out of there.
You jest, but in all honesty, the best thing about fireworks nights at White Sox games is that I can get to the train 20 minutes before all of the suckers who stick around for the fireworks show.
I think this is one of those things that might be great to watch on youTube, really annoying in many ways to watch in real life.
(Insert pre-ejaculation joke here.) Also: penis!
Although this seems absolutely terrifying, it actually looks better than having to spend an hour trying to find a place to sit in a crowd of mostly drunk sailors and then coordinate those directions, by the statue!, over the “music” of one david cook. barbecue’s are tiring and why was it so hot? and things were said that can’t be unsaid and feelings were hurt and trying to watch a firework show in a bad mood is hilarious and I blame david cook.
also how hard is it to hear by the statue? there was only one and i am great at giving directions.
I was in a different place in San Diego watching different fireworks, and before the ones we were going to watch went off, everyone noticed a large orange light behind us. We had no idea what it was, it looked a lot like a second sunset. This morning I now learn that it was the failure of the downtown fireworks.