WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! SPIDERS ARE STILL NOT OK TO INTERACT WITH OR BE AROUND IN ANY CAPACITY, EXCLUDING THOSE SPIDERS THAT ARE ALREADY DEAD AND HANGING UP ON WALLS IN MUSEUMS OR WHATEVER SO KIDS CAN LEARN HOW TO BE AFRAID OF THEM! PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM SPIDERS! IF YOU HAPPEN TO FIND A SPIDER IN YOUR HOUSE PLEASE HAVE SOMEONE ELSE DISPOSE OF THAT SPIDER IMMEDIATELY AND DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TRY TO INTERACT WITH THAT SPIDER. DO NOT TRY TO FILM THAT SPIDER. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU EVER WANT TO GET CLOSE TO THE SPIDER AND FILM IT? WHAT IS THE BEST CASE ENDING SCENARIO FOR THAT? YOU HAVE A VIDEO OF A SPIDER? OH GREAT. WHY WOULD YOU WANT THAT? YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE GOING TO WANT TO SEE YOUR DUMB SPIDER VIDEO? YOU LUNATIC? FIRST OF ALL PEOPLE KNOW WHAT SPIDERS LOOK LIKE ALREADY AND SECOND OF ALL GET AWAY FROM THAT SPIDER!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

And if you’re wondering what happened afterwards, the man behind the camera left this explanation on YouTube:

After that? Well, the spider fell into my camera bag. I then proceeded to pummel said bag in a fit of blind fear for about a minute. Satisfied that I had ruined his day, I shook the upturned bag and he fell out…completely unharmed.

Oh. Good. Good 2 know. Please keep me updated on your horrific nightmare spider shit, I’M JUST DYING TO KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. (Thanks for the tip, Werttrew! I guess!)

Comments (43)
  1. Yeah, this is the wrong reaction to finding a spider. What I normally do is sing a song to the spider about how he is about to die, and then drown him (because he is in my sink).

  2. i was told that spiders are motherly and comforting. but i guess that’s all part of charlotte’s web of lies.

  3. Kelly will be disappointed in me, but I have made a truce with the spiders in my apartment hoping to enlist their aid against centipedes. Because while spiders are creepy, centipedes are horrible death nightmare monsters who survive by eating human sanity and drinking human tears. I am comfortable with my decision.

    • Centipedes are truly disgusting, but I’ve had so many of them in my apartment that I’m kind of desensitized. The first time I had one, I was shaking with fear and had to do a shot before trying to kill it. Now when I see one I’m just like “Ehhhh, I’ll deal with you later.”

      • Catweazle, this is the funniest thing I have heard all day. Where do you live that there are centipedes, you two? Please let me know so that I can never live there. JK I love all of god’s creatures. But seriously where do you live.

        • In answer to your question: Chicago.

          And I would just like to share that perhaps as retribution for me claiming not to be scared of them anymore, I saw a GIANT centipede on my wall about three minutes ago. I was ignoring it while I played my piano, but then it FELL OFF THE WALL and landed on the bookshelf not two feet away from my face. I am not drunk enough for this shit.

    • I don’t kill spiders either. They eat all the other bugs! Keep my apartment tidy, my little minions. No ants or flies or fruit flies or centipedes for Fatima.

    • One time I crushed a centipede in half with a batting glove, and the two bodies scurried off to separate corners of the room. Never again.

    • The enemy of your enemy is your friend. This is a reasonable life choice.

    • There’s a giant mofo spider that hangs across the part of my bedroom window that I keep open at night. I’ve decided I’m totally okay with this because it’s like an extra screen against anything that would actually want to fly in.

    • this is all gross. but, none of these are as gross as human centipedes.

  4. When my brother was in Afghanistan, they told all the new arrivals that camel spiders travel in groups, for every camel spider you see there are at least a dozen you don’t, and that they got their name because a pack of camel spiders can strip an adult camel to the bone in about 30 minutes. Way more terrifying is the truth, though. Their poison is a numbing agent so they inject you and eat a bite-sized hole in your arm or wherever while you sleep, blissfully unaware that you’re being literally eaten alive. I’m not sure what the point of this comment is. Spiders are fascinating, maybe? And if you’re scared of them, people will play mean tricks on you? But sometimes you should definitely be at least wary of them, even if they can’t kill you? I just like the story.

  5. “oh, it’s sort of cute, look at it’s furry little fac- OH SHIT! NOOOOOO!”

  6. I’m too scared to watch – does this spider explode into a million smaller spiders too?

  7. Hey everyone, it’s okay…just look at this picture and feel better!

  8. When that creature from hell jumped my whole body tensed up and jumped. GET AWAY EVERYONE! My reaction to spiders is try and put a glass over them while also trying not to puke/cry and then make some one else kill it or put it outside.

  9. OMG – that was awesome! I’ve never seen a spider deliberately turn at an enemy and jump attack. That only happens at my parent’s house with evil black crickets. WTF crickets? I’m not even filming you – for effs sake!!!!

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