The Duggars, as far as I know, are a very large family with a television show. That is as much as I know about them, and I’m upset that I know even THAT much. So it comes as no surprise to me that I had no idea that they were also SUMMERTIME FUN EXPERTS! Did u guys kno about this? Here we all are, scanning the pages of Summer Vogue or whatever for our hott hott summer tips when we could’ve gotten it all right here, on this blog, from Mom Duggar. Take a look and get ready 4 some fun in the sun! From ONTD:

“[W]e don’t judge anyone that doesn’t have this perspective, but for us, we felt like we needed to be covered from our neck to below our knees mainly because God talks about the thigh being uncovered, and how that’s nakedness and shame,” she writes.

What she says next is sure to raise more than a few eyebrows: Their other motivation for covering up is to avoid “defrauding” others – in other words, encouraging lustful thoughts in passersby. “Now, granted there are a few people out there who could be stirred up by a cardboard box all the way from head to toe, but regardless we want to maintain modest dress,” says Michelle.

You won’t find the Duggars at the beach, either – and it’s not because they don’t like getting sand between their toes. No, the family avoids public beaches and pools to keep the Duggar men from catching an unwanted glimpse of women who, um, don’t feel spiritually called to hide their assets. “[I]t’s just too hard for the guys to try to keep their eyes averted in those situations,” says Michelle.

FEELIN’ HOTT HOTT HOTT! Stay cool this summer with this very cool way to live the one life you’re given on this Earth that will keep you cool in Real Heaven and out of the fiery pits of Real Hell, and serves the True Idea that women are the cause of all the sins in the world.

Comments (36)
  1. How convenient that a woman who’s had 20 kids thinks it’s wrong to wear swimsuits.

  2. Poor men! First women aren’t funny and now they just make you go all crazy with their sexiness so they must be tamed like wild animals. I guess men need to spend more time together. A lot more time together – like getting sweaty and dirty and with a lot of psychical contact.

    • Obviously the implication that women’s shameful bodies are at fault for men’s inability to control themselves is offensive and stupid, but I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t done anything stupid to get closer to a woman’s shameful, sinful, terrible, no good, sexy body.

    • It really is unfair, especially considering that men never make women go all crazy with *their* sexiness because all women hate sex and only do it so that God doesn’t send them to hell for not popping out enough babies.

  3. and we as a society publicly shame Octomom?

  4. Fundamentalist Muslims and Christians have a lot more in common than they would like to admit.

  5. I think having 20 children makes you look more like a sex-crazed she-devil than wearing shorts, but that’s just me.

  6. “We’re sexy and we know it” -Duggars

  7. I literally want to air-drop a Douging Kate Upton over the Duggar Compound.

  8. I think I’m going to start calling the act of beginning sentences with “We don’t judge others, BUT” Duggaring.

  9. Thigh will be done.

  10. So help me if they are wearing mixed fabrics…

    SMITE THEM. SMITE THEM NOW.


  11. I have the weirdest boner right now.

  12. That woman has been pregnant for 14.25 years of her life. You guys should really (or maybe not at all) check out duggarfamily.com. It’s….well, it’s really something.

  13. I thought this was going to be more along the lines of “fun summer activities for a family large enough to fill a summer camp.” Beach would actually top that list because you just have to pay parking. Family movie outing? $300. CPK? $400. Disneyland? Ha.

    But instead it was an extreme anti-feminist spouting some scary-ass shit.

  14. Every time I look at her my uterus hurts.

  15. I’m counting on at least one of the girls to grow up to be a queer feminist porn star and at least two of the boys to be psychosexual serial killers. Or vice versa– I’m not a misandrist, after all!

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