It was June 24th, the day of Paris Hilton’s professional DJ debut at the Sao Paulo Pop Music Festival in Brazil. Paris Hilton awoke with a start — screaming, clawing at her scalp. “Nooooooooo!” she was screaming. “Hey, stop that! What’s wrong with you? Did you have a bad dream?” asked someone who was there, too. “Yes, a terrible dream. Can you tell me what day it is?” Paris Hilton asked. “Oh, it’s June 24th. The day of your professional DJ debut at the Sao Paulo Pop Music Festival in Brazil.” “NOOOOOOOO!” said Paris Hilton, again, louder than before. “What? I thought you wanted to be a professional DJ?” asked the person. “I thought I did, but the day came too quickly! I don’t think I’m ready! I don’t know how to be a professional DJ! I’m not reeaaaaaadddddy!” Paris Hilton had climbed to the floor and now laid there, face-down, limbs close to her body. “You are ready! I think” said the person, “You have your DJ stuff, right?” “Yes, I have my DJ stuff,” said Paris Hilton, still face-down on the floor. “Well, I don’t know. I honestly do not know what to tell you. You really don’t think you’re ready?” “No,” said Paris Hilton, “But I guess life doesn’t stop for when you aren’t ready enough to be a DJ.” “I guess not,” said the person. So Paris Hilton got her DJ stuff and left for her DJ set at the festival.

That night Paris Hilton slept peacefully, assured that she does have what it takes to be a professional DJ. How silly she was to worry. (Via BlameItOn.)

Comments (18)
  1. No thanks. I’m waiting for Gwyneth’s next Goop article on how to DJ your way to a happier home life.

  2. Wow, she really pressed that button like a pro. I wish I were that talented.

  3. What is she using to turn the knobs when both of her hands are in the air?

  4. They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could let her DJ, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

  5. Shouldn’t there be, uh, people dancing somewhere in that video?

  6. she’s better than Skrillex.

  7. Guys, don’t worry. Paris was only the sizzle. JJ Abrams was the steak.

  8. Wow, that’s a deep cut, she really knows her stuff.

  9. So this has what she’s been up to after her last album came out like 5 years ago!

  10. Good Lord I hope Fred and Carrie didn’t get a flyer about this event stuck to their windshied.

  11. I’m hopeful that Paris Hilton can finally bring legitimacy to DJing the way she did to being a pop star, a reality tv star, an heiress and sex tape participant. She’s always breaking down barriers, you guys.

  12. My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is 12 years older than me, lol. We met online at AgeLover. CòM. The premiere online community for older women seek younger men or older men seek younger women to meet and share your interests. Ever feel that you would best enjoy someone who is not in your age group? Leave behind the other general dating sites out there and try us.

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