Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hey kelly
Kelly: HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?
Gabe: are you kidding?
Gabe: it’s too hot!
Gabe: why would you ask that? you don’t think it’s hot?
Kelly: It’s just I feel like you’re always like
Kelly: “It’s not hot enough for me”
Kelly: So I was jw if it was today
Gabe: well you can sw
Gabe: it’s too hot for me
Kelly: How are you otherwise?
Gabe: i think i’m ok?
Gabe: it’s hard to tell
Gabe: it’s literally too hot to tell
Kelly: I hear you
Gabe: how are you?
Kelly: Oh, fine. A little warmer than comfortable, but still riding the high of the new Fiona Apple album
Kelly: So life is mostly fine
Kelly: Except that legendary comedian Adam Carolla said a thing about women and now I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT SIDE IS UP ANYMORE
Gabe: YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Kelly: I CAN HANDLE BARELY ANYTHING AT ALL LET ALONE THE TRUTH
Kelly: First Christopher Hitchens says that women aren’t funny and now Adam Carolla
Kelly: It’s like ALL the great minds are against us
Gabe: well, the important thing is that we’re all talking about
Gabe: what adam corolla thinks
Gabe: about something
Gabe: get those ideas into the marketplace and hash them out!
Kelly: I just feel like Adam Carolla has been keeping his opinions to himself for such a long time that it’s nice that we can finally find out what goes on inside that brain
Kelly: Let us get at those thoughts, Adam Carolla!!!!!
Kelly: Tell us some other ones, you are so selfish with your thoughts, how can one man be so selfish with his thoughts that everyone wants to know?!!
Gabe: i feel like this argument would stop popping up
Gabe: if women were funny
Gabe: you know?
Gabe: we wouldn’t have to argue about whether or not women were funny
Gabe: if there were some funny women out there
Kelly: Occam’s razor
Kelly: It really would only take one funny woman to disprove the argument so yes, the fact that it hasn’t been disproven yet is a little telling
Kelly: A question I have is
Gabe: “are any women funny?”
Gabe: A: no
Kelly: No. It’s what show does Adam Carolla have right now that he had to hire female writers to work on?
Gabe: who cares
Gabe: who cares what show adam corolla is doing right now PERIOD
Kelly: Very true
Kelly: It’s lucky for him that he has such inflammatory opinions about women
Kelly: Or it’s possible that no one would even be talking about him at all right now
Kelly: Not a definite, for sure
Kelly: But possible
Gabe: here is the thing: i don’t know why this is always such a big deal
Gabe: i mean, when some dumb old boor comes out of his cigar bar
Gabe: and says that women aren’t funny
Gabe: who gives a fuck?
Gabe: somehow i find all of the overwrought counter-arguments
Gabe: to be even more insufferable
Gabe: than the dumb thing the dumb dumb said
Kelly: The counter-arguments are difficult
Kelly: Because I’m not sure what else they could be other than like
Kelly: A list of names of funny women
Gabe: which is very problematic
Kelly: Yeah. “Ok, so, here are five then.”
Gabe: well, the problem with a laundry list of funny women
Gabe: is that it actually gives credence to the original argument
Gabe: it meets the original argument on its own terms
Gabe: as opposed to just saying
Gabe: this is ridiculous and we don’t even need to talk about it
Kelly: The fact that it is the argument in the first place invalidates it
Gabe: i mean, the other problem is that the counter-arguments
Gabe: always come off as enraged and self-righteous
Gabe: and while this obviously makes sense
Gabe: because glaring and ignorant sexism/misogyny isn’t cool
Gabe: and stirs up a lot of very powerful and justifiable emotions
Gabe: but, you know, self-righteous fury ISN’T FUNNY
Gabe: there is that old quote
Gabe: about “living well is the best revenge”
Kelly: haha, there is that old quote
Gabe: and i feel like the best response to these things
Gabe: is just to go be funny
Kelly: Right. But I don’t think a funny counter-argument would be any more effective than a non-funny counter-argument
Kelly: Just in that it is still saying
Kelly: “Look you’re wrong and here let me prove it to you”
Gabe: well, here’s the thing: if what he’s saying is false
Gabe: in the way that everyone thinks that it is
Gabe: like, just categorically undeniably wrong
Gabe: then there isn’t a counter-argument
Gabe: because what he’s positing isn’t a real argument
Gabe: in the first place
Gabe: admittedly, in this particular instance
Gabe: adam corrolla actually did bring up
Gabe: some other incendiary points
Gabe: about the merits of employeed female comedians
Kelly: Right. I feel like that is the main reason it is getting so much traction.
Gabe: like, in addition to saying that women weren’t funny
Gabe: he also said
Gabe: that any woman who makes her living by being funny
Gabe: is a scam
Gabe: which, i mean, must have hit pretty close to home for you
Gabe: since you know that you are just an affirmative action hire
Kelly: Yeah, but it didn’t hit close to home in a negative way.
Kelly: Just in a way that’s like
Kelly: “Yeah, it’s definitely a pretty good deal.”
Gabe: your dad sat you down
Gabe: and told you to get a job
Gabe: as a humor writer
Gabe: because you’re worthless
Gabe: i am pretty sure i’m remembering the adam corolla quote correctly
Kelly: Honestly, it’s just the easiest route if you’re mediocre at everything.
Kelly: And you know that they can’t really fire you anyway
Gabe: ugh don’t remind me
Kelly: So, as a women, you’d be foolish not to do it.
Gabe: you ladies are probably just mad because adam corolla won’t marry you and put a baby inside of you
Gabe: and also your periods
Kelly: It’s crazy how you are always so on point about women and why women are upset
Gabe: well i watched What Women Want in 2000
Gabe: and since then
Gabe: it’s been a breeze
Kelly: I think we’re also a little upset because Adam forced us to think of a world in which Joy Behar and Sherri Shepherd were not on TV
Kelly: Which is not a world we like to think about
Kelly: I’ll tell you that
Gabe: oh man, i forgot about that
Gabe: his two great examples
Gabe: on the hit comedy The View
Kelly: He is right though
Kelly: That if The View were full of men it probably wouldn’t be on TV
Kelly: +1 point for Adam Carolla
Gabe: but it would be funnier
Kelly: It would be funnier and it would do a lot more work.
Gabe: sliding doors, kelly, sliding doors