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Can you feel the artificially manufactured excitement? Hugh Jackman should pee his pants any minute now! We’ll be livetweeting the red carpet, Barbara, and of course, the actual show ALL NIGHT via twitter.com/videogum after the jump (and if you reply to @videogum on Twitter, it will also show up here). We also set up a special chat room (is it 1995 yet?) where we can all share in the pageantry together. Check it out here. Between the tweeting and chatting there is no reason to fall asleep before midnight. Let’s all pretend that this shit really MATTERS!

LIVEBLOG:
Because he LOST, Gabe has two weeks to see MADEA GOES TO JAIL. He will be writing about it here. Good night, everyone!

11:53: Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire: Lindsay: 13, Gabe 10.

11:47: G: by not winning the oscar, did mickey rourke’s career just end again? or is he going to keep playing so many broken down pieces of meat forever?

11:44: G: sean penn wins for best actor, oscar poolz just got fuck’d.

11:43: Best Actor, Sean Penn: Lindsay 12, Gabe 10

11:30: Best Actress: Kate Winslet Lindsay 12, Gabe 10. (YES!)

11:29: G: Kate Winslet needs to do some cardio. She climbed like four steps and she’s breathing like Bruce Villanch.

11:20: Best Director: Danny Boyle. Lindsay 11, Gabe 9

11:19: David Fincher looks like a Tim and Eric character.

11:13: L: The Parade of Death is just not the same without the disproportionate clapping.

11:07: Best Foreign Language Film: Departures: Lindsay 10, Gabe 8

11:01 Best Original Song: Slumdog Millionaire, “High Ho, High Ho”. Lindsay: 10, Gabe 8

11:00: Gabe: It takes a Best Songs Medley to show how bad these songs really are. On their own it’s harder to tell.

10:54: Best Original Score: Slumdog Millionaire: Lindsay 10, Gabe 8

10:45: G: The honorary tribute to Jerry Lewis makes him seem like a really great guy. Then Eddie Murphy said “from one Nutty Professor to another” and ruined it.

10:41: L: “Jerry Lewis likes to say he gets paid to do what children are punished for.” No, HUGH JACKMAN does that. (Because he pees in his pants.)

10:40: G: My friend just IM’ed me to ask why everyone’s suits are overstuffed tonight? And it’s true, everyone looks like they’re in that Levi’s commercial where they seal their pants shut and fill them with the air. No answerz here.

10:36: Best Film Editing: Slumdog. Lindsay 10, Gabe 8

10:32: Lindsay: Will someone please tell their children to go to bed???

10:32: Gabe: Slumdog Millionaire wins sound mixing over Dark Knight and Wall-E? SOUNDS like bullshit.

10:31: Best Sound Mixing: Slumdog Millionaire, Lindsay 9: Gabe 7

10:29: Best Sound Editing: The Dark Knight. Lindsay: 8, Gabe 7

10:26: Visual Effects: Benjamin Button, Lindsay 7, Gabe 7

10:17: Best Documentary Short: Smile, Pinky! Lindsay: 6, Gabe 6

10:14: Best Documentary: Man On Wire, Lindsay 6, Gabe 5

10:10: Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger: Lindsay 6, Gabe 5. (Also, aww.)

10:05: G: Naturally they choose Christopher Walken to present Michael Shannon, the young and poor man’s Christopher Walken.

9:50: Best live action short: Toyland (translation.) Lindsay 5, Gabe 4.

9:48: L: Um, because it was one of the best movies of the year.

9:47: G: Judd Apatow included a clip from Forgetting Sarah Marshall into his short (lazy) Oscar film, making that TWO references to FSM in this year’s Academy Awards. Surprising!

9:35: Cinematography: Slumdog. Lindsay 5, Gabe 4.

9:32: G: Ben Stiller walked out in a Joaquin Phoenix costume. Can’t wait for his Christian Bale melt down!

9:29: G: Apparently this is when they are going to give out the award for Best Kiss.

9:25: G: Robert Pattinson looks like a vampire. So in retrospect that was a smart casting choice.

9:24: Makeup: Button, Lindsay: 4, Gabe 4. We both know a lot about makeup.

9:21: Costume Design: The Duchess. Lindsay 3, Gabe 3.

9:17: Art Direction: Benjamin Button. Lindsay: 3, Gabe: 2

9:15: In presenting the award for Art Direction, SJP says “The show now moves from the page to the stage.” Are we all done with the writing awards? Perfect.

9:09: Best animated short: Le Poisson…

9:06: Aniston has probably been practicing her Eve voice for weeks.

9:05: Best Animated Film Wall E duh. (Lindsay 3: Gabe: 1)

9:01: Best Adapted Screenplay: Slumdog Millionaire. Lindsay: 2 Gabe: 0

8:57: L: Best Original Screenplay: Milk. Tie. Lindsay: 1, Gabe: 0

8:52: G: Steve Martin is presenting. Get ready for 45 minutes of self-indulgent banjo.

8:51: L: Tina Fey! Tina Fey! It’s Tina Fey’s voice!

8:47: L: The “leaked Oscar memo” was wrong. Duh, but now proven duh.

8:46: L: Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz. Lindsay: 1 Gabe: 0

8:45: G: It’s reassuring to know that even with the economy collapsing and the world seeming in total disarray, that Tilda Swinton doesn’t feel the need to not dress like a lesbian alien from planet “Medicine Please?

8:42: G: HOLY SHIT, EVA MARIE SAINT, GOLDIE HAWN, ANJELICA HOUSTON, TILDA SWINTON, AND WHOOPI GOLDBERG? NO WONDER THEY DIDN’T ANNOUNCE THE PRESENTERS AHEAD OF TIME, I AM GOING CRAZY OVER HERE!

8:40: L: That opener should be titled “Managing Expectations.”

8:39: G: The whole opening Oscar medley was just an ad for Wolverine? Fair enough.

8:34: G: Remember when Harvey Milk was assassinated?

8:30: G: The question, of course, is not IF Hugh Jackman will pee his pants, but WHEN?

8:24: G: Jack Black’s “red carpet” interview (in a bar? in a basement?) was the most genuine thing he’s done in five years. What, no karate kicks?

8:23: L: Interviewer to Jack Black: “I want to have cocktails with you.” Jack Black: “You look great.”

8:19: They really don’t need to announce the designers who dressed the accountants. just like they don’t really need to show the accountants at all.

8:13: RDJ’s wife is his date “for the rest of this incarnation.” That’s all: that’s what he said.

8:11: Tim Gunn to Mickey Rourke: “What are you wearing tonight?” Don’t you mean WHEN?

8:06 What are Brad and Angelina so busy doing that they can’t be bothered with a red carpet interview? It’s Tim Gunn, you monsters, SHOW SOME RESPECT.

7:59: barbara walters has no more questions, which is the exact opposite of what that did for the rest of us

7:58: STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT dsjflakjldkfa.

7:57: No, Barbara, you should not mention any lapdances, ever.

7:52: Hugh Jackman: “the Oscars could do with a little more show and a little less chat.” Spoken like a man who pees his pants. Constantly.

7:40 OOOOH, Mel Gibson on Jimmy Kimmel Live after the show. Jimmy Kimmel making POWER MOVEZ.

7:36 WE HAVE BEEN HAVING SOME DIFFICULTIES WITH THE LAWNMOWER MAN, BUT I THINK WE ARE READY TO DO THIS THING!

LIVETWITTER:

Comments (124)
  1. The Oscars are tonight? That explains a lot (like the fact that every news outlet has been talking about that very fact non stop today).

  2. I feel so bad that you guys have to watch the Oscars. But, thanks for doing it so I don’t have to.

  3. sed3  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  4. I have one of those radios that picks up tv channels and am shocked (shocked!) at how boring this is when I can’t see what they’re wearing or Hugh Jackman’s wet spots.

    Thanks for liveblogging, videogumshoes!

  5. Too much Mickey Rourke already. I’m going to have nightmares tonight.

  6. no didnt hugh say “a little more show and a little less biz”?
    or am i not getting a joke you made just now

  7. mickey rourke was heartbreaking, i almost cried :(

  8. I’m trying to be excited about the Oscars, but I know I’ll be really into it for 15 minutes, then put to sleep for the next 3 hours.

  9. Adam  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +1

    Jack Black- recipient of the most awkward red carpet moment 2009

  10. jojo  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 0

    the musical director is your boyfriend

  11. joe  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 -2

    whose the girl in the picture? she looks hot

  12. I am getting older and dumber, so please pardon my technological ignorance… Do I have to refresh this page over and over or is there some way to get your blog comments to stream?

  13. booacaust  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 0

    What is this Hugh Jackman musical tribute? Just what?
    I don’t usually watch the Oscars, is this shit normal?

  14. booacaust  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +3

    Wait, I’m sorry.
    The Reader = weird people dancing in metallic spandex?

  15. i am feeling so much secondhand embarrassment for hugh jackman right now.

  16. Yeah Billy Crystal used to do it every year.

  17. Well, he might not be the Sexiest Man Alive but Jackman did have me laughing quite a bit during his opening number.

  18. Steve open it!!!

  19. sol  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +1

    you know what? i really enjoyed hugh jackman. “i’m wolverine”? amazing.

  20. Violet  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +5

    Why is Whoopie always wearing sunglasses indoors? Are those Transitions?

  21. This is unbearable. Why are they all crying?

  22. Adam  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 -1

    Penolope Cruz reads wayyy too much into the Oscars

  23. This night will be very long.

  24. evelyn  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +2

    this is kind of like tribal council, only you get more famous

  25. I fell asleep. Did Mickey Rourke punch anyone yet?

  26. Awe Tina Fey and Steve Martin. They make me happy. Woh, Steve Martin is second most important of the two! The crowd just made him sad inside!

  27. Can Tina be my reader?

  28. diiied when steve martin told tina fey not to fall in love w/ him

  29. that was a subtle shout out to tenacious D, i could sense it

  30. aw jennifer aniston and I both sometimes drunkenly slip into a wall-e voice.

  31. yes domo arigato mr roboto!

  32. wonder what movie Lindsay will make Gabe watch, maybe The Last Kiss?

  33. Guys, remember when Steve forgot to open it?

  34. An Aniston versus Jolie fight might be just the thing to turn this show into the Source Awards.

  35. Touché Lindsay, Tooo – shay

  36. Seriously though, we can fucking move on with the whole Hugh Jackman peed his pants thing can’t we?

    No? Oh right, it’s videogum (gabe).

    Silly me

  37. Pattinson us so gross. Even moreso than Rourke.

  38. did they really just slip waht happened in vegas and high school musical in there???

  39. When does the Eastbound & Down liveblog start?

  40. Did they just show clips from What Happens in Vegas and Meet the Browns? Achievement in film.

  41. bryan  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +4

    Haha. Joaquin Phoenix. clever, Ben. Clever.
    100 comments by 10pm ’08!

  42. Allah, I don’t think we can get past it until hugh gets past it

  43. Natalie looks lovely. Ben is a clown…that makes me sad.

  44. I was kinda hoping for a christian bale skit

  45. Adam  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +4

    Ben Stiller: bumped up on joaquin Phoenix’s hit hist

  46. krb  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +1

    so apparently all films begin with a supporting actress, then the writing, then stage…

  47. lisi  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 -21

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  48. Jessica Biel, her read not so good.

  49. It’s slightly more difficult for me to hate Hugh Jackman after seeing his little opening skit tonight…

    Luckily not impossible, though.

  50. James Franco is the Best

  51. Beyonce. I need to go vomit now.

  52. rrpf  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 -3

    live action short was a complete ripoff. Toyland was my 4th or 5th pick. What is it about WWII and Jews that Oscar voters just go nuts for? New Boy or The Pig should have won by a mile. Even Auf der Strecke was better than Toyland. I will say that the French entry was horridly, self-indulgent crap. Very glad it didn’t win. Am I the only person who saw these??

  53. If I go to hell, I know what will be awaiting me.

  54. If there’s another songnumber after this one, I might actually hurt myself.

  55. Sky  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +3

    A standing ovation???!??!!!??! Someone shoot me.

  56. Beyonce needs to brush up on her lip-syncing. And Hugh needs a clean pair of pants.

  57. I changed the channel to men in black II to avoid that musical number. Also, isnt it a bit hypocritical to be honoring excellence in film, but yet run trailers for movies like the proposal?

  58. And now let’s hear from the Oscar Cautionary Tale. Cuba….?

  59. bran  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +6

    Cuba got to go to the Oscars after all. aww.

  60. Adam  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +2

    still waiting for someone to mention Barack Obama…

  61. Bill Mahr’s blazer looks like a car seat.

  62. Bill Maher’s show is pretty good, but he is quickly approaching the worst? Really, Bill? Are you that self-indulgent. You really loved that movie where you DEBATED with THEME PARK MASCOTS that much? Go to jail.

  63. hey guys so the “chat room” thing is a joke, right? like these comments are what you meant? because you referenced a comment somebody made “in the VG chat” on twitter and i can’t figure out what that means…..am i an idiot?

  64. BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!

  65. Technical awards are so interesting.

  66. didn’t somebody tell their kids to go to bed a while ago? it was a british guy because he was referencing ‘across the pond’ or whatever, maybe the slumdog guy (not danny boyle)?

  67. It’s official: Will Smith is aware of youtube!

  68. So, the connection b/t Eddie Murphy and Jerry Lewis is THE NUTTY PROFESSOR, right?

  69. Zack  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 -9

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  70. I love Philip Seymour Hoffman’s doo-rag.
    That’s my president right there.

  71. ohman, i just realized i was reading the post backwards. LOL

  72. Wall-E should of won the sound mixing and editing awards. The characters communicated through sounds! The whole thing was beeps and boops instead of dialogue. The Academy is biased against animated movies.

  73. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  74. hb  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +5

    That song montage was desperate for an incredibly pregnant lady.

  75. lisi  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 -2

    don’t worry, you can bet the winners from now on will be either slumdog or benjamin button, but more then likely slumdog, so if your betting, put your money on the one noones heard of in our world. *L*

    • hb  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +2

      Why would Queen Latifah do that?
      “Hey, we would like you to sing while everyone cries, culminating with your big finish and the blubbering over the passing of Minghella, Pollack and Newman. You game??”

  76. Aadm  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +2

    MIA got robbed!

  77. JC Penney is not going to happen. Stop trying to make JC Penney happen!

  78. I was hoping M.I.A. was gonna come out with her baby and do the damn thing.

  79. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  80. bryan  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +1

    Jai Ho was the best.

  81. wait, why isn’t everyone saying Boom Goes The Dynamite yet?

  82. Lindsay, i think one of the Man on Wire guys told their kids to go to bed.

  83. hb  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 0

    is Denzel boycotting?

  84. Joey  |   Posted on Feb 22nd, 2009 +9

    The best part of Winslet’s win is that her role on Extras predicted it.

  85. so…isnt this all kinda bullshit? I mean….why is someone in a critically acclaimed movie any better of an actor or a sound guy or whatever than a guy on a shitty movie. So the sound in Slumdog is really good? Or is it a good movie and it has sound so the sound guy is nominated. Wouldnt the sound on say Paul Blart be technically more difficult with all the fart noises and such? Your basically giving a good movie an extra award so at the end you can say it won 7 oscars or whatever. I guess its like how you have to be on a good team to win a heisman. I just dont think anyone can tell one sound guy from another at a certain point so whats the point?

    • Paul Blart may have had fart noises but Slumdog had a giant pool of human shit. That is why Slumdog wins!

    • I completely agree. Best Sound Mixing could have been included with the other technical awards at the other Oscars. Who cares and who can tell? What the devil is sound mixing with regard to a movie?

    • Each category’s nominations are by those in that field. So it was sound mixers doing the nominating. Granted, even if Paul Blart had the most earth-shattering sound mixing of all time to a sound mixer’s specialized ear, it would probably still be left out, but I think sound mixers probably take their shit seriously and don’t just nominate popular films.

      • True. Also something i hadn’t thought about was that by only nominating people from “good” movies you are rewarding more than just their sound mixing abilities. Their judgment in choice of project is being rewarded and by extension their agents and managers are being rewarded. So even thought the Paul Blart sound mixer might be a technical bad-ass…..he/she still fucking agreed to work on Paul Blart and therefore is not as vital to the movie business as the sound guy for Milk or Slumdog.

  86. I hate kids but those kids make even my heart melt. Yay Slumdog Millionare.

  87. lisi  |   Posted on Feb 23rd, 2009 -11

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • hb  |   Posted on Feb 23rd, 2009 +4

      it has made a 100m at the box office, Lisi. That is an awful lot of esoteric rich folks. It is hardly “The Last Emperor.”

    • sol  |   Posted on Feb 23rd, 2009 +1

      I don’t know- it may be a wild guess, but maybe the problem is that actually good movies don’t get the exposure they deserve, and it’s not really the Oscars fault. By no means I’m trying to defend the academy, but you may be missing the point: no matter how much money a movie has made, what’s awarded is quality.* So yeah, thank god the oscars are making these movies famous or whatever, otherwise we’ll see that Paul Barts dude getting an award from Mike Myers, and OMG I can’t wait for the Peoples Choice!!1!

      *what’s awarded is not quality

  88. Patrick  |   Posted on Feb 23rd, 2009 -3

    Thanks to Sean Penn an American won an acting oscar, and they said it never be done.

  89. Patrick  |   Posted on Feb 23rd, 2009 -4

    Thanks to Sean Penn an American won an acting oscar, and they said it never be done.

  90. bryan  |   Posted on Feb 23rd, 2009 +1

    Well you got it to over 100 comments, Gabe.

  91. frost nixon was ROBBED!

  92. Holy crap. No Country last year and Slumdog this year! When the hell did movies worthy of awards actually start winning them?! Awesome!

    Mickey was robbed though!

  93. jboogie  |   Posted on Feb 23rd, 2009 +5

    mickey rourke shouldve won.

  94. I was underwhelmed by Slumdog but I can understand why it was so successful. I didn’t watch this year, just used videogum for updates. I stopped caring when Crash won for best picture. Ehh.

  95. If “The Wrestler” was set in Nazi Germany and The Ram was Ram-slamming Nazi’s he would of totally won an Oscar.

  96. You bet your ass Harvey Milk couldn’t have stood up to a staple gun and barbed wire.

  97. It seems like you have to play a real character in a biopic to win Oscars now. Seriously, they should of just named Tina Fey “Best Actress” for her Sarah Palin impression.
    If Mickey had played The Ultimate Warrior instead of the fictional Ram he would of won tonight.

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