1. Have an honest discussion about something important with a friend.
  2. Learn how to make cold-brew coffee.
  3. Have a nice, simple dinner.
  4. Plan a trip to the beach.
  5. Clean your winter coats and put them away for the season.
  6. Read a little more of that book you’ve been meaning to finish.
  7. Tidy up around the apartment.
  8. Practice your hobby, unless your hobby is doing stupid shit like jumping across subway tracks.
  9. Brush your teeth.
  10. Close your eyes and breathe.

(Via Gothamist.)

Comments (22)
  1. Nevermind the gap.

  2. 11. Recap True Blood.

  3. 13. Be at work, glaring at your monitor, while you mutter under your breath about the youth of today.

  4. 11. Videotape some children singing “Somebody that I used to know”

  5. My sympathies to their mothers.

  6. 11. Rob a child/fall off a rocking horse/have a robot tell you you’re going to die.

  7. Come on, at least don’t wear tight jeans when doing this.

  8. WE need A NEW tag:

    “IT’S LIFE, JUMP INTO LI–[DEMOLISHED by oncoming train]“

  9. Is it just me, or does there seem to be a noticeable drop in production value between the first Internet Explorer 9 commercial and this one?

  10. the “found footage” movie genre has officially jumped the tracks.

  11. AGH first the models now this? Everyone please be mindful of, yes, 1, the gap, and 2, YOUR DAMNED LEGS!

  12. 11. Don’t think about polar bears crashing through the glass

  13. LOL. I’m surprised that muthafucka got air with those tight ass jeans.

  14. Sex change operation!

  15. The title on the Youtube video was truncated and read “Two Wild & Crazy Guys Jump Across NYC Subway Tr…” And I was pretty excited. Then I watched the video and was very confused and disappointed.

  16. Hear that? Is that an oncoming train? Nah… just Darwin, dragging the rake.

  17. You know the name of the 3rd friend who didn’t make the jump? Track.

    “…And the winner is, Captain Clown!” {yay, whoo! clap clap…)

    Wow, thanks for this pun award, I’d like to thank my dad who always encouraged me to say stupid things, god of course, and a special thanks to Sarah and Todd Palin who turned the noun “track” into someone’s name, and without whom this pun wouldn’t have worked.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.