OH SNAP! MOVIES! Hahaha. Do you know how hard it is to pretend like you have something new to say as an introduction each week to a roundup of movie trailers? We can talk about the new trailers themselves after the jump and we will, but this part? This ho-humming around pretending like this is somehow an equally interesting part of the conversation? It’s literally just to fill up the visual field of the pre-jump post and make it look like a blog. Hardest life in the world. No one’s life is harder. Everyone sympathizes with me. People are writing tweets to Barack Obama as we speak, asking him to fire my boss. Whatever. There are some good trailers this week! LOLOLOLOL.

Django Unchained

I feel like I’ve said this before, but I think that the only post that I’ve written in my tenure at Videogum that I would like to repudiate is my own review of Inglourious Basterds. (That’s not entirely true, I can think of at least one other post that I am not even going to mention because I genuinely regret it and you will never even guess which one it is!) It’s a much better and more interesting movie than I gave it credit for, and I need to be an adult and separate it from my hatred of Grind House and my genuine feeling that Tarantino himself, the person, is a bully. Anyway, this looks pretty good and I will see it, although it is funny that Tarantino is clearly picking pretty low-hanging fruit for his revisionist histories. “Imagine if Hitler got murdered by some Jews instead.” “Imagine if the slaves didn’t have to be slaves and got revenge on the slavers.” Sure. Kind of easy to get people on your side, but yes. Also, have you guys watched many actual spaghetti westerns? They’re great. Watch those first.

The Perks of Being A Wallflower

The exuberant confidence and self-knowledge that teenagers have in these movies does NOT remind me of me or any of the adolescents that I knew. Like, we had a ton of fun back then and I still love my friends from high school very much, but we weren’t, like, fully formed human beings with deep wells of rock solid awareness. Who are these fucking mutants?

Wreck-It Ralph

This looks pretty good, although I’m not usually a fan of throwback references. Also, what modern child is going to get a Q-bert joke? I don’t even think anyone under the age of 40 gets a Q-bert joke these days. But I love John C. Reilly and I love animated romps! It looks kind of like Monsters Inc. but with more Razr scooters.

Flight

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA. Sorry. Very serious. Serious face. “This plane, it’s Unstoppable Too!” This movie finally answers the question: what if Sully Sulzberger wasn’t just an American hero but also an alcoholic?

The Babymakers

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Comments (55)
  1. Why is Tarantino a bully again?

  2. Best New Party Game: Future Tarantino Revisionist Histories
    Tarantino writes a bunch of classic kung fu movies and and another directer borrows from them

  3. This week blew me away with Wreck-It Ralph, Django Unchained, and (to a slightly lesser extent but definitely still noteworthy) Flight (Zemeckis’ first live-action film in over a decade).

    Right off the bat, Gabe, as far as Django not being a slave– he’s still a slave. Christoph Waltz’s character owns him. In the trailer he clearly states why he needs Django, and if Django helps him he’ll reward Django with his freedom (something tells me Django will get his freedom his own way as opposed to Waltz ‘rewarding’ him with it). Also, blood spatter on cotton? Perfect. Direct, but perfect.

    Wreck-it Ralph is going to be great. I’m calling it. It’s like Roger Rabbit or Toy Story, with its level of cool diverse pop culture nostalgia integration (cartoon characters, toys, video game characters). Jane Lynch’s character? I would play that game if she was my commander. The voice talent in this movie! John C. is the man.

    Flight. I like Denzel. I like him when he is in good stuff. Haven’t caught too much of his stuff lately. I think the trailer gives too much away. But Zemeckis, when he isn’t taking up residence in the Uncanny Valley of his weird mo-cap films, makes good movies! SO FINGERS CROSSED. I definitely posted this trailer on my mom’s fb page, because she’s a fan of Denzel. Her comment back? “Looks intense! Nobody ‘s better than Denzel!” You said it, Mother.

    • I love the things moms write in response to links and things posted on their walls. They’re so sincere!

    • Totally agree on all 3 of those movies. I can’t believe how excited I am for Wreck-It Ralph! I can’t remember the last time I was excited for a non-Pixar Disney movie!

      And I really like the flight trailer, but my opinion might biased because of the use of Gimme Shelter (I have a Gimme Shelter concert film poster behind me as I type this). Still the story looks intriguing.

  4. I took a film class my last semester of college (deep, I know) and my professor and some huge nerds (not me!) in my class absolutely LOATHED Tarantino. Just talking about how unoriginal he is yada yada. So every time I watch one of his movies, I feel like I should too, but I seriously loved Inglorious Basterds. Good story. Happy Friday!

    • I have a friend who’s in film school at UCSD. She was in a group project and all these kids were talking about Eisenstein and Fellini and all that. They asked her (she’s a little older than college age) what her favorite movie was, and she said “The Godfather.” None of them had seen it.

      • It’s a great movie, but that doesn’t prove those people are jerks, does it? There are too many essential films for a bunch of dumb college kids to have see them all, or even some select group of them.

      • I used to be one of those assholes who liked “art” films and indie shit, but I don’t know what happened. I own every Ernest movie and watch a lot of SyFy and Lifetime movies. The other day I made my roommate watch Hard Ticket to Hawaii, No Holds Barred, and The Apple. I really wish I could sit in on a film class just to horrify film students with my love of Wayne’s World.

    • As you may have discovered in your film class (I’ve taken a few of them), everyone in film class is pretty much an asshole.

      • The online discussion board was assholeism at its finest. Wish I still had the link to it so I could go and post “Michael Bay is my spirit animal!!!!!!”

      • oh man, I was a film studies major, and just a massive film nerd in general. one communications class that was one of the required course for the major we had to do the ice-breaker stuff where the last question in a series we had to answer was “what is the one thing you think you know more about than anyone else in the room”

        now, I actively avoid trying to make any claim to know more than anyone about anything…so I answered, “I wouldn’t say I know more, but I could certainly hold my own when it comes to movies. I could talk about them all day every day.” The very next person was this guy who kinda looked like patton oswalt with horrific acne – one of those 29 year olds still getting their BA for some reason – says with affectation, “I would say the Cinema. Hands down….and i’m an expert in Italian Neorealism, in particular.”

        film students are the worst.

        • Oh god, just found a paper from someone in my class titled “Godard’s Marxist Message, as Demonstrated through his Innovative Filmmaking Techniques in My Life to Live”. Let’s determine how insufferable this is.

          http://www.jtbrandt.com/essays/godards-marxist-message

          • Film studies classes practically ENCOURAGE bad writing, though. My TA used to get angry if we wrote anything other than a series of direct sentences that were manipulative and untrue in that awful “first essay” kind of way. The lighting in the Godfather represents X, as demonstrated by this scene, and this scene, and this scene. Also he was super obsessed with penises.

          • I refuse to read it, but actually that doesn’t sound so bad. Godard did have innovative filmmaking techniques full of Marxist messages. He’s just hitting an easy target.

        • to be fair, it probably took him like 10 minutes to think of something, and then the person directly next to him (you) steals his idea.

        • Film students rank up with the top assholes along with philosophy majors (esp ones who minor in Womens Studies). Haha.

    • I know that everyone loves him, but I’ve never really been into Tarantino. I haven’t seen Basterds, which maybe I would like, but none of his other movies were that interesting to me. I kind of feel like a terrible person for saying that.

  5. Agreed about your comment on the Perks of Being a Wallflower trailer. I was a retarded asshole in high school and so were all my friends. Maybe still am?

    • that was a book that “spoke to me” in high school. i loved it. the movie? i don’t know what that is.

      • I agree explainer guy! Chbosky directed the movie too so I guess I have hopes…but that just means they’ll be that much more crushed when it’s not how I imagined it.

      • oh yeah, I loved the book too. but the point he is trying to make in the comment above is that, in most teen movies, that dialog is written by adults about how they THINK teens act. most teens are not deep, well adjusted individuals. i know this because i have four cousins who are in 9th, 11th, and 12th grade and i am horrified about how they seriously don’t care about anything. they don’t read, they’re not creative at all, like all they do is watch Glee and text. haha fuck, am I an OLD?

  6. I would pay 1 million dollars to have Waltz do his weird, flat American accent for my GPS.

  7. Was really hoping Wreck-it Ralph would be a Simpsons spinoff that follows the trials and tribulations of Ralph Wiggum.

  8. Re: “Wreck-It Ralph”, I’m calling it out – looks like they managed to make a 50/50 hybrid of “Toy Story” and “Monsters Inc”, where product placement can pass for “cameos” or “callbacks”. It still looks funny, I just wish it didn’t seem so cynical. #Grinch

  9. can we please retire “Gimme Shelter” from movie trailers….”Once in a Lifetime” too, for that matter.

  10. I think Inglourious Basterds may be in my top 10 movies. I love it. SO much!

    • hated it the first time i saw it. the whole time all I could picture was Quentin Tarantino talking out every scene – like the michael bay ‘splosion bit on South Park. every line I could only hear in his voice followed by, “ALRIIIIIIIGHT, eh eh” and it made me mad.

      then I watched it again almost 2 years later and enjoyed it very much.

    • Seeing it in the theaters was one of the best times I’ve ever had at the movies.

  11. I have a couple of friends (hold your applause) who are flight attendants, and apparently pilots flying while drunk is not exactly uncommon. Usually if there are a few hours between an A to B flight and its B to A return, the pilots will pass this time in the airport bar. Thing is, unless something goes horribly wrong, planes kind of just fly themselves these days. It’s not like driving a car where you need to be alert all the time, there are not many obstacles that high up, and your instruments give you plenty of advanced warning when they do appear. Planes land themselves with the input of the distance to the runway, and once you set a cruise speed and direction you kind of just sit back.

  12. Disappointed they didn’t show Django playing cello in the trailer, the man’s a prodigy.

  13. “‘Imagine if Hitler got murdered by some Jews instead.” “Imagine if the slaves didn’t have to be slaves and got revenge on the slavers.” Sure. Kind of easy to get people on your side, but yes.”

    Gabe, I don’t think Tarantino gives a shit if anybody is on his side (whatever that means in this instance). I think he cares about making fun movies that are reminiscent of the movies he loved growing up.

    “Also, have you guys watched many actual spaghetti westerns? They’re great. Watch those first.”

    Agreed. I just watched The Man With No Name trilogy for the first time a few weeks ago and it was awesome.

  14. I love what Tarantino is doing there… the historical fiction minority revenge thing. I can’t wait till he makes one for women. And I hope that Christoph Waltz is also in it.

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