It’s a good thing the “journalists” went around the neighborhood and asked people what Kool Aid brings to mind. That alone should earn them the Pulitzer, but if it doesn’t, I’m sure the randomly inserted clip of Ice Cube rapping cut haphazardly into an archival Kool Aid commercial will clinch the award. This is just a good piece of work all around. What up, Detroit! As someone who has spent a fair amount of time in Detroit, I know that it’s a big and complicated city and that it’s not ALL gun battles over who makes the best Kool Aid (which, wait, there are different ways to make Kool Aid?! That will teach me for bringing a prepackaged recipe to a gun fight). They also have a sushi restaurant with a nightclub in the basement! And a casino! But on the other hand, as someone who has spent a fair amount of Detroit, it’s kind of like how no one was surprised that when some dude ate another dude’s face in broad daylight that it happened in Florida. You know? Everything in its place. (Thanks for the tip, again, Chris Trash.)

Comments (22)
  1. Whoa, how many times did you tip this, Chris?

  2. Classic mistake, guys, bringing a gun to a punch fight.

  3. Based on my extensive listening of Ghostface Killah CD’s, I’m going to go out on a limb here and argue that Kool-Aid is probably code for crack.

    • I was just writing the same thing… but from my perspective as someone who used to write for the local news.

      It’s either crack or a crime of passion. My guess is a crime of passion, specifically one in which one dude was bragging about being better at boning the same chick than the other guy. (And Kool Aide is either code for his dick and/or a metaphor for some secret Detroit-based sex act.)

      When that severed head was found in Hollywood I had a running bet with my old coworker over the circumstances. He said it would crime of passion, I said it was a cartel giving out a very clear warning to other cartels. And you know what? Someone is getting a free Diet Coke the next time she visits her old stomping grounds.

      I have to say, though, those producers did a hell of a spin job. Can’t wait to see what they do with TOXIC MOLD.

  4. OK, Detroit is in a state of disrepair… granted. Regardless, it’s not exactly a small market. I can’t believe how bad the production/editing of this segment was. This would have gotten me a D back in video production. Just sayin’.

  5. This is why I always drink Hawaiian Punch. You never end up with anything much worse than a broken nose.

  6. “And if this is our future, this is scary”

    The fear mongering is strong in this one.

  7. never mind all that, whose WAS THE BETTER KOOL AID?!

  8. Very good job all around to the editor of this package. Especially the 1-2 sec. shot that comes around 1:10.

  9. As foretold in the ancient texts, The Kool-Aid wars have begun.

  10. I want that reporter to narrate all of the news always.

  11. Also. I absolutely love that the Impala was purple.

  12. I know who they should double date with…they can bring the cookies and these guys can bring the Kool Aid.

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