I’m not going to beat around the bush with you guys, the big trailer this week is for Les Miserables, which is like saying the only thing we have to drink is sparkling red wine. You might love sparkling red wine, in which case you’re in luck, because there’s tons of it. But you might hate sparkling red wine, in which case I’m not sure the trailer about Bruce Willis being some kind of gambling entrepreneur but also a romantic comedy dad is going to do it for you. There is a good trailer for a new documentary that looks great, though. Oh! Wait! Nevermind! I forgot: there’s the new trailer for the Dame Jeremy Renner Jason Bourne. Something for everyone. You’ll be fine. Enjoy!


Les Misérables

Javert hits women. Not interested.

Bourne Legacy

There is seriously nothing to even say about this. It’s already the best.

Branded

There are at least 60 years of movies about consumerism as narcotizing mind control, so you can throw this one on the pile in terms of anyone having anything of any real value to say on the subject, probably. We get it! We like to buy stuff so that we forget about dying for three seconds! But it looks kind of fun. My favorite part, though, is Yepple. Good satire. Yepple. Oh wait, no, my favorite part is that the mind control aliens still use Photoshop.

Lay the Favorite

No, totally! This for sure looks like a real movie and this trailer makes sense. WHAT ON EARTH? When was this made? It looks like they scrapped together discarded footage from Ruthless People (1986) and then ran it through the Get Shorty (1995) filter. Let’s see it! It looks completely bonkers!

Holy Motors

Haha. Whatever, France.

The Apparition

Mind ghosts hit women. Not interested.

The Imposter

This looks very very great. Do you know about this story? I have heard about this story before, I don’t remember, probably on a podcast LOL, but this story is bonkers and this movie looks so well done and spooky and good!

Comments (44)
  1. Mmmm Anne Hathaway (Home Simpson drooling gargle noise)

  2. I’m confused, they made a movie based on a Coldplay video?

  3. Wow, Braindead looks really good!

  4. NORMALLY I’m all for MAKING FUN of those dumb French FUCKS, but I’M REALLY excited about HOLY MOTORS thanks to the REVIEW OVER at the AV Club.

    http://www.avclub.com/articles/cannes-2012-day-seven-leos-caraxs-bugfuck-masterpi,75534/

  5. It sounds very tacky, but a sparkling red wine can actually be quite offbeat and fun. It doesn’t have to be the Les Mis of beverages – it can also be the Avenue Q, or 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. Though yeah, assigning it to musical theater status is pretty spot on.

    (In this metaphor world Harold Pinter is a cabernet, David Lynch is a glass of absinthe and Vin Deisel is a jack and coke.)

  6. 1. I don’t care what y’all say. I AM EXCITED FOR LES MIS, OKAY?? I DO WHAT I WANT.
    2. I SOO want to see that Imposter movie. I heard about it on NPR! Haha! Nerd! I’m a nerd. At least it wasn’t a podcast! (JK because I listen to so many podcasts, it is a wonder I didn’t hear about this from an NPR podcast.)

  7. Branded is really pissing me off.

    REALLY PISSING ME OFF.

    • “So we took Idiocracy but made it NOT A SATIRE but also used The Net and Inception and The Matrix… but we have it secretly monetized to viral market the Hulu joke that’s been around for years… But it’s serious and hahahaha fake brands so we don’t get that Mike Judge issue… where the product placement products threaten to sue. Oh and it is a thriller!!”

      “But can we make it overtly anti-capitalistic to make the Occupy types think it’s subversive and spend all their money on it like we did with Subaru and The Lorax?”

      “YES!! COCAINE AND HOOKERS FOR EVERYONE!!!”

  8. Holy crap “The Impostor” looks good. Can I see it now?

    • It looks great but I’m confused – is this a documentary, a documentary with cinematic re-enactments, or a fictional piece made to look real?

  9. Wait a sec, was that Draco Malfoy as Mister Mind Ghost Scientist?

  10. Only made it through the Les Mis and Bourne trailers and had to comment on how excited I am for both of these!! I guess I am the target audience/sparkling red wine person b/c I totes got chillbumps at the end of the Les Mis trailer when it says “The Dream Lives On.” And the Bourne trailer–well, I got chillbumps at that because I am a human being with eyes and ears and a heart and a brain and I want more of that in my face ASAP!

  11. That’s what you get, dumbos. #theapparition

  12. I don’t particularly get the excitement over the Bourne movie. Not that I think it looks bad or people shouldn’t want to see it, but the particular way it’s been talked about confuses me. It makes it seem as if that character has some cultural clout, like we all know him and love him and FINALLY he has a new movie adaptation and it’s an obvious given we’re all on board and excited!!! When did that happen? Are you all pulling a prank on me? Is that what’s happening? New prankmasters over here, loving Bourne movies like this is James Bond or Batman.

    • I think the character has less cultural clout than the films themselves. They’ve all been exceptionally well-made thrillers that pleased audiences and critics alike.

      • That’s interesting and makes sense. I guess I just don’t remember the films being huge enough to warrant the kind of anticipation. That’s probably just my personal taste. I feel characters are more important to a connection than just a big set-piece.

      • I tried at least twice to reply to this comment, but I guess those just went into the ether. I apologise for the unintended delayed response and a far less articulate response than I had attempted to craft a few times over.
        I suppose that makes sense. Fair enough that others found the overall spectacle of the movie made it memorable despite not having an iconic character for pop cultural history. My personal taste is on characters so I found them enjoyable but forgettable but that is obviously not so for everyone.

  13. The best part of BRANDED is that tiny “Yahoo! Movies” logo in the corner the whole time.

  14. So, is Les Mis going to be 18 hours long like the stage production or am I remembering that wrong?

  15. Um, why can’t she breathe when her sheets are pulled over her in Apparition? Are they made of plastic? Can the apparition change our normal sheets to rubber sheets at will??

  16. So Branded is basically a remake of They Live but with shittier special effects?

  17. it’s les misérables. love, france.

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