Hey, it turns out the kid from Small Wonder isn’t doing so well. It’s a sad story, really. Oh well! Want to read it? You creep? From the New York Post:

A former child actor, who enjoyed fleeting fame on the 1980s comedy “Small Wonder,” is reportedly broke and homeless — and blames a stripper for his troubles.

Down-on-his-luck actor Jerry Supiran, 39, also claimed a crooked money man contributed to his current situation, living under a bridge in central California, according to The National Enquirer.

The former child actor played adorable preteen Jamie Lawson, who was the brother of his adopted sister, Vicki, a robot made by their dad.

“When I was 18, I dated a stripper and she took what was left of my trust fund — then one of my advisers stole a half-million dollars from me,” Supiran told the supermarket tab.

Oh jeez! Those are all awful things. The sensationalistic nature of the press suggests that somehow her being a stripper has something to do with it or is somehow the most damning part of the story, but really what we’re talking about is a deep and lasting betrayal by someone that Jerry Supiran probably thought he loved or at the very least had feelings for. They were dating and she abused his trust. Then you’ve got the money manager allegedly robbing him, which, again, is a man in whom Jerry Supiran put faith to specifically care for his better interests and watch out for him, which is all we can really ask for in this world and again he was betrayed. That is so sad! And you didn’t even hear about how he lost his job as a waiter yet!

The has-been actor’s final stop to homelessness came when he after losing his job as a waiter.

“I’ve worked at different steakhouses for the last 15 years,” he said. “But two years ago, I was laid off from a restaurant in Henderson, Nev., due to the economy. I haven’t been able to find a job since.”

THIS ECONOMY! AHHHHHHHH THIS STORY!!!!!!!! He’s worked at DIFFERENT steakhouses for the last 15 YEARS? Let’s all kill ourselves!

“It’s been very tough,” Supiran said.

“I had to move back to central California where my brother lives with his family. And while he helps me with hot meals and a shower, he doesn’t have the room for me to stay there. So I either sleep at the homeless shelter I volunteer at, or under a local bridge.”

He sleeps under a LOCAL bridge?! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

The actress who played Vicki, Tiffany Michelle Brissette, 37, told The Post said she hasn’t seen Suprian since “Small” went off the air.

“I always remembered him as a fun kid, a fun guy,” said Brissette. “He had a lot of energy. He was crazy, but nothing unusual for a 10-, 11-year-old boy.”

Well, OK, take it easy Tiffany Michelle Brissette. Thank you for your expertise in developmental psychology, but I think we have most of the details we need. No one actually thought there was something unusual in the 10-year-old’s eyes, some kind of preternatural glimmer that only you, a 10-year-old child actor yourself, could recognize as the precursor to a life of steakhouse unemployment and sleeping under local bridges after a series of bad decisions involving untrustworthy confidantes.

Brissette, now a registered nurse in Boulder, Colo., said the instant fame is too much for many young actors.

“Kids who hold on to it, some can’t detach and move on,” said Brissette, who left acting as teen “for my normalcy and sanity.”

“It was a great run,” she added. “’Less is more,’ in my words. Moving forward and exploring life kept me normal. It was a fabulous run, but I was ready for what’s next.”

Can you imagine if your nurse was Vicki from Small Wonder?! Fantastic. “MUST CURE DISEASE BLEEP BLOOP I CAN CHOP TOMATOES SO FAST OR WHATEVER. HOMEWORK DOES NOT COMPUTE. INITIATING SPONGE BATH PROTOCOL.” You know how robots are, always SHOUTING. “Less is more” is a classic Tiffany MIchelle Brissette saying. It’s on every single one of her throw pillows.

Goodnight!

(Thanks for the tip, Kevan.)

Comments (29)
  1. Wesley from “Mr. Belvedere” got laid off from 32 different sushi restaurants…things are tough all over.

  2. Just goes to show, robots lack empathy.

  3. At least he didn’t turn out like Kirk Cameron.

    • I want to upvote this because I don’t disagree with you, but I can’t because it’s cruel. Also: at least he isn’t a Scientologist?

      • I thought I was being cruel toward Kirk Cameron, who I assume we’re all ok with being cruel toward.

        • This is true.

          Also: I’ve seen a bunch of messed up kid actors at Scientology booths around Hollywood when I lived there… and they all have some awful sob story about how drugs and poverty happened and fine fine I’m glad you’re sober… but dude, you had the choice to NOT do that stuff and then NOT go to a cult to get better.

          I don’t know. It sucks. I wish I were funnier today but my allergies/cold/Benadryl hangover are messing with me.

    • Another true story: As I was typing this earlier… a born-again Christian came to my door. I told him I was an athiest and he asked me how I expect to solve the world’s problems and I said, “well not with religion.” Then he left me alone.

      Untrue story: It was Kirk Cameron.

  4. More like Large Blunders.

  5. Things are hard all over. I heard that after his bicycle shop got shut down, Gordon Jump spent years trying unsuccessfully to make it as a washing machine repairman.

  6. I’m shocked that dude is that old. And the fact that I am nearly the same age makes me want to kill myself for some reason.

    I had the hots for Vicki, but hey it’s cool – I was that guy’s age at the time.

    Also pro-tip: stay away from the strippers and ‘crooked money men’.

  7. On the bright side, dude got to bang a stripper for a while.

  8. “I loved that stripper. She was fantastic. Made of plastic.”

  9. He made a half a million dollars from Small Wonder? I call BS. I’ll even call BS on his “worked in a steakhouse in Henderson, Nevada” tale. Basically whenever I talk to a homeless person, they all got robbed by a stripper and fired from a steakhouse thanks to the economy — if you know what I mean.

    Although, leave it to badidea to support him in her secret identity, Tiffany Michelle Brissette.

    FACT: Tiffany Brissette is the Bruce Wayne of badidea’s Batman.

    • But badideajeans told me she was a nigerian business man, and that if I gave her my bank account number she would send me a large sum of money for safekeeping. Is this not true?

      • Huh. I’ll investigate this. Give me your bank account number so I can cross-check it against her files. Hurry. Also, I’ll need to borrow your car.

        • If you two don’t want to help me escape my country and get paid riches… FINE. I will find two others that will. I have lots of money to share, it’s just tied up right now because of wars and things.

    • How could he make half a million dollars on a show I have never even heard of?

  10. that’s the way life goes for some people. some grow up and make the right choices. some make the wrong choices and and sometimes its just that their is something wrong in their wiring.

  11. I guess I’ve been sort of imagining that Tiffany Michelle Brissette grew up to be the Svedka robot this whole time

  12. How has nobody mentioned that for years it was rumored that the brother on Small Wonder was Billy Corgan! Which was obviously untrue but still fun to tell everyone. OK, you got me, I’m responsible for 75% of the spreading of that stupid rumor.

    What a terrible show that was. Although I do remember enjoying the episode where the family is visited by Mrs. Lawson’s ex, Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura.

  13. What am I missing? Vickie’s like “some people just can’t deal with the fame and detach and whatever”. What? Like, where’s the part where he couldn’t detach. Dude was totally detached, just workin’ at steakhouses. It’s not like he was running with Todd Bridges or giving blow jobs to casting directors. I feel like the article could have been title “Former Little Leaguer has life ruined by stripper”. I’m really missing the newsworthiness of this piece, you guys.

  14. As someone for whom Small Wonder is her avatar, this story hits me especially hard. But as Tiffany MIchelle Brissette once said, “Less is more,” and by those standards, homeless Jerry Supiran is truly blessed.

  15. Well there goes the chances of a Small Wonder reunion.

    Guess I’ll have to hold out my hope for Charles in Charge instead.

  16. “a life of steakhouse unemployment” – lolololololol. <3 you so much sometimes.

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