ARE YOU SITTING DOWN? I know you’re probably convinced that sitting down in front of a computer all day is going to decrease your life expectancy in surprisingly dramatic ways because of all those dumb articles about it, but be honest with yourself: Do you really even want to live that long? The world is probably going to be awful in those last few years you gained by standing up at your computer all day. And you’ll have spent all your good years UNCOMFORTABLE! Not to mention UNPREPARED for this Blake Lively/Gossip Girl revelation that happened at the end of a very long article about Blake Lively that some of us may have read in its entirety this morning because those people maybe don’t have a good handle on how to use their time and brain. From Bullett, via Vulture:

“It’ll be bittersweet when it’s over because it gave me all of this,” she says, scanning the second floor of the mansion where we’re huddled next to each other on a windowsill. “I think the best way to describe it is like someone who really enjoyed high school, and is like, I’m a senior and I can’t wait for the next thing! Gossip Girl was so great, but what’s the next challenge in life? Because, you know, six years is a long time. And as an actor who plays a caricature of myself on the show, I don’t think I’d say, Watch Gossip Girl for my best quality of work. But I am very lucky to have had that experience.”

Whaaaaaaaaat? Noooooooooooo! (Earlier in the article it said the NYC mansion they were located in is the same one in which Big and Carrie lived briefly in the first Sex and the City movie, and though it never explicitly stated that that was HER mansion it kind of implies it here, and if it is her mansion, WHAT?) (“It gave me all of this.”) (The article also says that she makes her bodyguard carry around chocolate in case she wants to have some chocolate.) (Maybe you should read the whole article.) (LOTS of interesting bits.) Anyway, Blake! Gossip Girl is probably definitely where we see your best quality of work! Or at least your standard quality of work! And also: CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE GOSSIP GIRL SEASON FINALE THAT HAPPENED A MILLION YEARS AGO THAT I JUST WATCHED?

I’m very late on this because I stopped watching Gossip Girl before the final few episodes of the most current season due to the plot being too messy and everyone turning around and being a triple agent all of a sudden in a way that was funny but also just too much, EVEN FOR ME TO WATCH. It was honestly too confusing and dumb and upsetting to be fun, but then this week I’ve had a cold and because of that I finished the series over the past few nights and HOLY MOLY YOU GUYS. Chuck’s mom is NOT Elizabeth Hurley like we thought she was for one episode in kind of a weird fake-out that was super lazy EVEN for Gossip Girl! (And remember when they were trying to get Elizabeth Hurley in trouble for having sex with a minor, after they caught it on tape, but then she said that they couldn’t because THEY’D actually be in trouble for distributing child pornography? As if their only option was to send it to Gossip Girl and not BRING IT TO THE POLICE?) Chuck’s dad is NOT Jack Bass like we were lead to believe he might be for two seconds, thank GOODNESS. But Chuck’s dad IS ALIVE? And took Bass Industries BACK? AND CHUCK AND BLAIR ARE BACK TOGETHER, MAYBE? And Serena is awful again and she doesn’t even care what the guy’s name is who is kissing her neck and brought her cocaine? And the real whatever-her-name-is gave all of her money to the fake whatever-her-name-is for ????? reasons? And Nate still hasn’t done ANYTHING? And Serena’s mom isn’t married to Mr. Guitar anymore because now she’s married to Chuck’s dad again? And also: GEORGINA? HEY! DID ANYONE WATCH THIS? Does anyone still want to talk about it? Hello? Please, let’s talk about it.

Comments (36)
  1. So what would she say IS her best work, then? Green Lantern? That movie about pants? The 2nd movie about pants? Does she even REALIZE that she was in two movies about one pair of pants?

  2. WHOA. I THOUGHT this chick was the gal FROM THAT show THE OC* but then THIS IS some BLONDE AND BLANDLY pretty chick FROM another show about SELF ENTITLED ASSHOLE teenagers? Jesus. I AM out of FUCKIN touch.

    *I shouldn’t HAVE CALLED it that.

    • This one is different. She has magic pants.

      • Top 5 pants moments of all time?

        • Wait, do jorts count at pants, or do we need a separate category for Kevin Smith?

        • I know this is bad form, but while we’re on the topic of the Traveling Pants, I’ll just mention that I recapped the second movie on my blog last week (http://recapscallion.blogspot.com).

          And in answer to your question:

          5. When America Ferrera says “Maybe the pants had done just about all a pair of pants can do”
          4. When Rory Gilmore almost cockblocks herself by wearing the pants when talking to a hot guy (because they are so ugly)
          3. When Amber Tamblyn thinks she might be pregnant, and puts on the pants and jumps around her room hoping they will magically make her not pregnant.
          2. When Rory Gilmore asks her Greek grandma how to say “lost pants” in Greek and she flips out and tells her that Greek girls don’t lose their pants.
          1. When the girls all go to Greece to find the pants because they blew away in the wind

          • Thank you.

          • What a bunch of irresponsible children! You don’t just LOSE your magic pants! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to buy a one-way ticket to Greece. I’m going magic pants hunting, and I need to get on this if I’m going to get to them first.

          • pants can’t make you not pregnant, they can only keep you from getting pregnant by making your ass look awful. similarly, pants can get you pregnant by making your ass look great.

            In summary, pants can do a lot. Don’t sell them short. Also don’t buy them short.

  3. “Gossip Girl has been on for 6 years?!?” – Dan Harmon

  4. The finale was SO BAD. Maybe I was spoiled by the extremely HIGH STAKES finale of the Vampire Diaries that was on the previous week, but it was like… I don’t care what happens to any of these people anymore! I could not care less about Chuck’s daddy issues! I barely remembered Rufus and Lily were still married in the first place! There is nothing interesting about Chuck and Blair as a couple anymore and even Blair looked bored when she came to Monte Carlo or wherever to join his unholy alliance with Jack! Honestly the only thing about the finale that I liked was when Lola and Ivy decided to take Lily down because she really has it coming.

    Also, I refuse to believe that even Dan Humphrey is dumb enough to team up with Georgina again. “Hi I’m Dan Humphrey and I’m gonna write a book about what bitches my UES ex-girlfriends are, but for some reason I need to go to Rome with Georgina to accomplish this!”

  5. Well, given her sister’s impressive body of work, it will be hard to….top that

  6. Kelly:LOST Jeb:Gossip Girl

  7. Too much! The finale had too much going on. It made me dizzy.

  8. What was with Dan Humphrey’s hair in the episode when he asked Blair to go to Rome? I think he was getting out of the shower or something, and his hair looks pretty weird all the time, but his after shower hair was gigantic and ridiculous looking.

  9. She was pretty good in The Town as the drugged out mom who was impressed when Jon Hamm told her the dick size of a $20 bill.

  10. Why were they huddled on a windowsill? Do I have to click through to the original article to find out if she jumped?

  11. I am very willing to talk about the Gossip Girl finale because I’m one of the sad few people who still watches regularly and – EVEN WORSE – I’m a Serena fan. No, not a fan of you, Blake. Just of the caricature of yourself, thank you very much.

    So, point being, I am sad that Serena is letting members of mediocre bands nuzzle her neck in exchange for drugs, but I am soooooo happy the Chuck and Blair train finally arrived back at the station. Blair’s other horrible boyfriends and their even more horrible hair were giving me nightmares.

  12. I’m pretty sure blake lively just reads cue cards the entire time. ALSO HOW IS BART BASS ALIVE?!?!!?!? and LILY WHY ARE YOU A MONSTER she was the best character for a millisecond. Jack Bass should just get a spin off and does blair have hep c from when she boned jack?

  13. Phew. I am glad that I read this far without someone revealing WHO the gossip girl is.

  14. Sorry to be late here but I REALLY hope that the title of this article was “Stepping Lively!”

  15. Kelly should recap Gossip Girl next season. Miss Gabe’s old Gossip Girl recaps!

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