Kanye West is on the cover of Details magazine this month.
Blah blah, OK, you’re Nike. No you’re not. But this video pales in comparison to the full-scale bonkerz that is the actual article, which includes gems like:
“”First beat I did,” he recalls, “was in seventh grade, on my computer. I got into doing beats for the video games I used to try to make. My game was very sexual. The main character was, like, a giant penis. It was like Mario Brothers, but the ghosts were, like, vaginas.”
Wait, what? It was like Mario Brothers but the ghosts were vaginas? So the vaginas followed you if you had your back turned and the only way you could get them to leave you alone was to face them, but if they touched you you died? Or is he getting the ghosts confused with Goombas? So you were a giant penis who jumped on vaginas and crushed them because you hate vaginas? Fun game, weirdo.
This is also great:
“Titles are very important. I like to embody titles, y’know, or words that have negative connotations, and explain why that’s good,” he says. “Take the word gay–like, in hip-hop, that’s a negative thing, right? But in the past two, three years, all the gay people I’ve encountered have been, like, really, really, extremely dope. Y’know, I haven’t, like, gone to a gay bar, nor do I ever plan to. But where I would talk to a gay person–the conversation would be mostly around, like, art or design–it’d be really dope. From a design standpoint, kids’ll say, ‘Dude, those pants are gay.’ But if it’s, like, good, good, good fashion-level, design-level stuff, where it’s on a higher level than the average commercial design stuff, it’s, like, gay people that do that. I think that should be said as a compliment. Like, ‘Dude, that’s so good it’s almost . . . gay.’”
First of all, I’d just like to point out that this entire quote is in reference to his “interior decorator/apartment manager.” Which is fair. Every time I talk to my interior decorator/apartment manager it sends me off on a completely irrelevant monologue that sounds like a coded cry of freedom.
Now that I’ve pointed that out, we can all have so many laughs at this. “You’ve met gay people? Like at a gay bar?” “No way, dude, not at a gay bar, I’d never go to a gay bar ever. You’ve got to be kidding me. A gay bar? Come on!” “Well then how else on Earth could you, an internationally successful recording artist with houses in New York and LA have possibly met a gay person? Something doesn’t sound right.” “I know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me when I tell you that I met gay people but that I also never went to a gay bar.” “Impossible.” “Well, let’s just at least be clear that whether or not I’ve ever met gay people, I didn’t go to a gay bar, just in case you were thinking that I went to a gay bar, even though nothing I’ve said suggests that I’ve been to a gay bar necessarily, and actually I’m just kind of sounding inexplicably paranoid and like a lady who doth protest too much.” Pause.
Doctor, more medicine!