Not only because it’s from 2007, but also because there is just no way that “Cinnamon Toast Crunch Rap” would go over well during any summer events. Keep it off your iPods! Don’t get fooled! Boys, keep working! You’ll get there someday or maybe you won’t but in any case just keep working on it, whatever it is! Get a good night’s sleep! Goodnight! (Via UniqueDaily.)

Comments (22)
  1. If you’re going to rap about a breakfast cereal, go big or go home. Peanut Butter Crunch all the way.

    • Oh!s are the only player in the dope cereal game, but I see where you’re coming from. We could probably pool our resources and come up with a rap that goes over ALL the good cereals.

      • Oh!s are pretty good, but they’re no Peanut Butter Crunch. I was actually going to suggest a Count Chocula rap, originally, but I didn’t want to be racist.

        • I wanted to check on count chocula’s skin color, and instead discovered that googling “count chocula” gets you the best wikipedia article.

          • Oh, the one with the backstory? Yeah, that’s one of my favorites. Also see if you can find the Wikipedia articles with synopses for rap songs. There’s at least Regulators, Gin And Juice, and Baby Got Back. And they’re all great.

          • “My mind on my money and my money on my mind” IS chiasmic. Holy crap. I need to lay down.

    • Two things:

      1. General Mills used to have a cereal called French Toast Crunch that looked like tiny french toasts; delicious. They then reformulated it, rendering it useless and terrible-tasting. Nonetheless, the old formulation would still prevail in a crunch-off, and…

      2. The best current Crunch cereal is a generic cereal that they sell at Harris Teeter; it is a blueberry Cinnamon Toast Crunch…There isn’t even a brand version of that; just let that sink in. It is delicious.

  2. Unrelated to annoying white douches, does anyone remember and still think that Champion of My Heart is one of the best songs they’ve heard?

  3. You can tell it’s from 2007 because Travis Hafner is on the DL.* No WAY he’d risk further injury with this dangerous cereal rapping thing.

    *timely and relevant sports quip!

    • However, the way they seem to nail the hipster-bro combination that leads to spite-filled irony, bolstered by self-entitlement and smugness gives it the feeling of a more contemporary piece.

  4. This gives me hope for the swing band number I wrote about Fiber One.

  5. I blame Andy Samberg for this kind of shit.

  6. I accept Summer Jams from one rapper-named-after-a-sugary-snack, and one rapper-named-after-a-sugary-snack only.

  7. Look, CLEARLY, Fruity Pebbles was ahead of the curve on this cereal rapping thing.

    • Ha! That’s the first thing I thought of when I saw this. One day I’m going to have to explain to my son that EVERYBODY rapped in the 90s, and it was really embarassing.

  8. The one guy is way too into this song.

  9. “Dad, I have questions about the past. Why didn’t everybody realize that gay people deserved the same recognition under the law as straight people, and why did everyone in the ‘90s release a rap? What was wrong with you guys?”

    • “Son, you will understand when you have kids and they want to know why you had an all-hologram music festival featuring holo-Brokencyde and holo-Ke$ha.”

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