Twilight may be many things, but it is not a religion. Because that would be unacceptable! From Live Science:

“Twilight” and other supernatural tales may give some non-religious teens a place to grapple with the big questions of life, according to a Danish researcher.

In Denmark, where religion is not a large part of daily life, teens seem to use media — often, American media — to explore questions of good and evil, life after death and destiny, Line Nybro Petersen of the University of Copenhagen’s film and media studies department has found. The communal experiences of hardcore fans of the series can even echo religious communities.

“Being a ‘Twilight’ fan allows the teenagers to engage in very intense emotional experiences,” Petersen told LiveScience. “You can almost get the sense that these are transcendental emotions, the feeling that you are part of something bigger than yourself in a semireligious way.”

“You can almost get the sense that these are transcendental emotions, and then you remember that we’re just talking about teenagers having a borderline unhealthy obsession with the sex lives of monsters.” I believe that Twilight can offer teenagers a place to think about things, but I’m pretty sure that’s just called BOOKS IN GENERAL. You don’t have to go overboard. I’m not sure that writing “Mrs. Jacob” on your jeans in Sharpie quite qualifies as an institutionalized tradition of collective spirituality. Also this. Then again, the Twilight Inquisition continues to impose its strict and violent moral order upon most of the Western world, so maybe there’s something to this.

Comments (25)
  1. Let me be the first to say AAGHGAH;WEIJ;SDDIOWEJN.

  2. Hey, not ALL denominations are focused on the sex lives. That’s mostly just the Ewdardipalians. Us Jacobaptists shouldn’t be judged the same way!

  3. I’m not above kneeling before the altar of my precious k-stew so I can relate to this here

  4. eh, i would consider Twilight a legitimate religion before Scientology.

  5. Oh lord. I am the first to admit that books (and movies or tv or music or whatever one’s jam happens to be) can broaden one’s mind and establish that one is part of something larger than oneself, simply by knowing that someone else in time made something that resonates, and that someone felt the same way you do, and maybe you feel a little less alone. But that should not be taken as a literal less alone because some sparkling creepo is watching you sleep. Just throwing that out there, kids.

    Maybe it’s not right to judge but fuck it. It’s friday and these books suck.

  6. I love how it’s Denmark they’re focusing on. I’m sure the country that scores highest on the happy index and has one of the best standards of living in the world is just using it to laugh at.

    • Those happiness studies are bullshit. A year or two ago they said Finland was the happiest. IMMEDIATELY, a large number of studies came up trying to prove that one wrong.

  7. I’m basing a religion on HBO’s Girls. It’s basically the pop culture version of Satanism, but super boring and filled with idiot slug people.

    • Where does it stand on including birth control in its health insurance coverage?

      • Since she has never had it and it is so easily reflected in her show’s sex scenes that are praised for their awkward REALNESS (hahahahahahahahaha. vomit.), no one should have it because they are all smug and talentless self-satisfied dips.

        (Oh and manditory sterilization for everyone to prevent future generations of slug people.)

          • Girls-related, I saw the first episode a couple weeks ago, and was taken aback by the start of the sex scene where she’s face down on the couch trying to take her tights off. I was like, “WHY THE FUCK HASN’T SHE JUST SAT UP BY NOW, TAKEN THEM OFF LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, THEN RESUMED THE POSITION?”

            Then, I finally caught up on my Colbert Report’s a few days ago and saw Lena’s interview, which is the first time I heard that she was allegedly a virgin. Then I was like, “I guess that makes sense. That scene did not add up.”

          • It’s amazing to me that she is a real person with a golden ticket and is actually significantly more loathsome than her character. She needs to be stopped and watching people praise her physically pains me.

  8. I’ve read about this “study” like five times and still can’t make heads or tails of it. It sounds like they asked kids what books they read, heard “Twilight” and not “The Bible” and then ran with it. It scans a little like an attempt at religious propaganda, no? Which is ironic, as Twilight is pretty good religious propganda anyway.

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