Everyone is 15 at some point. That’s not entirely accurate, I guess. Like, dead babies aren’t 15, but is that really how you want to start the day? Nitpicking over dead babies? Come on. Let’s just stick with the basic premise: everyone is 15 at some point. Most of us when we are 15 spend the day writing other kids’ names on our desks in marker, kids that we don’t like, hoping the teacher will see this and think the kids did it themselves and make the kids stay after class and clean all the desks, and then we walk home alone thinking up funnier more clever things to have responded during the day’s conversations that we wish we had used but we hadn’t thought of them until just now, and then sitting at the kitchen counter putting drops of Frank’s hot sauce onto tortilla chips as a snack. You know, the stuff that every 15 year old does. But some people, I guess, when they are 15, invent an early cancer detection system that is both faster, cheaper, and more effective than the current early cancer detection systems and win $75,000 scholarship prizes for their efforts. Just as, like, a different example of what some 15 year olds do besides the thing about the desks and the come backs and the chips.

This kid, if I may remind you, is 15 years old. HEY, HOW’S THINGS? (Via TheDailyWhat.)

Comments (42)
  1. Well, when I was 15, I created a website on Angelfire called Music Mania that played 30 second .wav files of then-current rock songs. And yes, there was blinking text too. So there!

  2. I really feel like this kid got the short end of the stick. Like, if Mark Zuckerberg became one of the richest men in America by inventing a platform for my uncle to tend to his fake crops, I think this invention is probably worth a lot more than $75,000. Especially in SCHOLARSHIPS! This kid ain’t got any business going to college. He figured this thing out on his own, I think he’ll get by just fine in the real world without any degree.

    • *cut to him staring at his facebook page waiting for a hot chick to add him as friend*

    • I was thinking that, too, but I imagine this fair is just the beginning, and the prize money is probably pre-determined. Still, kid! Take it to all the fairs! Be the science fair equivalent of a pool shark!

      (I almost went on an ip lecture but stopped myself. It is my gift to you, face. Treasure it)

    • I know…this kid shouldn’t just get a scholarship, he should get a grant, and a patent, and a meeting with some big people in this world. Let’s get this technology out there! Because seriously, pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadly cancers for the sole reason that it’s so hard to detect (and usually only detected once it’s in later, more deadly stages). AND THIS KID FIGURED OUT HOW TO DETECT IT!

      • I agree with this so much it hurts my hands that I can only upvote it once.

        Though… I think the kid could probably benefit greatly from being around peers, and my guess is that he’ll only meet them in college or grad school.

  3. I hope this is the future leader of the earth.

  4. Holy shit kid. Good on him.

  5. Well done, although I’m sure my Final Fantasy fan-fiction saved just as many, if not more, lives than this.

  6. Why does he look 40? I have no doubt that he’s 15 and will be very successful (and should patent the hell out of that process), but look at the parenthesis lines. He looks hag-ridden. There is clearly something else going on here besides super-super-cleverness.

    What is he gonna look like when he’s actually 40? He’s gonna look like W.H. Auden right before he died.

  7. “Wow. The science alone should be celebrated, but the mere fact that a fifteen-year-old developed it makes it… makes it… um… Christ, can that kid get a haircut?” — FLW’s Pithy Inner Dialogue.

  8. Hopefully he’ll be lucky enough to have Ashton Kutcher play him in a movie someday.

  9. What the kid forgot to add is that his single-walled carbon nano tube also doubles as a wicked-ass bong.

  10. is this a reverse solicitation for a Videogum internship?

  11. Completely amazing. How sad is it that after listening to him, I immediately wondered what adult in the medical community is going to fuck this up because it is TOO cheap and TOO good, and well, the CEOs at big pharma can’t have that now, now can they.

    Sigh.

    But anyway, awesome job kid! You are truly the best.

  12. GET A HAIRCUT, YOU HIPPIE.

  13. Ugh, I was making my kids build a cardboard arcade!
    That’s me: skating to where the puck is, not where it’s going to be.

  14. Will $75,000 be enough to cover a year in school? I’m assuming this kid will go to MIT or the like… So $75,000 just isn’t what it used to be. At least, not for school-learning.

    • I think whatever school he chooses will gladly pick up the full tab. That leaves him to use this scholarship money on, I don’t know, probably a computer? That’s about how much a Macbook costs, right?

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