There is an engineer with a website called BuildTheEnterprise.org that presents a 20-year, one-trillion dollar plan to build a real space-ready Enterprise, the spaceship from Star Trek, because this is the Internet and anyone is allowed to buy a domain and put almost whatever they want there, no matter how much maybe that website doesn’t need to exist at all (see: nearly all websites), and if it is absurd sounding enough/a slow news day enough maybe even other sites will write about it, like this website and also Yahoo:

Created by a systems and electrical engineer with 30 years’ experience, the BuildTheEnterprise site sets out a very specific timeline for the research and construction of such a massive space-related undertaking. The first nine years are dedicated to research, component testing, and drawing up a number of possible blueprints. The following 11 years are dedicated to development, where components will be manufactured and launched into space for assembly.

On year 20, the ship would be ready for a “moon fly by” with full crew and supplies. The plan may seem overly ambitious, but consider that we’re already using a number of gadgets that were all but predicted by the Star Trek television series.

The estimated cost of building the Enterprise: about $50 billion a year for the next 20 years — $1 trillion in total.

Yup. The only problem I can see here is that the website isn’t a Kickstarter? R U kidding me, engineer? Obviously a lot of time and effort and knowledge was put into constructing this plan, if you want to see for yourself and look at this plan, but also obviously, uhhhhhhhhhhhh, there are WAY better things from make believe that we should be spending our 20 years and $1 trillion building before Star Trek‘s Enterprise. HASN’T ANYONE EVER EVEN SEEN CLICK? Here is my list:

  • Click remote, obviously.
  • Closet from Clueless, again obviously. I feel ridiculous even having to type these out.
  • The thing from Honey I Shrunk the Kids 3 where they got to swim in onion dip.
  • Lady Mary’s skin.
  • How Sabrina the Teenage Witch can stand in front of her mirror and point at herself and be ready for the day.
  • The shoes from Back to the Future or whatever.
  • The feeling Bastian has when he’s in that scary room, covered by a blanket, reading The Neverending Story.

And that is just OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD RIGHT NOW.

Comments (35)
  1. Joan Holloway.

  2. Back to the Future shoes already exist:

    but yeah, they probably cost a trillion dollars.

  3. The Millennium Falcon, duh-doy.

  4. I’ve got an idea that would only be a fraction of the cost:

  5. The cure for the common cold. There may be people suffering more than me in the world, but I feel pretty terrible right now! Fix it with a Trillion Dollars!

    • Yes! But don’t spend all of the Trillion dollars on the cure; spend some of the trillion dollars on a time machine to give the cure to me last week, before my long weekend was ruined.

  6. Yes, yes, yes to all of Kelly’s things! If they build one thing from the Enterprise though, I’d want it to be Holodecks.

    • this is ot but I just got your name like two minutes ago. And Bleak House is my favorite. I think I need to burn my BA in Lit. I clearly do not deserve it.

      • Aw! No, please, keep your degree! You got it in the long run! I’m just so happy someone appreciates it! Bleak House is AMAZING. What do you think of the 2005 adaptation (from which I got my user pic?)

        • Bleak House is by far my favorite Dickens. As for the miniseries, I quite like it! I think the only one I like more is the BBC Pride & Prejudice (or the original V miniseries, but I am not sure if that has literary roots).

          Although it will never not be weird to see Scully doing non-Scully things. Where was Mulder? She clearly got caught in a time warp.

          • Ooh, girl! 1995 P&P is my FAAAVORITE too!!! #colinfirthswetshirt4president

            I think Bleak House and Little Dorrit are tied (or very, very close) for favorite Dickens for me.

            Haha, I never actually watched the X Files but I can imagine how weird it would be. She was Miss Havisham in that version of Great Expectations that aired about a month ago, and it was weird seeing her do that.

  7. Bigger packs of ramen. One isn’t enough, and two doesn’t fit into the average bowl.

  8. You don’t just jump in and start building a Constitution-class starship. Crawl before you walk, sheeple! You have to at least build a Declaration-class model and move upward. Fuck, it’s like there is no respect for the scientific method anymore.

    Also, let’s brew up some Gummi-Beary juice.

  9. Can’t show my husband this. He’ll apply for a job there.

  10. For about $1,000 less…

  11. I’d be satisfied with Robocop statues. About 50 of them, scattered randomly around the country (and not necessarily in major metropolitan areas either. You have to make an EFFORT to see them!).

    Total cost: $2,500,000.

    That’s like, what, two hours of the military’s budget?

  12. How about that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau.

  13. I’m obviously dating myself but:
    1) the contraption that gets Richie Rich dressed and washed in the morning, so we can all sleep while showering, brushing out teeth and getting dressed
    2) Wonder Woman’s invisible plane
    3) The wallpaper from Willie Wonka that you can lick and it tastes good!

    and, from modern times:
    Butterbeer and direwolves, no duh.

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