I’M THE KING OF THE SOOOUUUUUUUUUP! HAHAHHAHA. Oh man. This photo is great. On the one hand, I detest the entirety of paparazzi culture. It’s violent and grotesque and anti-human. Moreover, I’m disgusted by the re-ification of paparazzi culture as some kind of TRUTH. It wasn’t always this way, you know. There was a time when we had celebrities to be sure but we didn’t chase them through the streets screaming at them to get some kind, any kind of reaction. So when people argue that a celebrity shouldn’t complain about disliking the Absolute invasion of their private lives because that’s what they signed up for, it suggests that this is an immutable fact when in truth it’s just the “best practice” of a terrible, garbage industry. The fuck you need to know when someone buys a frozen Starbucks for? And yet, there are magical moments when you see Leonardo DiCaprio eating soup, which, like, I mean, again, this picture is just funny because THAT’S WHAT WE ALL LOOK LIKE WHEN WE EAT SOUP. Leonardo DiCaprio puts his soup on just like the rest of us, one spoon at a time. There’s no other way to eat soup. It’s not particularly embarrassing or amoral. He’s not drinking soup out of a transvestite whore’s mouth in the middle of the night. And yet it is still so funny. Hahaha. WHAT’S EATING GILBERT’S SOUP?! It is kind of sad that he has to eat it in some weird, darkened, fenced off corner and that no one else is eating soup with him although it does look like one of his assistants is about to DEMOLISH half a grapefruit. Aww, poor Leo! Somebody eat some soup with him! It doesn’t matter if you have an early dinner later, it’s just soup. You’re not going to get that full from a cup of soup. HELP YA BOY! EAT THA SOUP! (Celebuzz via RatsOff.)

Comments (39)
  1. Chowder Island

  2. I bet he really would have liked that soup when he was here:

  3. I’m frankly impressed that he eats soup from a paper bag

  4. This just doesn’t even make sense. At which meal are soup and a grapefruit both acceptable? This must be a leaked production still from an upcoming David Lynch production, because this shit is mind-blowingly surreal.

  5. The paparazzi should be the least of his worries when he’s sitting right next to the terrifying googly eyes of AUTO SPKR wall-mounted robot overwatch.

    • OH GOD IT’S 1984 AND BIG BROTHER’S TECHNOLOGY KEEPS ON ADVANCING. “This soup sure does remind of how much I love Big Brother! Can’t wait to get back to my job at Miniluv. DEATH TO EURASIA.”

  6. Guys, I’m on vacation right now and I just don’t have a lot of gumtime, but I just wanted to check in and say that this picture of What’s Eating Gilbert’s Soup and Magic Yand and it’s entire comment thread absolutely have made my week. The winner of this week’s award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence is everyone.

  7. I’m so hungry for soup now. To be fair, I *always* want soup, but just the mention of it makes me crave it like some kind of fiend… I’m like a chocoholic but for soup.

  8. Bania thinks Leonardo should still take him to Mendy’s. Soup doesn’t count as a meal.

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