Have you guys seen The Avengers yet? LOLOLOLJKJKJK. Everyone has seen The Avengers. I saw a thing this morning, though, that said it was on track to make another 60 million dollars this weekend. THAT’S SO MANY DOLLARS! In its third week? Come ON! And the thing is, I have a lot of conflicting thoughts about this whole thing. Because, on the one hand, when people decry that Hollywood is nothing but superhero movies and blockbuster franchise sequels, I totally get it. There’s certainly a place in the world for You Can Count on Mes (although Kelly would disagree, but what does she know), and there should continue to be a place, obviously. But it’s hard to argue with the pretty clear market forces at work here. What are you going to tell Hollywood? They want that sweet, sweet $$$$$. But on top of that, it’s actually kind of fun when we all watch the same thing! I don’t want that to always be the case. I want us to all watch different stuff sometimes. And admittedly, it’s not like us all watching The Avengers has opened up any particularly interesting avenues of thoughtful debate. It’s not exactly changing the conversation. But still, it’s fun when there’s an “event.” And to be honest, as a human being with tired eyes in his worn out head, I get excited for The Avengers and for Dark Knight Rises and for Jeremy Renner IS Jason Bourne, for THE SPECTACLE, in a way that will never happen with the new Hal Hartley movie. Maybe someday someone will be able to combine these two things: the excitement and the genuinely new and interesting. I don’t know. What’s my point? My point is new trailers.

The Words

Oh great, ANOTHER plagiarism thriller? Is that the only thing Hollywood can ever come up with anymore? LOLOL. I like that Bradley Cooper has become the go-to “writer” actor. Although, between this and Limitless it’s clear that he could never play an actual writer, only someone who wants to be a writer but has to cheat at writing. It’s a very specific type of character and he’s the only one who can do it. Something something James Lipton.



Won’t Back Down

Uh, what? “I saw you teach, you were great”? Who sees someone teach? I’m also pretty sure that if a teacher openly boasted of having punched a little girl in the face because she wasn’t following the rules, that the mother would bankrupt the school district with a criminal lawsuit and the little girl wouldn’t have to go to school anymore, she could just stay home and manage her investments. In any case, GREAT use of the Kelly Clarkson song at the end. What a banger!

The Do-Deca-Pentathlon

I like the Duplass Brothers just fine. OK? Let’s move on.

The Good Doctor

I don’t understand why this movie is called The Good Doctor because he seems like he’s a bad doctor!!!! Please explain!!! Am I missing something?!

Hit & Run

Borderline Unrelated Question: is this a thing that has ever happened to anyone? I’m not talking about the car chases and the ass-rape jokes, I just mean, you see all these movies in which a loving husband turns out to be a formerly violent criminal and the wife is just shocked, SHOCKED to discover who she’s really married to, and it happens so much in movies that I’m starting to think it’s just a very common human experience. It happens in what, 35% of marriages?

The We and the I

This looks really, really great.

Comments (25)
  1. Maybe the doctor’s last name is Good. Is it a Tyler Perry movie?

  2. Because I am contrarian, I like to not see event movies. I have not seen so many movies, you guys! (Avatar, Titanic, Avengers, the list goes on). But I AM excited about Hot Coffee, whose trailer did not make it into this post for some reason.


  3. So I take it Gabe is terrified of claims of copyright infringement

  4. Has the Hysteria trailer been discussed here before? Because y’all: I want to see this movie. I find the history of “female hysteria” so intriguing and hilarious, and Hugh Dancy is just so adorable, and Maggie Gyllenhaal is good most of the time! I hope this movie turns out as entertaining as it looks.

    • “female hysteria” = “old timey notion of panic caused by lady parts”?

      • “Female hysteria” was a generic catch all diagnosis for when “THESE WOMEN BE ACTING WEIRD, MAAAAN.” Anything from fatigue, to weight gain, to nervous conditions. It was treated by doctors administering a “pelvic massage” to induce “hysterical paroxysm.”

    • I saw a trailer for Hysteria last night before I saw The Raid: Redemption. It had British people, American people speaking in accents, RUPERT EVERETT was there (remember him?!), and everyone starts getting the french tickler all in their lady parts, and they’re singing opera, and large spools of copper wire are shorting out!

      Am I just describing the trailer in this thread? I don’t know because I didn’t watch it! I’m assuming the trailer I saw last night is the one posted above. Anywaysh, I probably won’t see it.

      The Raid: Redemption was good though! Although despite all the silat fighting and defending against enemies with machetes and knives, there were very few broken bones. I finally was finally able to dismiss that observation right near the end of the film, just in time for someone to get dispatched by getting a lot of their bones broken! I was like, ‘Guys! You should’ve been 2 to 3-hitcombo-ing major bone-crunching takedowns the entire time! It would’ve saved you a lot of minor cuts and scrapes!’ Lot of fun action though. Very straight-forward action movie with great action set pieces.

      • AAAAAAAAAND I probably should’ve given that comment a once over before hitting submit.

        • Haha, YES, that is the movie trailer I posted! And yes, I forgot to mention that the wonderful Rupert Everett is also involved! But yeah, it’s cool that you aren’t going to see it! “Different strokes, etc.” I probably won’t ever see The Raid: Redemption! But we’ll always have a shared love of Game of Thrones and its opening title sequence…

          • Sure thing! I’m definitely not knocking Hysteria. I have no idea how good it is/will be, and it could be very good and something I would enjoy just fine! I just usually don’t go out of my way to see films like Hysteria based on trailers like the one I saw last night. I wasn’t sold on it.

  5. Obviously Gabe hasn’t been watching this show on ID(Investigation Discovery)…

  6. Dear Gabe,

    I’m pretty sure that teacher “punished” that little girl by locking her in a janitor’s closet. She did not “punch” her. Although locking a kid in a closet still seems pretty bad.

  7. Damn. The We and the I do look hot. That’s pretty much exactly what we NYC muthafuckaz used to do on the bus in high school – just bugg the FVCK OUT sans the gay kids kissing in public lol.

  8. Also Channing Tatum starts in a dude stripper movie. This is all you need to see from the movie.

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