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Hooray, more upfronts! Did everyone wake up this morning, eyes wide, more awake than they’ve felt in months, because they knew they’d get to hear a bunch of stuff about TV today? You didn’t even need any coffee this morning, probably? “No coffee today, Sheryl. Don’t you know it’s UPFRONTS?” Is that what you said to your assistant? “And, please, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but I’d like all the upfronts news on my desk FIRST THING in the morning. And you could’ve at least memorized Jimmy Kimmel’s roast from ABC’s upfronts presentation yesterday. I heard he had a killer burn on CBS and it’s just — I don’t want you to think I’m reprimanding you, really, you do a fine job most of the time — but it’s just that I would’ve liked to hear that to help me get into the MOOD.” Man, you’re terrible! Relax! But, honestly, I do get it. It’s an exciting time. Today we have a million trailers from ABC, and then some news from Adult Swim! Remember last year when Gabe said he got to go to the Adult Swim upfronts party? What a bragger! Forget about him, let’s have our OWN Adult Swim upfronts party here! Quietly, on the internet! While we’re all at work! And it’s raining outside! HOORAY! SHERYL, ROLL THE CLIPS!
ABC
The Neighbors is a comedy about a family who moves to the suburbs and lives next door to aliens who have all taken the names of famous athletes. It’s one of those shows, like the one about the superhero family that was on briefly last year or the year before, that I just don’t understand why people keep making. Who would care to watch this every week! Not enough people like wacky, baseless family garbage enough to keep it on the air longer than for a few episodes. Right? Or maybe it’ll be a hit! Who knows. UPFRONTS!
Malibu Country is a Reba McEntire show about country something and it has a laugh track and YOU can watch the trailer if you want to, but I am not going to watch the trailer.
The Family Tools is about a father and son construction family, and it stars J.K. Simmons, Leah Remini, and Kyle Bornheimer. J.K. Simmons is great in everything and I really love him a lot. Other than that, well, you know. This is ABC. I’m not sure that we should expect a lot from these ABC previews. But: J.K. Simmons!
How To Live With Your Parents is about the blonde lady from Scrubs having to move, with her daughter, in with her parents after getting a divorce. And I know what I just said about ABC was pretty negative and I don’t want to go back on it completely, but, hey, this one doesn’t look too bad! And Brian Grazer is the executive producer. It certainly seems like it will be one to put in your DVR and watch when you get around to it.
Nashville is another country show, but unlike that last country show that I couldn’t even watch the trailer of, this country show seems GREAT! Connie Britton IS Gwyneth Paltrow in Country Strong and Hayden Panettiere IS Blair Waldorf in Country Strong, and Nashville IS Country Strong: The TV Show, and I WILL watch it, probably.
Last Resort looking fuckin’ CRAAAAAAZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYY! Kind of like what I imagine Lost to be, except with the military. Watch it. The trailer is absolutely as good as the whole show is going to get, but the trailer is great.
666 Park Avenue is a spooky thriller about a guy who maybe works (?) at this spooky apartment building, from the producers of Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars, and it has the guy from Lost in it. It looks like if The Shining were sexy, and if lots of people lived at the Overlook, and if The Shining were probably going to be canceled after one season, and then lots of other differences. Watch!
Zero Hour is an ancient secret society abduction clock nazi thriller, with the likable guy from Greek. I’m sure it’s for someone.
Red Widow is a gangster show that looks boring.
Mistresses is an Alyssa Milano show about what you think it’s about.
Adult Swim
You can more about the Adult Swim upfronts here, since there are no trailers and hearing me paraphrase their brief descriptions isn’t going to give you any better of an idea, but these two are the shows most people are talking about:
Untitled Animated Harold & Kumar Project: An animated version of Harold & Kumar, no doy. Both John Cho and Kal Penn are on board to voice the characters. And uhhhh, ok, so there’s that one.
Rick & Morty: This is a 30-minute Dan Harmon project about a genius inventor and his grandson. That might be good!
So there are those! What do you guys think? Are you so excited to hear about the upfronts news that gets announced tonight TOMORROW when we talk about it? Are you actually pretty excited about Nashville? Is the hole Lost left in your heart completely full again?
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Wow. I can’t imagine watching a single one of these shows.
It’s interesting to look at each’s like/dislike count on Youtube. Judging solely from Youtube respondents, Neighbors looks like it’s going to bomb while The Last Resort and Malibu Country are going to be big hits.
Let’s not forget, for a while the most disliked video on Youtube was also the most viewed.
The Neighbors looks like a half assed attempt at making this generation’s Third Rock from the Sun.
Fortunately, thanks to DVDs and downloads, Third Rock is still this generation’s Third Rock.
And Netflix!
Soooo, I can’t help but notice that we haven’t seen much of Gabe lately. Is it time for the Videogum upfronts yet? Was Gabe cancelled?
I think they’re devoting most of the resources to the spin off Kelly. Don’t worry, there’s a crossover episode every Wednesday.
He’ll be back tomorrow! OR WILL HE?
Or Willie, Gabe’s evil twin brother?
It’s really kind of sad when you think about all the hopes, dreams, time, money, and sacrifice that went into making all of these really very shitty looking shows.
C’mon! REBA, people! REBA!
Why is she playing another character named Reba? Can she seriously not even imagine portraying somebody with a different name than her own?
The plot of Malibu Country is identical to Reba, but set in Malibu. I know this because I have seen every episode of Reba. It was just so WATCHABLE.
It’s a miracle television shows and movies ever even get made, considering how much the money and the talent fight each other at every step.
“We’re creative! Trust us! This is good like this!”
“Well we have the money! So we want the protagonist to have a plucky, adopted son!”
Yup.
Executive producers of Downton Abbey: ” It’s great and all… but maybe we should add some new characters.
Writer: Like what?
Executive producer: i don’t know… how about zombies or ninja’s…. yeah Mary and Matthew fight zombie ninja robots on their honeymoon next season!
Writer: 0-0
I’m really upset about the fact that I recognized the house set of Malibu Country as the same set used on the later years of Hannah Montana.
Apparently all “country folk” who live in Malibu live the same life.
Is Nashville based on the movie Nashville which was based on the city Nashville, which was founded by Graham Nash?
the only way to get there is to travel across Nash Bridges
Nash-Turally
it’s perfectly acceptable to write off an entire network, right? i’m ashamed enough as it is that I have to put CBS on for How I Met Your Mother so I feel it’s right to just automatically pass on anything ABC puts on TV.
But ABC has Modern Family!
Other than that, I can’t say I watch anything on that channel. Happy Endings seemed ok. I tried to watch Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23 (worst and clunkiest name for a tv show in history), but the only mildly funny parts are with James Van Der Beek, and those parts are not funny enough or frequent enough to recommend it.
I gave Happy Endings a shot and in my opinion, it had that strange quality about it where everyone on the show seemed to just know how funny they were being, which is a lot funnier than they actually are being. But I can see how people like it.
Modern Family got stale on me very quickly. The characters are pretty much set, which means the situations they are put into then become predictable, and then the jokes become predictable. they don’t grow, or expand at all and the element of surprise is gone, so I’ve more or less given up on it.
Now that I’ve broke down and bought Netflix (What is this, 2004?), I find that I just don’t have the interest to watch new shows. I have sporadic amounts of time that I can give to watching tv and it’s just easier to marathon watch a good show that I haven’t seen yet then try to slug through all this new stuff to find something good.
Which is unfortunate, I know, because if enough people are like me, these new shows won’t have a chance. Of course, if the networks didn’t keep pumping out so much volume of blah, maybe I’d be more likely to try out a new show or two.
The upfront article I really want to see:
HBO
Detective show set in Neptune, CA. Written by Rob Thomas. Starring Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Jason Dohring, Percy Daggs III, Francis Capra.
A long time ago, we used to be friends, but I haven’t thought of you lately at all. If ever again, a greeting I send to you. Short and sweet to the soul is all I intend.
I will greenlight this with all the power I have in the land.
I miss Enrico Colantoni’s Keith Mars more than some friends I’ve lost contact with throughout the years.
The CW made a powerful enemy the day they cancelled this show. A. POWERFUL. ENEMY.
I can never upvote this enough even if I had a million identities.
Zero Hour has Cappie from Greek and Jacinda from Real World: London. I am 100% going to watch that crap out of that show no matter how bad it is.
The Neighbors trailer plays like an SNL sketch.
Uuumm, you guys, can you help me? I think I’ve somehow managed to hit my head pretty severely, because I think I just saw an ad for a show debuting in 2012 called “The Neighbors” but I’m fairly certain that that show was supposed to air in 1994 on Nickelodeon?
There is no way anyone can convince me that The Neighbors trailer is for real. No way, no how. I am 100% convinced the network executive’s 12 year old son accidentally uploaded his youtube project on his dad’s computer. Either that or I DON’T WANT TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE
so the aliens have multi-ethnic families? is that really the joke? that they got their races wrong. “Oh you stupid, stupid aliens! LOL, don’t you know the races don’t mix!” because i don’t think that’s as funny as ABC (absolutely bull crap) does.