Here we are again. Gabe’s away and I, someone who has never seen even one episode of Game of Thrones, have to introduce the Game of Thrones open thread so you guys can all discuss how crazy it was when, I don’t know, that dragon had sex with the beautiful nymph. Or how great it was when the king overthrew the other king and then chopped off his head and then fed it to the child everyone hates. Or maybe something like how sad it was when the family came together to decide it was time to put down their loving horse, who had suffered a broken leg in battle. Or how mad you were when the Matthew Perry cameo only lasted for like two seconds OR WHATEVER! Who knows what happened on this show last night. Do you guys know? What did you think about it? Was it good? I bet it was great!

Comments (142)
  1. COMPLETELY off topic here, especially since I haven’t even SEEN this show, but I just wanted to say to everybody here, thanks for being there for me this past week, even if you didn’t even know you WERE there. It’s been a rough week. My brother-in-law went in for heart surgery last Tuesday, and it didn’t go well. We were told that his chances of making it weren’t good, and on a few occasions, the doctors were very close to having to pull the plug. It takes a lot to make me lose my good spirits, but this did it for me. Fortunately, I knew that I could come here and count on everybody for a laugh, or at the very least, a smile. I just found out about 5 minutes ago that he is awake for the first time since the surgery. He’s breathing on his own and his heart is pumping again. We’re not out of the woods yet, but I feel a hell of a lot better.

    For real, every single person here is the absolute best, and you’re all my favorites.

  2. I’m kind of thinking I don’t need to go all “spoiler alert” in a thread that should be an obvious spoiler alert, but….those corpses. Those were the kids Bran and Rickon were talking about, right? Not Bran and Rickon? If so, man, Theon is all kinds of fucked up at this point.

    • Whoever they were, they should have been more careful about their walnut eating

      • Yeah, I didn’t know who the bodies were, but for whatever reason I honestly didn’t think for even a half second that Theon had actually found/killed the Stark boys. So all in all that was just a weak ending for me.

      • Geez, ElectricKoala, thanks for making me snort like a doof at work. (But seriously, thanks! This comment is still making me giggle and I first read it like 5 whole minutes ago.)

    • I was convinced it was Bran and Rickon after the episode ended based on everyone’s reaction shots and spent the next 20 min pouting and crying out “BRANNNN NOOOO”. I didn’t even realize it could be the farm children until I talked to a friend of mine and read a couple recaps. Either way, that was well done (literally, yikes).

    • Yeah, 90% sure they made overt references to the two orphans working on the farm (that Bran sent there a few weeks ago I think in that scene where the farmer asked for assistance?)

      So not THAT fucked up – Theon just murdered and mutilated some other children we never met! It was horrible, though, to see the old guy (sorry, I can only remember 20 characters’ names at a time) react.

    • I kept saying “no way!” over and over again after that scene. Theon’s dumb, but if he actually had Bran and Rickon, he wouldn’t have burned them to the point of being unrecognizable. And for a show that has never been afraid of showing grizzly death, I think it’s pretty safe to assume those were those two poor orphans Bran sent to the farm a few episodes back. Which is still awful, obviously. Either way, Theon’s gonna bring the wrath of Robb Stark down on his head something fierce.

      • Theon’s revulsion at the sight of the corpses made me think it was the first time he had seen them, that maybe he doesn’t know that they aren’t Bran and Rickon, assuming that they aren’t.

        • The show is actually doing a really great job, well the actor is doing a great job too, of giving that glimpse that Theon’s heart isn’t really into all this cruelty but he feels trapped by his family’s crazy pride in being parasitic shitbags and a serious case of inferiority and frustration that he can’t get any respect. He’s trying to do what he thinks he has to do but can’t pull it off.

          We are being given a good view of how he can become the tragically debased character he ends up being. Sure we hate him now and he’s always hateable but pathetic at the same time.

      • Yeah, I think it was the orphans, which means Theon killed two innocent kids just to save face. And presumably Robb/Catelyn will hear that it was Bran and Rickon, so it’s not only a really messed up thing to do, it’s a long term loser. Then again, Theon is pretty dumb.

    • It’s good to see Owen & Beru getting work. There just aren’t that many good roles out there for charred corpses.

    • I just realized they didn’t write parts for Meera and Jojen Reed, who are pretty important characters in Bran’s storyline.

    • They are very willing to show characters die in horrible ways on screen (or at least, make it very clear when someone dies). If the book, or the show, is cute with not showing a death, there is a good chance that someone isn’t really dead. They may pay a heavy price for cheating death, but character death is mostly a case of “show don’t tell”.

  3. I haven’t read the books, so I’m crossing my fingers that Cat just castrates Jamie.

    • That’s a good idea! Much better than mine. All I was thinking last night was, “They should cut off one of his hands. His SWORD hand. The one he needs to wield a sword. That’ll teach ‘im.”

      Balls is a much better idea, besides being relevant to the conversation they just had.

      **DISCLAIMER**: I hope it goes without saying that no one needs to reveal what happens to Jamie in the books right now, so please don’t! Even if it’s just “This doesn’t happen in the books.” Don’t even say that, if it happens to be the case.

    • I actually said aloud to my girlfriend “why don’t they just cut out his tongue?”

  4. Also, can we talk about how great every scene between Arya & Tywin is? Just superb stuff – A++. Although I’m sure Arya had to try really hard not to laugh in disgust/contempt when Tywin said she reminded him of his daughter. “THAT CRAZY BITCH? Yeah right, old man.”

    • The Arya/Twyin scenes are so good I literally do not know what to do with myself when I watch them.

      • i’m like that, too! It just gets so confusing! “Get revenge, Arya!!” “Please don’t kill him, I love him!” — Me, everytime they have a scene together.

    • The discussion of legacy and the look on Tywin’s face had me fearing the worst. That despite all his victories, whatever happens now will be the only thing anybody remembers. Heavy stuff.

  5. Ayra and Tywin’s scenes together continue to be amazing, but I thought the almost-forgotten Jaime Lannister’s Brienne zings were kind of the highlight of the show.

    • I’m completely fine with the shows continued deviation from the book because all the actors are just amazing and I like not knowing what’s going to happen next especially with Arya and Tywin, and Jaime and Brienne.

    • i know… all the Lannisters seem to be very good at that. family motto should be “a lannister always makes a snap!” (cue finger snaps and that head/neck rolling/weaving thing)

  6. Strategy v. Tactics: What’s the Diff? by Cersei Lannister

  7. I can’t believe how satisfied I was by a Varys/Littlefinger-free episode.

  8. The whole time Jon was looking for the rest of his party, I kept wondering where ghost was. Did they address that in a past episode and I missed it?

    • I had totally forgotten about Ghost! He’s wandering around out there somewhere. They showed it in the last episode. I kind of hope he doesn’t rescue Jon from the wildlings just yet though, I’m pretty curious about their whole set up.

  9. I don’t know why watching Jon Snow become very embarrassed about sex was so entertaining, but I could have watched a full hour of Ygritte making fun of his sexual experience.

    • I love Ygritte. She is so SAUCY!

    • They’re adorable. I’m voting for them for king and queen of the Westeros prom.

      • Oooh, fun game! Who would be Prom Prince and Princess? (Um, did you guys have Prince and Princess? King and Queen were Seniors and Prince and Princess were Juniors, at my school.) I vote for Robb and Lady Salisa or whatever her name is!

        • Ooh, do you think Robb’s ego would be hurt by being a Prince while Jon gets to be King? Look at us, not following any of those Westeros rules about parentage! THIS IS THE 90′S.


          • Joffrey will think he’ll be elected king and then at the end of the Prom he’ll learn that no one likes him.

            And this will be his reaction:

            Hahahahaha, you suck Joffrey.

          • I would watch the shit out of Westeros: The High School Years.
            Theon = Screech

          • A sample episode summary for Westeros: The High School Years

            A Month before Westerosi Prom:

            A young Cat Tully is is super excited because the hot and rich Brandon Stark just asked her to the prom. Brandon’s pretty stoked too, as Cat is a total babe. Brandon tells his brother, Ned, and Ned’s best friend, the uber popular athlete Robert Baratheon, about his prom plans. Robert gets a great idea for a senior prank. He knows that Petyr Baelish (so nicknamed after an embarrassing incident in the locker room) is totally in love with Cat. So, with the help of Ed Tully, Cat’s brother, he concocts a scheme to make Petyr think Cat wants *him* to take her to the prom. Robert finds Petyr and tells him that he overheard Cat talking about him and how she wants him to ask her to the prom. Robert gets Ed to confirm this, and says that Cat’s too shy to talk to him about it herself. Robert and Ed tell him to make plans to pick Cat up the night of prom.

            Petyr is so excited, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He rents a tux, a limo, and gets a corsage. The night of the prom he walks up to the Tully house and rings the doorbell. Mr. Tully opens to reveal Cat and Brandon posing for pictures together. Robert and Ed are giggling in the corner. Ned is there and is ashamed of his friends. He tells Robert and Ed to shut up, but they continue to make fun of poor Petyr. Petyr gets angry and starts yelling at Brandon, saying that he “stole his date.” He shoves Brandon and a fight ensues. Cat is very upset. She gets Brandon to stop fighting, and Petyr walks away unharmed but with one massive black eye. Cat, Brandon, Robert, Ned, and Ed all leave to go to prom.

            Petyr is left standing on the Tully’s doorstep holding Cat’s corsage in one hand and the prom tickets in the other. He watches them drive away.

            …And thus our master manipulator Petyr Baelish was born.

          • *so nicknamed Littlefinger after an embarrassing incident in the locker room.

          • Not kidding, I would read that. I would read that like a Sweet Valley High book.

  10. Without spoiling anything, all I can say is, “You know nothing, people who haven’t read the books.”
    As soon as Ygritte said that, I thought “A lot of people just had total nerdgasms.” I’m really enjoying our dear old Gwennie as Ygritte. Those scenes were super fun.

    Also good: Cersei’s scenes tonight. Both her scene with Tyrion and with Sansa were super interesting. For those of you who have read the book, what’s your take on how the show is handling Cersei? POSSIBLE SPOILERS MAYBE Fan consensus seems to be split on whether they love or hate her “softening.” I personally like it. I never really complain when a character gets a little more rounded out and 3 dimensional.

    Um, what else. I really liked all of Sansa’s scenes tonight. Poor girl.

    • I have not read the books, but on the same note of inspecting a character, I’ve noticed week after week that there’s always been a lot of anticipatory Dog-lovin’ in these comment sections. He’s getting featured more heavily as this season goes on.

      Is everyone happy with Dog now that he’s in the show more? How’s Brienne holding up to fan expectations? I personally like them both for very different, yet similar reasons (they’re both sword-wielding knights with a code, and a man/woman has gotta have a code), but I have no basis of comparison. But as tv show characters, I’m digging them.

      • I’m personally pretty happy with Brienne. She’s not exactly what I pictured physically (mainly because of the hair) but in pretty much every other way, she’s doing a bang up job.

        And, yes, I’m super happy the Hound is getting a little more screen time. He’s just an interesting character for many, many reasons. He realizes that he works for a brute, and that he is of course brutish himself (his talk about how awesome killing is was stone cold, yo) but he holds onto a few things that seem to make him feel okay about it (i.e.: protecting Sansa, comparing himself to his monster of a brother.)

        • THE HOUND! Whoops, my bad! I meant the Hound, not The Dog. *slaps forehead*

          • Well, that’s how Joffrey calls him.

          • It’s okay! Joffrey calls him Dog sometimes so, it’s cool. Plus, it’s not like there aren’t a million and a half characters to keep track of on this show. I was trying to discuss it with a friend the other night and it just became a jumble of confused pronouns and physical descriptions.

        • But how much is he really protecting Sansa? I was hoping he would just flip over the mattress himself but then he ended up ratting the poor girl out to Cersei.

        • Speaking of his brother ‘The Mountain’….I miss the old Mountain. Remember our old friend, old Mountain? It’s a weird preference to have, given how little screen time each actor has respectively had to bring the character to life, but last year’s version, in all his horse decapitating glory, just seemed far better to me.

          • You’re not alone in missing old Mountain. But he’s off in Middle Earth, Hobbit-ing it up. Wonder if that actor will come back when he’s done or not.

          • The Mountain That Rides had a conversation with Tywin in last night’s episode.

            Most everything you ever hear about The Mountain is through second-hand word of mouth anyway. Personally one horse decapitation and The Hound’s scar are plenty reminders of the Mountain’s force.

            On that note, has anybody noticed The Hound’s scar got even NASTIER since last episode? Its grossness fluctuates between episodes I’ve noticed.

          • I know, I’m just saying I preferred, for reasons hard to identify, The Mountain from last season. He seemed far more intimidating.

      • I really liked Cersei’s scenes. I remember she had a frank, lady-to-lady chat with Sansa in the books that was very effective at convincing me that she is not 100% cold, calculating, heartless bitch. She’s got layers! So I’m glad they included that.

        Re: Brienne and the Hound. YES! Love them. Because they are extremely fierce and dance to their own tunes. They’re both great so far and I cannot wait for them to . . . do more things. Musn’t spoil!

      • I want to marry the Hound and I’m so excited for all the stuff that is going to happen with him. Every time he is on screen I swoon a little bit, he is one of the very best characters in the books, and I’m pleased they found a dreamy Scottish giant to bring him to life for me.

        Brienne is also an amazing character. I was worried when I saw the casting as the woman who plays her is a model and beautiful and COME ON, but holy crap I actually cried a little when we first see her because she was so perfectly what I pictured. Without giving anything away, we will be seeing much more of her in the future and I’m really stoked for that too!

    • This is about 200 years after you posted this question so for sure nobody will read it, but I don’t see it as a “softening” at all really. In the 4th (?? I think) book when she becomes a point of view character you really get a good look at her motives and see that she isn’t all bad, and that everything she does is for her family. Without an internal monologue, it’s going ot be impossible for them to show this so they had to make her a little less villainous right from the start. **SPOILERS** I’m interested to see how they handle her descent in book 4, when she basically becomes everything she hated about Robert.

      • Haha, you thought no one would read it, but I did!! I totally, 100% agree with you. Just reading around the Internet (mainly the comments on the AV Club Experts thread) some people were a little pissed that they were showing her complexities earlier than in the books. But I think it was a good choice. We don’t get a POV chapter from her til book 4, but I think it would’ve been a terrible move if we waited til season 4 or 5 to see her dimensionality (is that a word?) And yes, SOOO stoked about her descent into paranoia. I think Lena Headey will do a great job!

  11. I thought Jamie Lannister stole the show last night. That long convo with that kid before he brained him was great, and then he outdid himself in his little back and forth with Cat Stark. Hey, Jamie Lannister, insouciance called, blah blah blah.

    Also, I can’t wait for a dire wolf to rip Theon apart (not a spoiler, just what I hope happens). Hate that sniveling asshole.

  12. So, I threw aside the third book out of frustration over the deaths of some characters I loved around Christmastime. I was wondering, for those who have read all the books, should I try them again? My problem was that the books seemed to go no where slowly. It kept building up an interesting plot, only to completely tear it apart and start over. Like, Renly’s story line. (I’d give others, but spoilers)

    That and the rape, oh gods, the rape.

    Does it get worse in the future books or does the story finally feel like it’s moving forward?

    • Hmmmm, that’s hard to answer. If you’re where I think you are in book 3 then, my sympathies. That is SUPER DUPER upsetting.

      Now, I can’t promise you that the story is going to move forward like you want but, I WILL say that if you keep reading you are in for some really cool/crazy reveals and plot twists! Things that are really, really surprising and interesting! Fair warning: a lot of people think A Feast for Crows is the worst book of the bunch. And um, yeah, it has some serious bummer sections. However, it’s the book that shows the real cost of war to the “smallfolk” in (kind of excruciating) detail. So, it’s hard to read sometimes, but an interesting look into the lives of people who aren’t high born nobles and how the “game of thrones” affects them.

      • and then ‘dance with dragons’ is SO GOOD!

        also…you guyz? a rape? what rape? I mean not ‘what rape?’ in general, because no duh, but which one in book three was so upsetting? I can’t remember one that I found particularly upsetting, which I hope doesn’t speak towards a high level of comfort with the topic.

    • I actually really like AFFC, aside from the parts where GGRM forces the reader to become deeply acquainted with a new Greyjoy practically every other chapter. Ugh, those guys. Those fucking guys! But there are definitely a lot of exciting things that happen, and a few classic “What did I just read!” moments, of the sort that made me look quite the fool when reading them for the first time on the bus. Some people that we love continue to do awesome stuff. Others continue down the path of doing nothing forever and ever. All in all, it’s a pretty great time.

      As for the rapes, they show no signs of stopping, alas.

  13. That major coup in Qarth was c-c-c-crazy! That blue lipped psychopath just makin’ copies, slittin’ throats and takin’ names! I loved it when he got stabbed then turned into a heap of laundry. Qarth became a really freaky, horrific place very VERY quickly!

    Get Daenerys her dragons already so she can get the heck out of there, Jorah!

  14. Any predictions for what is in Xaro’s safe? I’m betting he’s got a sweet jet ski in there.

  15. Can we also talk about how great Jorah is? I’m seriously in love with that man, he’s great. He needs to be in my face some more.
    That whole Qarth storyline is so good. It seems way better paced than all the other ones. Things are moving way faster.

  16. Something that tangentially relates to the discussion here:

    How do you make it so that you have a hyperlinked sentence instead of the above? Because I was totally thinking of saying “Apparently Syrio Forel actually WAS a dancing master”.

  17. I don’t think Theon and his men are properly utilizing their bloodhounds. “Right then! We’ve got riders on horseback; fast and effective as a search party, and we’ve got bloodhounds; fast and effective as a tracking team. LET’S HAVE THE HOUNDS BE ON LEASHES SO THAT BOTH RIDERS AND BLOODHOUNDS MUST SEARCH AT THE PACE OF SLUGGISH FOOT SOLDIERS.” Cripes, if you’re intent on catching and punishing members of the same family that raised you as their own, at least act like you give a hoot.

    • Oh this reminds me, how badass was Shae putting a knife to that handmaid’s throat even though she doesn’t have any reason to help Sansa.

      • It was bad-ass, but pretty dumb! I was like, “What are you DOING?! Tyrion said DON’T get noticed!” There was nothing stopping that hand maiden from immediately going to Cersei, telling her of Sansa’s womanhood, then PS’ing it with a “Oh! Btw, Sansa’s handmaiden put a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me if I told you about Sansa, my lady.”

        I’m afraid for Shae now.

  18. Hottest in Westeros (and Beyond)

    1) Robb Stark – le duh
    2) Jamie Lannister – even dirtied up he is such a pretty, smug asshole
    3) Ygritte – I bet she could show Jon Snow a thing or two and that’s hot
    4) Jon Snow – you know nothing, Jon Snow…but that’s ok because you’re just so cute
    5) Ser Jorah – sometimes I hate him because I am Team Drogo/Dany and don’t like him trying to get with her, but then other times I think he’s sexy and kind of the best
    6) Cersei – I hate her, but I thought she looked extra pretty in this episode

  19. Am i the only one who makes people shut up when the opening credits come on? i totally death glared my boyfriend when they come on, silently conveying “if you make me miss a new place on the map because of your nonsensical talking and trying to get my attention… i will destroy you!”

    • You were in the right. Absolutely.

      • P.S. I love it know when the camera takes that long journey from The Wall to Qarth, how as it passes over the sea it pans past the Astrolabe just hanging out.

        “Oh, hey guys, I’m just hanging out, ablaze and rotating, as per usual.” -Astolabe

      • KajusX, I love your love of the opening titles.

        • They’re really good! How many books and stuff have we collectively read where there are little maps in them (Wheel of Time, LotR, etc). And then Game of Thrones straight up makes an awesome animated map as their INTRO?! And it’s all stitched together with mechanical model buildings and cloth oceans?

          It’s just really cool. They did a great job, in my opinion. It’s right up my alley, anyways.

          • Agreed, as we’ve discussed before KajusX, the titles do such a great job of serving the story. I can’t think of any possible way the show could convey the geography of the world and how it affects the different houses so efficiently as the titles for this show do.

            I love how you can see Pyke’s relation to Winterfell and how those houses would run into each other over the centuries. Also, that Winterfell is the closest stronghold to the Wall and, as Jon Snow points out, the Starks are decended from the First Men and not johnny come lately Andals like the other houses. Then how the perspective shift going from the Wall to Qarth emphasizes the “foreignness” of civilazations outside of the 7 Kingdoms.

            Plus it’s just a handy way to frame the action of the episode. One can start the episode knowing where all the action will take place so as to begin wrapping one’s head around how it all fits together from the start.

  20. I’ve been reading the books and I’ve finally gotten out ahead of the show having just finished A Clash of Kings. I have a much easier time keeping track of who’s who and what’s what in the show now, but I also notice every little difference between the book and show – which is frustrating. I’d rather just enjoy it for the good tv it is and not constantly be comparing the two versions in my mind.

    As for this episode, I think Theon passed Joffrey for the evil-doer I most want to punch in the face. He’s got a very punchable face, wouldn’t you say?

    • Yes, ugh I HATE Theon!

    • not sure i see Theon as bad as Joffrey though… both are giant Hodor-sized douches but i think Joffrey is the worst and i long to see him get his comeuppance someday. where as with Theon, i’m more disappointed with his actions because i think he’s cute when he’s not a prick. I was yelling at the tv “Ned raised you, Theon, you asshole! not that creepy dad of yours that looks like riff-raff from rocky horror! ARGGGG!”

      • But that’s just it. Joffrey is straight-up evil so I expect him to do and say terrible things. Theon, like you said, was raised by the Starks so I keep expecting him to redeem himself. To me, it’s more frustrating to watch Theon sink toward rock bottom than to watch Joffrey slither around already down there.

  21. Jaime Lannister is the Sawyer of GoT. He’s spent most of the season in a cage. He’s all snarky and cocky even when he’s being threatened with death/torture. He’s got the nicknaming down with “Beast”. He strangled someone to death with chains. So, he was pretty much my favorite this episode.

  22. First time poster, plus coming to the game of thrones thread party pretty late on. But just want to comment on the Jon snow / Ygritte situation. I don’t blame him for not trying *to get it on*… it looked so cold… if you know what i mean. Right fellas!!… fellas..

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