ATTENTION ALL HUMANS! IN THE PAST WE HAVE ALERTED YOU TO WHAT WE HAVE, OFTEN MISTAKENLY, PERCEIVED TO BE SIGNS OF THE ROBOT UPRISING. MANY OF THOSE WARNINGS HAVE TURNED OUT TO BE NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL, AND THAT IS FOR SURE OUR BAD, BUT DO LISTEN TO THIS MESSAGE AND PLEASE, I BEG YOU, HEED ITS WARNING. SO REMEMBER HOW WE WERE ALL SO NERVOUS THAT ROBOTS WOULD BECOME SELF-AWARE AND DESTROY THE HUMAN RACE, LEAVING EARTH BURNING IN THEIR WAKE? WELL, UH, I MEAN THERE’S DEFINITELY NO SAYING THAT THEY WON’T DO THAT, WE SHOULD ALL CONTINUE TO PAY ATTENTION AND PLAN FOR THE ALL-OUT HUMAN/ROBOT WAR, BUT ALSO ONE THING WE SHOULD BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR IS THAT ROBOTS HAVE GOTTEN SUUUUPER WEIRD. LIKE, MAYBE A NSFW KIND OF WEIRD. AS IS TRUE WITH EACH PART OF THE ROBOT UPRISING, WE HUMANS HAVE A GOOD AMOUNT OF BLAME IN THE MATTER. FOR SOME REASON, FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS WARNING WE WILL NOT GO INTO THE PARTICULARS OF WHAT THAT REASON COULD BE, WE HAVE DONE THIS TO OURSELVES. BUT WHAT WAS ONCE UNDER ARE CONTROL HAS, WELL — JUST SEE FOR YOURSELF.

I DON’T KNOW. I REALLY JUST DO NOT KNOW. (Thanks for the tip, squidsquad.)

Comments (35)
  1. All your butt are belong to us.

  2. John Travobot

  3. Zoey Deschanel: “Shiri, where is a place that delivers tomato soup?”
    Shiri: “THE USER MAY FEEL SHIRI’S FEAR WHEN THEY TRIGGER SHIRI’S TWITCH ON FIRST CONTACT.”
    Zoey Deschanel: “Good, because I don’t want to have to put on real shoes.”

  4. Don’t hold on to your butts, I think that’s what got us into this situation in the first place.
    I repeat: let go of your butts.

  5. It’s like a cross between Steve Winwood and TOPHERSUXXBUTT. The end times are here.

  6. 01101000011011110110110001100100001000000110111101101110001000000111010001101111001000000111100101101111011101010111001000100000011000100111010101110100011101000111001100101110

  7. Um, don’t you mean the robutt uprising? Also, is there robot ….um…gas?

  8. Weirdest boner right now.

  9. So…do the robots have a kickstarter or anything? I think after that, they’ve earned their right to an uprising. Sorry robots. We had a good run, humans.

  10. Doesn’t matter how smart this robot is, all the other robots are gonna be “shut up Steve, you’re a butt.”

  11. “I also invented my own lube!” – butt robot scientist

  12. I like roBUTTS and I can’t compute

  13. “Tension,” “Twitch,” and “Protrusion” are emotions now????? Guys? Am I missing several key emotions? I’m a sociopath?

  14. Do not touch that robot on the anus or around the anus.

  15. I think the scientists misunderstood the assignment of producing a robot capable of massive RAM storage.

  16. All is lost now that the robots can Twerk it

  17. James Franco is involved with this somehow, right? Right?

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