Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hi kelly
Gabe: how are you?
Kelly: I’m good! How are you?
Gabe: pretty good, thanks
Gabe: uhhhhhhhh
Gabe: well, it’s been great talking to you, as always
Kelly: So, but wait! I’m assuming you’ve heard the news? About Obama?
Gabe: phew, almost thought i was going to have to chat with kelly
Gabe: but i think she’s done
Gabe: OOPS WRONG WINDOW
Gabe: AHHHH WRONG WINDOW LOLOLOL
Kelly: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!?!!!!
Kelly: :’( :’(
Gabe: i was talking about another kelly
Gabe: i was talking about kelly slater
Gabe: the professional surfer
Kelly: Oh yeah, I BET.
Gabe: we chat a lot and the guy won’t ever shut up
Gabe: “so pitted”
Gabe: enough, kelly slater
Gabe: we get it
Kelly: Well I didn’t believe you at first but now I’m pretty sure you are talking about Kelly Slater
Kelly: PHEW
Gabe: totally
Gabe: so what’s this about Obama? he’s the new face of Chanel No 5?

Gabe: jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk
Gabe: that’s a little RSS humor for the blogheads
Kelly: That was a pretty good one
Gabe: THANK YOU
Gabe: FINALLY, A COMPLIMENT
Kelly: Oh my goodness, you are IMPOSSIBLE
Gabe: YOU are impossible
Gabe: we’ve been chatting FOREVER
Gabe: and this is the first time you compliment me
Gabe: it’s disgusting
Gabe: speaking of compliments
Kelly: Hmmm?
Gabe: here is the one thing i will say about all this Obama business

Gabe: obviously it is a net positive thing
Gabe: and i recognize the immense weight of the historical precedents that make this meaningful
Gabe: and i’m aware of the disappointing and often disgusting realities of our still backwards society
Gabe: but
Gabe: we also do not have to pretend like this man is INCREDIBLE for doing what he and everyone else in the world should have done a long fucking time ago
Gabe: yes, good, he spoke a basic human truth about equality
Kelly: Right. Especially when he was getting so much heat for not having already said it.
Gabe: he barely even over-qualified it and equivocated endlessly!
Gabe: again: this is a good thing
Kelly: Yes
Kelly: Even though it doesn’t necessarily change much
Gabe: but, like, good GRIEF we live in Bummertown USA that something so simple and incontestable is met with such rapturous relief
Gabe: HE SAID IT! HE SAID THE PLAIN AND SIMPLE THING FOR WHICH THERE IS NO MORALLY RESPONSIBLE COUNTER-ARGUMENT!
Kelly: Right, and on top of that, the thing that his supporters wanted him to say
Kelly: There was barely a reason not to.
Kelly: And he did stress that it was his “personal” belief kind of a frustrating amount.
Gabe: yes
Gabe: he also said that he’s struggled with it
Gabe: which is a kind of hard thing to have to listen to someone say
Gabe: what’s the struggle?
Gabe: politically i know what he means
Gabe: but what’s the struggle?
Kelly: Yeah
Kelly: I mean
Kelly: You can’t really stress that this is now your personal belief, and then say it wasn’t always your PERSONAL belief because there are SOME people who define marriage a certain way based on their religion and tradition and whatever
Kelly: Which is how he explained the struggle
Kelly: Politically that could explain your actions but, yeah, I’m not sure what the struggle would be with one’s own belief
Gabe: i guess the good news is
Gabe: now we can vote for Mitt Romney with a clear conscience
Kelly: Right
Gabe: it was going to be a close race but now it’s like
Gabe: the decision has been made for us
Kelly: Politics, it’s almost too easy.
Gabe: “Politics, it’s almost too easy.” – Kelly Slater
Gabe: WHOOOOOOOOPS!
Kelly: :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Comments (77)
  1. Oh man, I can’t wait for the election kick into high gear and we get to listen to insane bigots say the dumbest shit over and over and over.

  2. I don’t think you can ignore this:

  3. I’m just glad Obama finally took a stand against Chet Haze.

  4. Hey, you guys! Check out Fox News’ awesome headline!

    Which they later changed to this:

    So is it a war or not, Fox News? Stop flip flopping!

  5. Bingo. Let’s not heap on overwhelming praise for something he should have said a loooonnngg time ago. And it took unprecedented outrage over the North Carolina thing for him to finally say it.

    • Also, it means absolutely nothing if he backs it up with “Let the states decide”. Its bullshit pandering.

      • That’s not completely true. He’s the president, even symbolic gestures have an impact. It’s a guidepost for progress, it could make a lot of people feel less marginalized, it could influence judges’ rulings in the future, etc.

      • It’s not pandering. It’s literally true. The federal government can’t decide marriage regulations as per the Constitution. The only way to actually force states to uniformly allow gay marriage would be if there were a constitutional amendment or if the Supreme Court were to declare it a right protected by either the due process or equal protection clauses of the 14th Amendment. The Supreme Court isn’t going to do that, and an amendment requires approval from 3/4 of the state legislatures.

        It is intractably and unfortunately up to the states.

        • But he could do so much more, such as going after DOMA, not just putting into the footnotes of his platform, or GASP pushing for a constitutional amendment.

          Look, I have no dog in this fight. I’m a Canadian heterosexual, who voted for Stephen Harper and Rob Ford (I do apologize for the Rob Ford thing, that was dumb), so I may seem extremely ignorant of the political reality in the US, but what is right is right. That being said, if the President can’t use his position as the head of one of the Democratic party and the bully pulpit to forcefully push for equality, then perhaps the President is just a glorified Comptroller with a nuclear arsenal.

          • Or a guy up against a legislative body controlled by the opposition party which is hell bent on defeating everything he supports no matter what.

          • Obama 2012: I tried but the Republicans are better politicians

          • Not sorry for the Harper thing, though?

          • It’s not that they’re better politicians. It’s that they’re beholden to a constituency which has hateful views, and they’re willing to burn the motherfucker down in order to cling to those votes. There is literally not one single thing anyone can do which would allow a Republican congressman (especially one from the more religious parts of the country) to vote to repeal DOMA, let alone support gay marriage, without losing his seat.

          • Hi you guys, sorry I missed this thread yesterday but I was really, really busy.

            I just want to say to murraynmitch’s “he’s not going after DOMA” charge: in fact, the Obama Administration has concluded DOMA is unconstitutional and declared it will not defend it in court against legal charges. There’s no way to repeal it at the moment, given the makeup of Congress, so the only way to defeat it is in court. And it is very rare that any Administration refuses to defend even a stupid law in court, since that’s the Executive’s job. So he is doing what you are asking him to do–going after DOMA–in an actually very ballsy (I put that in there for the gays) way.

    • I see what you’re saying, but at the same time it is kind of a big deal for the POTUS to come out in support. Should he have said it a long time ago? Yes. Should it not even be a fucking issue? Yes. But the fact is that it is an issue, and it is a big deal right now for him to make his opinions known.

      • The fact is that Obama is a politician, and like all politicians there’s political reasoning behind everything he does. As much as we’d like to believe it’s because he personally decided that enough was enough, there was most likely much hemming and hawing and advising until it was determined that now was the most opportune time, politically to make his opinions known. It doesn’t make his beliefs less important, nor does it take away the importance of the President supporting gay marriage.

        • And that’s what is sad. He’s just another politician. Instead of doing the right thing immediately, he waited for the most politically opportune moment.

          • I’m sorry if this comes out as overly sarcastic, but yes. The President Of The United States is a politician.

            And I don’t know that this is the most opportune moment. It is a moment that he has determined to be politically viable for maximum impact. Or, as close as it could be. Who knows? Maybe the NC decision really was the final straw for him? I don’t know, nor do I want to know, how the sausage is blogged. I say, “good for him.” He’s not a hero, and it was delayed, but it’s still a big deal.

          • Bloomberg said (kind of clunkily toward the end), “No American president has ever supported a major expansion of civil rights that has not ultimately been adopted by the American people, and I have no doubt that this will be no exception.”
            We can game theory this forever but I’m willing to just chalk it up as an overall checkmark for the good guys.

          • Raindog I can’t believe you are getting downvoted for that.

          • gradual change is better than drastic change followed by social upheaval and divisiveness

      • No doubt it is a good thing. The President is all powerful and what he says matters a great deal. But, I don’t think he deserves personal praise for waiting SO LONG to do it.

  6. And southern states’ marching bands continue to play Queen songs at football games. You’d think they’d be onboard.

  7. I know we all think it goes without saying and that he should have supported it wholeheartedly from day 1, but politics is a funny animal. And before everyone says that they’d prefer he be honest and lose an election, take a look at the guys lining up to replace him. A progressive, liberal president who is cautiously in support of gay marriage is better than a conservative one who is openly and vociferously against it. If Obama had to be guarded in his support of equal marriage rights in order to maintain a voter base among certain segments of the population, I think it’s a pretty small evil compared to the alternative.

  8. BREAKING NEWS: Obama has also come out in support of what gay horses eat.

  9. I know it’s sad that I am so happy about this, but does anyone else remember in the ’08 election, pretty much none of the candidates were pro-gay marriage. It’s just nice to see some progress, especially in light of the NC vote yesterday. I don’t know about anyone else, but it is exhausting to be told over and over and over that I am attacking America and am a political issue by virtue of existing. It’s nice to have people in the public sphere stand up for this cause, and it’s really nice that the POTUS is doing it.

    TL;DR: fart sound effect.

  10. I don’t know. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. If there’s anything today has taught us, it’s that there are a LOT of people whose ideas about homosexuality need a LOT of evolution. Maybe half the country, if the studies are correct. Most of us know or are related to people for whom the legalization of gay marriage is not self-evident at all. Hell, most of us were probably raised in that sort of environment. I certainly was.

    Regardless of how politically expedient this decision might have been, I think the President is (intentionally or otherwise) displaying what most of us wish this country would undergo: a period of reflection about long held beliefs and the conclusion that those beliefs were wrong. It’s not ideal, but the alternative is waiting for everyone who currently believes gay marriage to be a sin in the eyes of God to just die off.

    • I was listening to this week’s Savage Lovecast with Dan Savage (no relation), and he had this great opening monologue about people and the Bible and what it says and how basically the Bible has gotten all sorts of things wrong such as SLAVERY, and Christians are quick to say, “That’s Old Testament stuff! That’s Old Testament. We don’t take that literally anymore. We know slavery is wrong.” And the point Dan was raising is the mentions of homosexuality in the Bible are also from the Old Testament, sooooo… WTFIUWT?

      Apparently Dan has also been challenged to a debate about it by some Bible guy, and I can’t wait to listen to that.

    • Yeah, this idea that we just need to “wait for the older generation to die” has never been the true solution to societal breakthroughs. A factor, maybe, but suffrage, civil rights, etc didn’t only go through once all the sexists/racists were dead. Just enough people elected enough forward thinking government representatives. Plus, as you pointed out, minds/hearts can be changes. There are few more fascinating stats than the Gallop polling swing on gay marriage in just a few years (28% approval in ’05, 50% now).

      And, if you’re vengeful sort, it’s much more rewarding to imagine the most ardent anti-gay leaders (who tastefully celebrated stripping away civil liberties last night with wedding cake?) being around to witness their children and grandchildren utterly reject their views on the matter.

    • Huckabeast, you are consistently very very funny here, but weirdly, this is one of my favorite comments of yours.

    • I have tried so hard to make my mom come around on this, but at the end of the day here is her honest, straightforward belief: “Gay people have a propensity to be gay, just like alcoholics are genetically pre-disposed to drink. Does that mean alcoholics should drink as much as they want?” She is attempting some sort of backwards logic, but her body language is more telling than anything when she watches gay people on tv – scrunched nose and that “snick” sound you make with your tongue on the roof of your mouth. When it comes down to it, most boomers and old people just think the gays are icky.

  11. This has been making the rounds, but I thought I should share it here. It’s really sad. But good. So, be warned.
    http://youtu.be/pR9gyloyOjM

  12. I think why things like this, obvious truthful conclusions we all came to long ago, can sometimes be difficult to stomach is because it seems pretty clear that Obama was probably never against same sex marriage and his refusal to talk about it before now is due to purely political reasons. This statement too, is also politically motivated. For the majority of us who are not politicians and can express opinions without them being obscenely scrutinized in a way that can affect our livelihood and our power to affect changes we want to see in people’s lives, statements like same-sex marriage should be legal are very easy to make. I think for those who feel disenfranchised by protection of marriage laws at statement like this is very powerful. It still can feel annoying, however, that a very obvious statement many of us know to be true receives so many accolades as if it were revolutionary.

    • See, I don’t know. I am a government staffer and I see how much hand-wringing is involved in making polarizing statements. I believe he deserves all the accolades he’s receiving because it IS revolutionary for a president to stake a claim in such a contentious debate knowing that it will alienate a vast chunk of the United States, especially in an election year. I understand that the people who are anti-marriage equality are also the same people who would never vote for Obama because he’s a “black Muslim whose middle name is Hussein”, but still, it’s a risky stance to take politically. I commend him, especially because I’ve met a lot of politicians, both Democrat and Republican alike, who are too cowardly to take such a risk and stand up for what is right.

      • I see what you are saying. Maybe my annoyance comes from the fact that politicians are so scared to say what they really believe or that they will be punished for it. This shouldn’t be revolutionary. It’s annoying that this is how politics/politicians/government operates.

  13. Gabe Delahaye, professional surfing enthusiast? Hey Gabe, what are your thoughts about Dane Reynolds quitting the world tour? What about the cancellation of the Jeffery’s Bay event? How does Kelly Slater feel about TV Recaps?

  14. Ayo he might have done this now cuz politics, but i don’t care cuz anyone who knows Obamas backing the good guys now might feel a little bit better next time they get bullied

  15. The man who previously held the office, The Right Honorable Joey Bag o’ Pretzels, called for a federal constitutional amendment banning gay marriage during the State of the Union. I remember because, at a time when I didn’t think I could feel worse about myself, there was the President of the United States, shitting on me through a cathode ray tube. Now it is the future, and the President of the United States is e-affirming my iDignity via hover flatscreen. Dismissing the enormous progress that Obama’s statement represents as a mere “net positive” is unfathomable to me.

  16. honestly, this doesn’t change anything (it sucks, but its true), the same people are still going to oppose gay marriage and the same people are going to support gay marriage, in the end, we are just going to have to wait for all these backwards thinking people to just shut the hell up or go away forever

  17. I would feel better about Obama’s “I think same-sex couples should be able to get married,” line if he’d been able to stop himself from immediately following it with “NO HOMO.”

  18. Your post on this was better than Gawker’s post on this!

  19. I live in NC. Nobody throw anything at me! I voted against the amendment and also believe in separation of church and state and evolution and stuff! I actually do respect Obama for taking a stand, even at this late date, because I can’t imagine it’s gonna help him in the swing state of NC (ironic) come November. Yes, it’s depressing that civil rights are even an issue, but some of us really needed this today. It was a horrible yesterday.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to making out with my cousin, Jethro. Don’t worry. He’s not a double first cousin. That’s the only kind of cousin that it’s illegal to marry here because that would be gross.

  20. Oh man, you guys. I just wrote about gay marriage on my blog AND I recently was in NYC (coming from Toront). Now, I’m not saying that I am totally the reason Obama announced his support but I’m not saying I’m not NOT totally the reason.

    You’re welcome.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.