Top that. (Thanks for the tip, Dusty.)

Comments (45)
  1. “You poop like a child”

  2. “You are nothing like Gwyneth Paltrow”

  3. “You didn’t name your child Moses or Apple.”

  4. Technically those are compliments to your kids and assistants/ghost writers

  5. When the Hulk punched Thor in the Avengers, he was wishing it was Pepper Potts.

  6. Ed Hardy called my plain white tee-shirt the “ugliest fucking thing I have ever seen.”

  7. When I lived in Rome, I was told that I was probably stationed there because I was “easy on the eyes.” I was told this by a man who had to be at LEAST in his 70s, who drooled when he laughed. I guess that counts.

  8. “Apple and Moses are the most polite flyers.”
    -Gwyneth Paltrow’s nanny

  9. This baby is gwyneth paltrow:

  10. Whenever the flight attendants tell me that I’m the most polite flier they’ve ever seen, and then while they look away I turn around and make faces at Gwyneth Paltrow’s children, Moses and Apple, making sure they start crying and elicit stern looks from the attendants, who once held them in such high regard.

  11. “Hey you little champion! You’re such a good little champion!”

  12. “I’ve seen smaller.”

  13. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  14. “Christy will be America’s next great screenwriter.” A professor said this, without irony, in front of our class when I was 18. It still makes me smile and shake my head because America’s next great screenwriter is my favorite reality show.

  15. Notice they don’t say they are the most polite kids…just polite fliers. “Plane slave, please bring me a hot cup of tea. 180 degrees… please.”

    Someone pop her bubble.

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