It’s starting to feel like the TED Conference, whatever that even is, is losing steam. At a certain point in our nation’s glorious history, it made sense to have an annual gathering of brilliant thinkers gather together and listen to Malcolm Gladwell talk about ketchup or whatever, but at this point I think they just give out wireless headsets and 10 minute windows to whoever asks. Do you want to give a presentation about the dream you had last night involving an office building that ate your shoes? Come to the TED Conference! Do you want to examine why you don’t like the taste of honey mustard dressing? Let’s fill up an auditorium! Obviously, I’m mostly poking fun at what is probably the most fascinating thing in the world still, I’m sure, this TED Conference thing, but, like, this IS ultimately a video in which a man spends six minutes explaining how to dry your hands. And while the environmental motivation behind what he’s trying to get across is entirely sound and people do use too much paper towel in general and certainly way more than they need to in order to accomplish the designated task, it’s still, you know, I mean, come on. At the very least, this “keynote address” could have been a few years shorter. Reduce. Reuse. Renough already.

This guy does seem like a sweetheart, though. YOU DO YOUR THING, SWEETHEART! (Via GeeksAreSexy.)

Previously: How To Tie Your Shoes Like A Genius

Comments (19)
  1. i know how we can revolutionize the paper towel industry: force them to make a product where one paper towel gets the job done. lord knows I can’t take my ShamWow™ everywhere.

  2. He’s aDORKable!


  4. If I use a paper towel to dry my hands, I only use one. The problem is I wash my hands 100 times a day.

    Hey genius – if you shake your hands that way you will need to also soak up all your water splashes. Can your one paper towel do that too?

  5. I feel like someone should introduce this guy to the shamwow. Problem solved, you don’t even have to be a genius to use one of those things.

  6. I have a better solution: just don’t ever wash your hands. You’re welcome.

  7. I like the Shake ‘n’ Fold, but is it really any match for the Sambola! International Dance Craze?

  8. “Your Honor, as you can now see, I was simply trying to demonstrate the ‘Shake and Fold’ technique to my masseuse. Well, at least that would have been the case if I had been in town. Which I wasn’t, of course.”
    - Trohn Javolta

  9. Can we please have more videos of geniuses telling us how to do things? I’m not being sarcastic, I like when experts are helpful.

  10. Or you know we could save even more, plus water, by not washing our hands.

  11. im sorry but who the hell is using 4 paper towels? 2 is all you need, 1 for each hand. am i a genius now?

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