Have celebrities always been heros, do you think? Consistently saving lives behind the scenes and getting no credit at all, until Ryan Gosling told a woman not to walk into a taxi and now suddenly it’s ALL newsworthy? Patrick Dempsey’s just like, “Well if Gosling is going to take credit for simply doing his duty as a celebrity and get so much press about it, as if it’s not part of our general training in the Hollywood Motel Conference Room Child Acting Classes we all took, there’s no reason for ME not to.” You think so? I can’t think of any other explanation, as today we have not one but TWO incredible stories of celebrities we all know and love rescuing Normals who we’ll never think about again! The first features the beautiful Mila Kunis. From TMZ:

Sources tell TMZ … a 50-year-old man — who works in Mila’s house — collapsed Saturday in her L.A. home. He suffered a violent seizure … choking, coughing up blood and vomiting. He had bitten through his tongue.

A person on scene tells us … Mila came running, had her friend call 911, then rushed to the man’s side.

We’re told the 28-year-old actress grabbed the man’s head … turned it to the side so he wouldn’t choke … while another person stuffed a wallet in his mouth so he wouldn’t swallow his tongue.

Law enforcement sources tell us … paramedics arrived on scene, rushed the man to the hospital, and he’s since made a full recovery. We’re told Mila volunteered to ride in the ambulance, but it wasn’t necessary.

WOWOWOW! Some of that story included information that I didn’t even want! TMI, Mila Kunis! Keep the dirty details of your heroism to yourself! The only part I’m not totally impressed by is the inclusion of how she offered to ride in the ambulance. The thing about celebrities is that they ALWAYS volunteer to ride in the ambulance, but it is never necessary. We know your game! And today’s second celebrity hero story comes from Rain Man star Dustin Hoffman. From The Sun:

Sam was running at 9am in London’s Hyde Park ten days ago when his heart gave out. Rain Man star Hoffman was taking a walk — and dashed to help.

The actor later told paramedics Sam had been frothing at the mouth and staggering. The jogger collapsed, smashing his face on the ground.

Hoffman called emergency services and tended Sam as he waited for paramedics. He then watched as medics Martin Macarthur and Luke Sullivan started his heart again with an electric shock from defibrillator pads.

The Hollywood star — who has a £10million home in nearby Kensington — only left once Sam had recovered.

WOW! Did you see how Dustin Hoffman totally got around the “celebrities always volunteer to ride in the ambulance but it is never necessary” rule by having his Normal Person not be able to enter into an ambulance before he was saved? Dustin Hoffman has clearly been doing this a LOT longer than these other guys. Thank you, Dustin Hoffman and Mila Kunis! I don’t know who else would’ve done what you did, just kidding, probably most people, but still you saved two lives and that’s pretty good and also you’re famous so good job with both of those! I can’t wait to see which of our favorite celeb pals reveal themselves as heros NEXT!

Comments (22)
  1. Umm, excuse me? Ryan Gosling, the first celebrity hero? I think you’re forgetting a certain someone who was saving lives as far back as 2001.

  2. I already knew Mila was a hero because I saw her episode of Punk’d

  3. Does anyone else think that celebs may be staging these?

  4. I don’t remember anything other than the part where Dustin Hoffman’s London home is worth £10million. He must have invested his money in plastics or something.

  5. There was a butterfly in my office yesterday and I managed to shepherd it back out the window without touching its wings. Where my friggin’ parade?!

  6. You just KNOW that Sean Penn is steamed that he hasn’t gotten in on this. He’s probably started jumping out of bushes at old people, so he can scare them into heart attacks and then save them.

  7. I’m more interested in celebrity villainy. What about the time that Dave Grohl kidnapped a princess and kept her in his remote castle, breathing fire at any knights foolish enough to attempt rescue? Or the time that James McAvoy ripped the heart out of a CIA operative for daring to meet his gaze? Or how about when Anjelica Huston used the dark arts to gain immortality and brought the world’s leaders to their knees? It’s a double standard, I tells ya.

    • Not nearly as dastardly, but I consider any of the following celebrities doing basically anything as villains: Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, anyone in a Mr. Cool Disguise really, The Kardashians, etc, the list goes on.

      Also, occasionally Christian Bale, depending on what family member he is yelling at.

  8. Celebrities: When they see someone literally dying in front of them they don’t do nothing. They really are just like us!

  9. I am calling total bullshit on the Kunis story. It either didn’t happen that way, or did happen that way and she and her friend are EXTREMELY lucky that they didn’t kill a man.

    If someone is having a seizure, under no circumstances do you put anything in their mouth. If there is vomit, blood, etc, it is cool to try to put them on their side, but it probably won’t take (they’re having a seizure, you expect them to lie still where you put them?) and you’re likely to get kicked in the face for your troubles). It is more realistic to wait until the seizure is over and place them in the “recovery” position.
    It is basically impossible to choke on your own tongue – it’s pretty attached to the bottom of your mouth. Try to put anything in there and you’re blocking their airway, may cause them to choke, and again, could get your fingers bitten off (you’d deserve it, dummy).
    So: if someone near you has a seizure, catch their fall if you can (unlikely), move any furniture and dangerous things away from them (or move them if it’s at the top of the stairs, or in a bathtub, etc). Make sure they’re out of harm’s way, call 911 maybe, and wait until they’re conscious.

    And this brings an end to today’s edition of “Epilepsy safety with Gobblegirl.” Stay tuned for more.

  10. Zoe Saldana witnessed a car accident then assisted the bloodied old lady driver to the sidewalk and waited for the police and paramedics! I remember that one!

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