Cinco de Mayooooooooooo! Right? I mean technically, in terms of HOLIDAYS, today is “May the fourth be with you.” But, how lucky we are, we have another holiday right after the holiday of “May the fourth be with you”! CINCO DE MAYO! Do you guys have any fun Cinco de Mayo plans for tomorrow? Are you going to drink a margarita? Wear a sombrero? Only have a vague idea of what you’re celebrating? Make some guacamole? (MAKE some, and definitely not buy it, because any guacamole you can buy pre-made is 100% definitely for sure going to be terrible?) Great. Sounds good. I am not going to be celebrating Cinco de Mayo because it is a friend’s birthday. How dare they, right? How dare they. Also I guess it is Kentucky Derby Day? LOTS of holidays to celebrate this weekend. I’m glad you could hear about them here, before you went off into your weekend having no idea of any of it. Have fun! Be safe! See you back here next week!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Real Kardashians And Fake Kardashians TOGETHER! Caption Contest, and the Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 truckasaurus | May 2nd Score:43

Could I BE carrying anymore luggage?

Posted in: An Oral History Of Friends
#4 rejectedjeffdunhampuppet | Apr 30th Score:44

Don’t bring infinity knives to a snot fight.

Posted in: Summer Jam 2012: “The Baddest” – Krispy Kreme
#3 R2D2, Esq. | Apr 30th Score:45

You guys, I feel like Ser Davos could have worked just a little bit harder when he was trying to warn Stannis about Melisandre. How did he not just scream “I saw a shadow monster come out of her pussy and I’m pretty sure it murdered your brother!”

Posted in: Game Of Thrones Open Thread
#2 werttrew | Apr 30th Score:47

Please have the decency to WEAR PANTS when you are talking to Sally on the phone, Creepy Glen.

Posted in: Mad Men: Joan Isn’t Just Like Everybody Else
#1 concert_addict | Apr 27th Score:61

Also, Champion had a cameo on The Office last night!

Posted in: Thursday Night TV Open Thread

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Good catch, concert_addict! You're right about that being creepy, werttrew! Good job everyone else! As an aside from the congratulations that you all deserve, I want to say that I've been noticing a good amount of new commenters commenting recently, and that is very nice to see. If you're reading this now and you're a new commenter, HELLO! YOU ARE NICE TO SEE! STAY A WHILE!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 facetaco | Apr 27th Score:-9
Technically, yes, but headlines frequently use commas incorrectly for the sake of brevity, which can lead to confusion when they are used correctly.
Posted in: BREAKING: A PICTURE OF ZOOEY DESCHANEL WITHOUT MAKEUP ON!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: (In response to this.) C'mon, Facetaco. This -- if the headline had said "A Picture Of Zooey Deschanel Without Makeup On, Asshole" -- definitely would NOT have been one of those cases you're talking about. That would be as if a headline said "A Picture Of Zooey Deschanel Without Makeup On, Face." Even if a headline DID say that, I'd be as BOLD as to say that the conclusion based on its phrasing would be that she didn't have either makeup on OR a face. Not that she didn't have makeup on her face. Please feel free to never discuss anything else but this particular grammatical issue in the comments ever again. Very exciting. So sad I missed it when it happened last Friday.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Slick shoes! | May 1st Score:30

I’ll let you in on a secret: They’re all fake.

Posted in: Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Real Kardashians And Fake Kardashians TOGETHER!

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Slick shoes! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

  gopher trace | May 2nd Score:0

To be fair, if the porn can be described as something both living and dead, I’d be a little worried too.

Posted in: A Blair Witch Style Christian Horror Movie About Porn, Duh

[Assoc. Ed. Note: A very important part in the Christian horror movie about porn that none of the rest of us pointed out.]

Comments (42)
  1. Who’s excited for the weekend? You? Of course you are! Me too!

    Also, I’d like to echo what Kelly said above about new commenters. It’s nice to have you guys around. Please stay a while! Us long time commenters luuuuurve you guys!

    • I’m a new commenter! As of last week (or maybe the week before that)! I didn’t do a whole ‘this-is-my-first-time-commenting-thing’ on my first time commenting thing, so here it is. Hello everybody

      • I’m not a new commenter, but I’m a pretty infrequent commenter. Until finals roll around. Poll: New commenters, what prompted you to start commenting?

        • Lurked for months, always really wanted to comment on the Walking Dead and Downton Abbey recaps, and the Game of Thrones and Thursday night open threads. Finally signed up in one of those fits of late night, “I have work the next day, I should be asleep, I have to get up in 5 hours, but let me just do this first…” kind of Internet sessions.

    • Can I ask a favour of all the exciting new commenters? Please get avatars!
      Without avatars, it’s hard to remember who you are from post to post, and it immediately marks you out as not just a troll who signed up to tell us how great Boondock Saints is and who has no plans to ever come back.
      Also we can’t picture whatever-your-avatar-is saying your comments out loud (for instance: my comments are beautiful, incomprehensible to human ears, and designed to draw in mates in the springtime).

    • KELLY! HEY KELLY! (sorry I jumped the thread, people but) I NEED KELLY’S ATTENTION!

      I don’t know if you’ve noticed yet or not, but you posted the whole Monster’s Ball article on the main page. There is no “after the jump.”

    • ITS so cute baby ,and I want to know more about it s .
      seeking love ,new life …….Blackprime.*℃~ó~M

  2. May the dance gifs be with you

  3. Aw, yay! I’m “nice to see!” Thanks, Kelly! Thanks, Monsters, for making my first days commenting here so fun!
    Also: IT’S FRIDAY! WOO! And I am going to Disney’s MGM…ahem…I mean “Hollywood” Studios tomorrow!! I am going to ride Tower of Terror as many times as possible! Have a great weekend, y’all!

  4. Yay! New commenters! It’s nice to see that new people fill in when I no longer have a job to blow off by commenting 2000 times a day. Welcome to you all!

  5. Hah. I actually had written my usual, long, detailed thoughts on Mad Men. However, I was getting the impression over the last few weeks that people were beginning to find them tiresome. So I eliminated everything from my notes except the Creepy Glen remark.

    • How does one subscribe to your more detailed thoughts on Mad Men? I was into those.

    • I look forward to them every week but as I commented on Monday, that was an absolutely perfect summary for that episode.

      (Later on Monday nights I recap with my mom and the only thing we could say this week was, “Poor Sally. She is so fucked.”)

      So please, keep going!

  6. I just got gopher trace’s name, up what with gopher trace?

  7. Have some good Mexican food tomorrow everyone! I have the fajitas in the magic marinade. And the mojitos are mojitoing.

  8. I would just like to let all the new commenters know that I offer Videogum Commenting Classes and Bootcamps for a very resonable price ($50 a class, $300 for the 3-day bootcamp). Mention this comment to get $10 off!

  9. I’ll buy the Trader Joe’s guacamole kit. It has all the ingredients all packed into one plastic thing so you can basically just smash them up in whatever way pleases you and it usually turns out great. Because who has the time and brains to follow actual recipes and find the right vegetables in that forest they call a produce section!?

  10. May the fourth be with you all! Esp you MCA. I’ve been a fan for 27 years and will always be one.

  11. It has been so delightful to get back to my regular life, and a schedule that lets me read Videogum (albeit sparingly, as there was a LOT of work piled up when I got back).
    Have a good weekend, Monsters!

    • Ooooh, I forgot to say! I am seeing the Room tonight! For the first time! (Though I have heard the How Did This Get Made episode about it, so I sort of know what I’m in for). I am particularly looking forward to the football-on-the-roof scene!
      !!!!

      • Oh girl! I am so jealous! The Room is a fabulous masterwork of terrible cinema. Are you seeing it in one of those cool midnight screenings in an actual movie theater where people throw spoons and whatnot? I’ve always wanted to go to one of those!
        However, watching it at home with a few close friends is always nice too. That way you can pause the DVD to laugh as long as you like! Either way, hope you enjoy it.

  12. Ya Friday!

  13. Yessssssssssssss, I’ve been acknowledged!

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